I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Wiggles: And I am Wiggles, Destroyer of Garbage.
Me: Yeah, I know. I found the remains.
Wiggles: Isn’t it cool?
Me: No, it is not cool.
Wiggles: Waste not, want not. Isn’t that what smart humans say? I don’t know what that means, but it sounds good.
Me: When I throw something away, there is a reason and I expect it to stay thrown away.
Wiggles: And it did stay thrown away, Lady Human. It stayed thrown away in my stomach.
Stella: Why don’t I get these gourmet opportunities?
Me: Since when is garbage a gourmet opportunity?
Stella: Since it came home in a paper bag and smelled delicious. Paper bags are bulldog clues. They always carry delicious leftovers as you humans call them. What was in that bag?
Me: What I failed to eat of a sub sandwich.
Stella: Sandwich. Mmmm. Let me guess. Bread. Meat. Fragrant sauce. Why did you not offer that to me? Why was I not favored with special garbage?
Me: It’s not good for you. I can count on you not to nose through the trash. I can’t count on Wiggles. I forgot. My mistake.
Wiggles: Awww. But I disposed of the garbage for you. I am a helpful dog. Think how much less garbage would be on Earth if you just let me run through it.
Me: You may have a point. You might qualify as the environmental wonder of the world. Still…the upset stomach…
Wiggles: Oh, I forgot about that. All right. I’ll just rummage through our own trash. That will still be a big help.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.