Sweetie: Lady Human! How come you’re down on all fours? Are you trying to be a bulldog? Because, if you are, you aren’t doing a very good job at it.
Me: No, I’m not trying to be a bulldog. Remember a few seconds ago when you stepped on the toe of my sock?
Sweetie: Yes. That’s when you went into your bulldog act.
Me: That’s when my sock got caught under your foot and I tripped.
Sweetie: And the floor caught you. Good ole floor. If you wouldn’t put those cloth bags you call ‘socks’ on your paws, you would not have to get caught by the floor so often. Go barefoot. Like a real bulldog.
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