I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Sweetie! What is Lady Human doing?
Sweetie: Shhhh! She is reading. Whatever that is.
Doodlebug: She is being too quiet. That is never a good sign with humans. It usually means that they are up to no good.
Sweetie: I know. She’s been at this reading thing quite awhile now. Very ominous.
Doodlebug: MoonCat! Go walk on her. That should break it up.
MoonCat: Meow. Nonsense. I only walk on humans on my own terms.
Sweetie: She is all bent over. Maybe she is stuck. Let’s start a commotion.
Me: Hey, what’s all the commotion?
Doodlebug: Phew! What a relief! You’re alive. We thought your brain had been eaten by that big stack of paper.
Sweetie: Yeah. It turns out you were only doing what all humans do – wasting time.
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Bulldoggy 