A Bathroom Just for Us – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Tall Man has brought a monster dirt-sucking machine inside and it sounds horrible.

Me: Yeah, but not for long. He is doing a huge renovation on the main bathroom. That means it will be like new.

Sweetie: A new bathroom just for us! Great!

Doodlebug: I can’t believe it! Our own bathroom!

Me: Well now, it’s not for y’all…

Sweetie: I’ve waited my whole life…

MoonCat: Sharing a bathroom with bulldogs has never been on my list of things to do. It still isn’t.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Parakeet Hair – Conversation with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I must file another complaint, Lady Human.

Me: Oh, must you? And we have an official file now?

Sweetie: Yes, you always say keep everything in good order.

MoonCat: And good order would apply to a bulldog how?

Sweetie: The parakeets are shedding hair all over the place.

Me: Parakeets don’t have hair to shed.

Doodlebug: But there’s all this fluff here.

Me: Feathers. And what’s all this fluff here? Looks like…bulldog hair!

MoonCat: As usual, fluff and nonsense.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How Come Parakeets Can’t Talk Normal? – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there’s a lot of nonsense squeaking out of the parakeets’ mouths.

Bud and Baby: Eeek. Eeek. Eeek.

MoonCat: Utter nonsense, therefore, right down a bulldog’s alley.

©️ 2025.H.J.Hill.All Rights Reserved.

Disorderly Conduct Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Point of disorder, Lady Human! MoonCat is lounging in my sleeping space!

MoonCat: Point of order, ma’am! I am lounging in my sleeping space.

Me: I have seen you both lounging in that space at the same time.

Doodlebug: Double point of disorder! It is my sleeping space. Let me in there.

Me: Doodle, never have I seen you in that space.

Doodlebug: I am the King. I am claiming this space. Plus I’m bigger than everybody else. So there!

MoonCat: Does bulldog disorder never end?

Me: Apparently not.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Forward! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Those strange humans are back on our street, Lady Human!

Sweetie: Yeah, listen to all that noise! Let’s go!

Doodlebug: Yeah, let’s go chase ’em off!

Sweetie: BULLDOG CHARGE!

Me: Hold on just a second! Those are the trash collector people. The noise is from their big trucks. You don’t want to chase them off!

Sweetie: Who told them they could come snatch our trash away?

Doodlebug: Yeah! We may need that stuff someday…sometime…maybe.

Sweetie: If it doesn’t smell too bad. Save the garbage!

MoonCat: I think I’ll just find a nice out of the way spot where no one will see me. Best way to avoid nonsense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Who Threw Dirt in the Sky? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Aaah-choo! Unacceptable, Lady Human! Absolutely unacceptable!

Sweetie: Who messed up the sky? It is a funny brownish color. It is making my nose itch. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Humans did it.

Me: Well, actually…

Sweetie: Don’t try to shirk your responsibility, ma’am. We know who causes these problems.

MoonCat: We know it’s not cats.

Me: The color is caused by dust in the air stirred up by high winds these last few days. It’s as though half of west Texas got blown over here.

Doodlebug: Then half of west Texas can take it back. I will issue a royal edict.

Sweetie: Yeah, that always works.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Old Royal Canard – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Oh, that old chestnut.

Mooncat: I prefer the term ‘that old canard’. It sounds less bulldoggy.

Baby and Bud: Canard. Canard.

Sweetie: Oh, no! Don’t get them started!

Doodlebug: Too late.

Baby and Bud: Canard. Canard.

Sweetie: Here we go. Another old chestnut gone off the rails.

Copyright 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Passing of Little Friend – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that laying in your hand, Lady Human?

Sweetie: It looks like…IT IS! ONE OF OUR PARAKEETS!

Me: NO! No, it’s not! Look! Both of our parakeets are still here! Tall Man found this little parakeet outside on the patio fence. He must have flown in and sat down and…passed away.

MoonCat: I had nothing to do with that.

Me: I know, girl. I guess this little guy escaped from his home, wherever that was. He was lost. And it’s been so cold these last few mornings that he just couldn’t make it and…

Doodlebug: He flew here because it was safe.

Me: But it was too late and we didn’t know about him.

MoonCat: And he perched on our fence.

Sweetie: Why did he come here? He could have gone anywhere.

Me: Maybe…

Sweetie: The Great Creator. He knew.

Me: This is so strange. Nothing like this has ever happened to us before.

Doodlebug: Just like when we all came here. Not an accident.

Me: The Lord Jesus said something very interesting about little birds. He said that the fall of even a tiny sparrow doesn’t happen without the Heavenly Father’s notice.

Sweetie: He should have a name. Everyone should have a name.

Me: All right. I’m going to call him ‘Little Tejas’. It’s the name of our home. Texas. It comes from an old Caddoan word that means ‘friend’.

Doodlebug: A little friend just passing through.

Me: Well, he’s home now.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Plainer – Part 2 Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. They are staring at me, Lady Human, and making their squeaky sounds. I think they don’t like me.

Sweetie: Hey, Parakeets! Nobody understands your teensy little squeaks! What are you talking about?

Me: Here, let’s try this. Here’s a little piece of fresh banana. Look how they’ve calmed down, just by smelling it.

Doodlebug: Oh, me, me, me! A chunk, please.

Sweetie: Don’t leave me out! Mmmm.

MoonCat: I’ll pass, thank you. Seafood will do for me.

Sweetie: Oh, this is great. Now we’re banana buddies with the birds. I still can’t understand them, but at least we share banana breath.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Good Vibrations – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. (Snore)

Sweetie: Why does Doodlebug snore so loud?

MoonCat: A question to which we all want the answer.

Me: Vibrations. He breathes through a narrow place in his nose and throat and the vibrations produce sound.

Sweetie: It’s so loud. I’m glad I don’t do that.

MoonCat: Hah!

Me: Actually you do. And I don’t mind. It means you’re breathing.

Doodlebug: Huh? What? Breathing in and out? Okay. I can do that. Good.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sky Fans – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Complaint!

Me: What else is new?

Doodlebug: It’s hot, Lady Human.

Me: Yes, I noticed that.

Sweetie: The sky fans aren’t pulling their weight.

Me: The ceiling fans are turned on full blast.

Sweetie: Not good enough!

Doodlebug: We need more sky fans. There! And there! And there! And…

Me: Sorry. There’s no more room for more ceiling fans. We’ll just have to make do.

Sweetie: Make do? Is that another human failure thing?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Why Shouldn’t Bulldogs Have Good Manners? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Why are you banging your metal bowls around?

Sweetie: Because they are empty.

Me: That’s because you already ate your supper.

Doodlebug: They do make a nice sound when they knock together.

Me: Not at midnight, they don’t. Y’all need better manners.

Doodlebug: Since when?

Sweetie: Yeah, we’re bulldogs. We don’t need no silly manners.

MoonCat: That right there says all you need to know about bulldogs.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hot and Itchy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. I’m hot. And itchy.

Sweetie: Stand in line! Make it stop, Lady Human.

Me: You might as well ask me to stop summertime. Hot and itchy go together. Of course, you could have a bath.

MoonCat: That’s a dirty word, Lady Human!

Doodlebug: For me, too! Water is for drinking.

Sweetie: Let’s see. Hot and itchy? Or bath? Nope. Hot and itchy it is.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Step Aside! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: And I am Sweetie and no one enters here unless I say so. And I don’t.

Me: Why are you body blocking me?

Sweetie: Because I can.

Me: Excuse me!

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: I need to pass, please.

Sweetie: I don’t think so.

MonnCat: I am so glad that I can just jump over bulldogs.

Me: I need to get over there.

Sweetie: Or what?

Me: Or there won’t be any food in your bowl.

Sweetie: Oh, well, that’s different. I didn’t know you were doing something useful at last. Proceed.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Common Courtesy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hey, watch out! How are the humans going to know I am the King if you interrupt me.

Sweetie: How indeed? Move aside! Coming through!

Me: Ow, that’s my foot.

Sweetie: Your foot should be more careful where it puts itself.

MoonCat: I’m just going to put myself in a nice out of the way corner until this is over.

Me: We need to start exercising a little common courtesy around here.

Sweetie: Okay. How little?

Doodlebug: And how common?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Change the Sheets – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! Service, please!

Me: Already?

Doodlebug: Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. My bed blankets need changing.

Me: I just gave you clean blankets last night.

Doodlebug: Yes, but these smell yucky now.

Sweetie: Yeah, they smell like him.

MoonCat: Need I say more?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Litter Box Privileges – Conversations with MoonCat

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: MoonCat? What are you doing all the way back here?

MoonCat: Exploring the wonderful bulldog-free mysteries of this palace.

Me: Well, It’s not exactly a palace…

MoonCat: It has rooms, floors, halls, doors, and this lovely litter box cubicle. Of course, it’s a palace. And no bulldogs.

Me: Well, every once in a while they wander in here.

MoonCat: Don’t spoil it for me, Lady Human.

Me: And this is my bathroom, not a litter box cubicle.

MoonCat: You could have fooled me.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.