No Tail to Wag – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, that dog.

Me: What dog?

Sweetie: That dog walking down the road with that long tail.

Doodlebug: Yeah, a long skinny tail like a curved stick that he whacks against things as he passes by.

Sweetie: How come we don’t have tails to wag?

Me: You have tails and you wag them. I see you do it. They’re just not long.

Sweetie: How come? No, don’t tell me. Humans did something to our tails.

Me: Yeah. Bulldog breeding took a few bad turns through the years and your tails corkscrewed and caused you some problems, and well, long story short, you have short tails.

Sweetie: Then buy me a long tail! Humans buy everything. Buy me a long tail that I can whack on things with.

MoonCat: Oh, my, what could possibly go wrong with that?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Truth about Tails –  Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, my tail is…is…stumpy. I can’t do anything with it.

Me: You can wag it.

Sweetie: Mine is stumpy, too. I can’t even whack anybody in the face with it.

Me: Do you want to?

Sweetie: Sure.

MoonCat: Face whacking with my tail. You just opened up a whole world of possibilities for me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Curtailed – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come me and Doodle don’t have long tails?

Me: A century and more of bulldog breeding took that away from y’all. But you can still wag what you’ve got.

Sweetie: Ugh! Humans again, deciding what we can and can’t have! Not fair.

Baby and Bud: Chirrrup! We keep our long tail feathers!

Me: Not all human decisions are…

Doodlebug: Wise?

Sweetie: Intelligent?

Baby and Bud: Good ideas?

Doodlebug: Unselfish?

Sweetie: Well-intentioned?

MoonCat: I think we get the idea. The important thing is that I still have my long, luxurious tail to wave in all your faces.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.