Toad in the Hole – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there’s something weird going on in the backyard.

Me: There usually is.

Sweetie: Look at that. It’s one of those froggy things sitting in a hole.

Me: Oh, yeah. That’s a toad. Just leave him alone. He’s fine.

Sweetie: It’s a he?

Me: I don’t know and I’m not trying to find out.

Doodlebug: Why is he sitting in a hole?

Me: That’s his special safe place. It’s cooler and there’s plenty to eat.

MoonCat: Everyone should have a special safe space of their own, completely away from me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Gate Crashers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Coming through!

Me: Nope. Not yet. Stay in the patio until I get this done.

Sweetie: The only time humans shut doors or gates is when there is something fun or interesting or delicious happening on the other side.

Doodlebug: Coming through! Awww. Nothing cool is going on.

Me: No, I was just moving some wooden planks.

Sweetie: I’ll walk the planks. I’ll walk the planks…

Me: No, Sweetie, that’s why I closed the gate.

Doodlebug: I’ll walk them, too. I’ll walk them, too…Walking the planks. Walking the planks…

MoonCat: It must be nice to find joy in every silly thing you run into.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Funny Old Bird – Part 2 – Conversations with the Big  Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. If you are a funny old bird as you say, Lady Human, where are your wings?

Me: I didn’t get that part of the equipment.

Sweetie: Good! At least, you can’t just fly off and you don’t shed feathers like the messy budgies.

Baby and Bud: Hey! A bulldog can’t call a budgie messy! Ackk!

MoonCat: You don’t really think you’re a bird, do you, ma’am? ‘Cause if you do, we’re ALL in a world of trouble. Just sit in a human chair and calm down for a while.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Quality Assurance – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. After the other day’s food fiasco, I have called a meeting to…

Sweetie: To guarantee the quality of all our food and treats. These matters must not be left in human hands any longer. All food will be inspected and approved by me.

Doodlebug: Why you?

Sweetie: My food.

Doodlebug: Mine, too!

Sweetie: Mine first!

MoonCat: To guarantee food quality, won’t we have to guarantee that there’s food? Don’t the humans do that?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Splitting Hairs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you have a big tangle of long hairs in your hand. Are you collecting them?

Me: No, I am throwing them away.

Doodlebug: How come they’re in your hand and not on your head where they ought to be?

Me: I’m shedding a lot right now and some are breaking off. Not enough protein, I guess.

Sweetie: Eat our food! We shed a lot and we’ve still got tons of hair. Take some of our shed hair, too, and glue it on to yours. We’ll share!

Me: You already do.

MoonCat: Never accept a donation of hair from a bulldog. They won’t take it back and it will stay with you forever.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bouncing Back – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, you’re not flat anymore!

Me: No, I’m better now.

Sweetie: Is the “poorly” gone?

Me: Yeah, feels like it. Bouncing back.

Sweetie: Like the big ball outside? How high can you bounce?

Me: Not exactly like that. Still a little tired.

Doodlebug: Great! Time for a bulldog nap.

MoonCat: Bouncebacks take a lot of energy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

I Take That Back – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, when I told you to give my treats to the cat, you didn’t believe me, did you?

Me: But you said.

Sweetie: What’s that human word when somebody runs too quickly and slides into a garbage can?

Me: Hasty?

Sweetie: Well, that was me. I take it back.

Me: No problem. Treats were delayed. They’re not here yet anyway.

Sweetie: BUT THEY SAID!

Me: So did you.

Sweetie: But I crossed my paws.

MoonCat: I said bulldogs were dumb. I take that back. For the moment.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

We Are Here to Help – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, we noticed that you have your hands full.

Doodlebug: We are here to offer our services.

Me: I don’t know exactly how you can help. I have to move all these leftovers into the freezer…oh, I see.

Sweetie: I am trained and ready for just such a job.

MoonCat: I’ll stay right here, quietly waiting until you get to my favorites when I will happily pitch in to help.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Territory – Part 1 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have made up the schedule for patrolling our Bulldog Territory.

Me: “Made up” being the operative term.

Sweetie: Rule 1: No possums allowed at any time.

Me: Except when they come in anyway.

Sweetie: Rule 2: Humans are only allowed outside at posted times and in posted places.

Me: Exactly how are you going to post these things?

Doodlebug: Watch for the risen paw. Stop. Turn around. Go inside.

Me: By what authority do you tell me, a human being, whether or not I can go outside in my own yard?

MoonCat: Well, this is going down like a lead balloon. Everybody steer clear. Including possums.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Pick It Clean – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the loud birds are being loud again.

Me: They’re just calling for a new millet spray. They picked the last one clean.

Doodlebug: What’s the big deal? We pick our bowls clean every time.

Sweetie: Then I want a new millet spray, too.

Me: Really? You want one of these?

Sweetie: Ew! Yuck! No! Take it away!

Baby and Bud: Ack! More! More! More!

MoonCat: Ack! Less! Less! Less!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Timetable – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: You have dodged my question, Lady Human. What is time? And what does it have to do with those boxes in your hands or those circles on the wall with moving sticks stuck on them?

Doodlebug: I do like the one with the skinny red moving stick that goes around and around and around…

Sweetie: Yes, I know. Tedious.

Me: You know how the sky gets dark and then it gets light again. Well, people measure time on earth by how fast the earth turns in front of the sun. So if a clock says 8 a.m., we have a good idea how much light there is left in the day.

Sweetie: So the clock is time.

Me: No, clocks measure time here on earth and the time it tells is different depending on where you are.

Sweetie: Tedious.

Me: You have no idea.

MoonCat: Yeah, I have an idea, just by listening to y’all talk about it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Quiet Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why are you so quiet, Lady Human? Is it human stuff again?

Me: Yeah.

Doodlebug: Why are you looking at the sky? Is there a storm?

Me: With humans, there’s always a storm somewhere. I like looking at the sky. It’s so big. It reminds me of the One Who made it all.

Sweetie: Bigger than the storm?

Me: Oh, yeah. And bigger than the humans.

MoonCat: Well, that’s good news.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

When Reach Exceeds Grasp – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Excuse me. What are you doing?

Sweetie: If it is me trying to do something, why do you need to be excused?

Me: I mean, what are you trying to get?

Sweetie: Nothing.

Me: You’re reaching for something.

Sweetie: Who? Me?

Me: What are you…

Sweetie: Got it!

MoonCat: Nothing stays for long out of a bulldog’s grasp. I will give them that.

Sweetie: Now what’s the next thing that’s out of reach?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Leaning Tower of Bulldogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I don’t mind y’all sitting by me, but maybe you could sit a little bit straighter.

Sweetie: Why, Lady Human, we’re just giving you our support.

Me: Well, your support weighs about 160 pounds total and that’s a little more than I can manage.

MoonCat: Hmmm. Squashed by leaning bulldogs. I think I’ll move up to my high-rise apartment.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Artificial Pillow – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m going to snuggle right up here by you, Lady Human, and take my nap.

Doodlebug: Me, too.

Me: Is there enough room?

Sweetie: Sure, I’ll just put my front legs on this big artificial pillow. It looks fake, but…

Me: Ow! That’s not a pillow!

Doodlebug: Sure looks like one.

Me: That’s me! That’s my belly.

MoonCat: I have the right to remain silent. In fact, I will remain silent. Anything I say might be used to incriminate me later on.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.