Gate Crashers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Coming through!

Me: Nope. Not yet. Stay in the patio until I get this done.

Sweetie: The only time humans shut doors or gates is when there is something fun or interesting or delicious happening on the other side.

Doodlebug: Coming through! Awww. Nothing cool is going on.

Me: No, I was just moving some wooden planks.

Sweetie: I’ll walk the planks. I’ll walk the planks…

Me: No, Sweetie, that’s why I closed the gate.

Doodlebug: I’ll walk them, too. I’ll walk them, too…Walking the planks. Walking the planks…

MoonCat: It must be nice to find joy in every silly thing you run into.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Gumption – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I am so proud of Roo-Roo the Rooster for running off that possum.

Sweetie: We know. We know. You can stop cockadoodling about him now. He cockadoodles about himself all the time.

Me: I just appreciate gumption.

Doodlebug: I’ve got gumption! What is gumption?

Me: You know…like… the courage to stand up for somebody or something that’s right. That takes guts.

Sweetie: We’ve got guts.

Doodlebug: Lots and lots of guts. Looky here.

MoonCat: Whoever would have believed that bulldog guts would be an admirable thing.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Real Stand-up Guy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Wow! That Roo-Roo is one stand-up rooster. He backed off a possum that had walked into the chicken house. The critter ran off.

Sweetie: I could have done that!

Doodlebug: I sure would have done that! Except I was inside, asleep. But I’m still the King!

MoonCat: I’m glad Roo-Roo takes care of that sort of thing. Possums are not my forte.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Snotty – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What is that noise you are making with your nose, Lady Human? Is it singing?

Doodlebug: That’s not singing. Singing is supposed to sound sort of good. Lady Human sounds, well, not good.

Me: My nose is stopped up. ACHOO!

Sweetie: Watch out, everybody! Nose explosion!

MoonCat: Well, her nose is not stopped up anymore. Good for her. And yuck.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

School – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where did Little Human go?

Me: School.

Sweetie: I want to go to school.

Me: They don’t allow dogs.

Sweetie: Not fair! Wait! Is that where humans learn to make big ugly marks on paper?

Me: Writing, yes.

Doodlebug: And other humans look at the marks and pretend they mean something?

Me: Reading, yes.

Sweetie: Poor little humans.

Doodlebug: Never mind.

MoonCat: We’ll stay here and do something useful like take a nap.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stash – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, where’s my snack stash? Did you take it, Doodle? You better not have!

Doodlebug: I don’t need your silly little stash. I’ve got my own big one.

Me: Wait just a minute there. Are y’all stashing treats in here? No! No! No! That invites bugs in!

Doodlebug: I’ve never invited a bug anywhere.

Sweetie: Me neither. Though there was that wasp that followed me in that one day, but she was not invited!

MoonCat: A stash of treats somewhere in the house? Tell me more.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hankering – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, are you dreaming? You have that kind of look on your face.

Me: More like hankering than dreaming. I’m wanting some flavored popcorn.

Sweetie: Me, too! I’m hankering, too!

Doodlebug: Is it okay if I hanker after some cheese?

Sweetie: Me, too! Let’s make a list of hankerings!

MoonCat: Everyone take a seat and get comfortable. This may take awhile. Add tunafish to my column.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Biting Your Lip – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie? What are you doing with your mouth?

Sweetie: Nnnuf nnn.

Me: Is something wrong with your lip?

Sweetie: Nnnn.

Doodlebug: She’s trying to be quieter.

Me: By biting your lip?

Sweetie: Ma eee.

Me: You can just close your mouth or pant without verbalizing.

MoonCat: Could we maybe have just a few more minutes of the bite your lip thing? We can all do it. So restful.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Funny Old Bird – Part 3 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: You should stay a human, Lady Human. No more funny old bird nonsense. You don’t have the wings. You don’t have the feathers.

Me: We use the word “bird” sometimes to mean something weird.

Baby and Bud: Oh, so humans think birds are weird. Well, same to you!

Me: No, we think birds are fine. We think we are weird. Sometimes. Now and again. On certain days.

MoonCat: Are you weird, ma’am? I just assumed you were being human.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Funny Old Bird – Part 2 – Conversations with the Big  Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. If you are a funny old bird as you say, Lady Human, where are your wings?

Me: I didn’t get that part of the equipment.

Sweetie: Good! At least, you can’t just fly off and you don’t shed feathers like the messy budgies.

Baby and Bud: Hey! A bulldog can’t call a budgie messy! Ackk!

MoonCat: You don’t really think you’re a bird, do you, ma’am? ‘Cause if you do, we’re ALL in a world of trouble. Just sit in a human chair and calm down for a while.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Funny Old Bird – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why are you staring at the sky, Lady Human? Is there a storm coming?

Me: Almost always, but I was just thinking. I’m a funny old bird.

Sweetie: Stop that thinking again, ma’am. You know it causes nothing but trouble.

Doodlebug: She does have two legs like a bird.

MoonCat: By that reasoning, I have four legs, so I must be an elephant. Better watch out.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Quality Assurance – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. After the other day’s food fiasco, I have called a meeting to…

Sweetie: To guarantee the quality of all our food and treats. These matters must not be left in human hands any longer. All food will be inspected and approved by me.

Doodlebug: Why you?

Sweetie: My food.

Doodlebug: Mine, too!

Sweetie: Mine first!

MoonCat: To guarantee food quality, won’t we have to guarantee that there’s food? Don’t the humans do that?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

An Insult to All Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ew! Take it away! You call that food?

Me: Well, yeah, it is food.

Doodlebug: It has the smell of that crumbly stuff on the edge of metal.

Me: Rust? I guarantee there is no rust in this and no metal. At least, none that I put in there.

Sweetie: My delicate nose is horrified.

MoonCat: Don’t worry, Lady Human. You can’t help it that you don’t have a delicate, horrified nose.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Battle Stations! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Whoa! What was that?

Sweetie: I’m on it! Check in there! I’m checking Lady Human’s room!

Doodlebug: Nothing! What about outside?

Me: I just checked the front porch. All still and quiet out there.

Doodlebug: Wow! Lady Human! You’ve got a big metal stick in your hand! Cool!

Sweetie: I could stand to have a whole army of bulldogs right now.

Me: I don’t think we could manage even a platoon of bulldogs, much less a whole army.

MoonCat: It pays to be prepared. Where is that rooster and his chicken army when you need them?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stop Thinking So Much – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. She’s doing it again, Sweetie. That thinking thing.

Sweetie: Stop it, Lady Human! Stop thinking too much! It makes you sad and that makes us sad.

Doodlebug: Hey, why don’t we pull a stunt? That’ll give you something else to think about.

Me: I’d rather you not.

MoonCat: Think, but change the subject. I’ve been thinking I might like some tunafish. And I know what you are thinking. No, I do not overthink tunafish.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chewing on Something – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you have that serious bulldog look on your face again.

Me: Yeah. You might say I’m chewing on something.

Doodlebug: How can you chew with an empty mouth?

Me: My mind is working on a problem.

Sweetie: That doesn’t sound like it tastes very good.

MoonCat: Get some real food, ma’am. All dogs and cats know the real stuff is the only thing worth the effort. Unless it’s a cat toy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Why the Frown? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, you are frowning. I know the signs on your face.

Me: I’m reading some complex stuff and I have to concentrate.

Sweetie: If the stuff you are reading is making you frown, let me chew it up. That’ll get rid of it.

Me: It doesn’t exactly work that way.

Sweetie: Bulldogs know how to handle these things.

MoonCat: Oh, yes, let’s get the bulldogs to handle things. If you thought we were in trouble before, just wait.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.