I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, I have changed my mind.
Me: Wonders never cease.
Doodlebug: I don’t want a hole in the yard to sit in. I am not a toad. It would be undignified.
Me: Good, because I don’t really want any bulldog-sized sitting holes in the yard.
Sweetie: Nonsense! Comfort before dignity.
MoonCat: Look at my face. Isn’t it obvious? Both.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: If a little ole toad gets to have a hole in the yard, then I should have one, too! A hole of my own.
Me: So you can eat bugs at night?
Sweetie: Bugs? Ew! No!
Me: That’s what the toad does.
Sweetie: Just a hole to sit in while I look at the world.
Doodlebug: If Sweetie gets one, then I get one, too.
MoonCat: They’re going to have to be some monster-sized holes. Lady Human, do we have enough land for that?
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: We have an idea, Lady Human.
Me: Uh-oh.
Doodlebug: It’s a great idea. You can punch a big bulldog-sized hole in the wall so that we can go out and come in all night long and you won’t even know.
Me: And so can all the other local roaming visitors like possums and skunks and rats and snakes…
Sweetie: Whoa whoa whoa!
Me: …and raccoons and coyotes and…
Doodlebug: Very well then. Nevermind. We were just trying to help.
MoonCat: Occasionally, the humans do have a good idea.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Quick! Put that down in there and kick dirt all over it.
Doodlebug: I’m hurrying.
Sweetie: Uh-oh.
Me: What? Okay, where’d the hole come from?
Doodlebug: It just appeared. Nobody dug it.
Me: Yep, sure. What’s in there?
Sweetie: Treasure.
Me: Your toys are going to get wet and muddy down there. They’re going back inside the house.
Sweetie: Oh, poo! A perfectly good backyard hole. Now what can we use it for?
MoonCat: Holes should be dug for one reason and one reason only and it is not to hide treasure. Cats understand this.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 