I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Bluh! Lahdee Hooma!
Me: Ew! What’s on the end of your tongue? Hold still. Yuck!
Sweetie: Was it something I wanted?
Me: Apparently. At some point. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doodlebug: Can I have it?
Me: No. We throw yuck stuff away.
MoonCat: I’ll just keep the tip of my tongue to myself.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: What’s all that noise? Why doesn’t it stop? I can’t even think. Why is the world so loud? How can we make the noise stop?
Me: Start by holding your tongue.
Doodlebug: Lady Human, that sounds like that “bite your tongue” advice. Not as painful, but almost impossible to do.
Sweetie: Yeah, my tongue is way too slippery to hold.
MoonCat: Step 1: Tongue inside mouth. Step 2: Lips closed. Step 3: Stay that way.
©️ 2026. H J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Ugh. Wagging tongues!
Sweetie: I’m not wagging my tongue. I save all wagging for my tail.
Doodlebug: My tongue licks. Hands and faces and food and other stuff I can reach…
Me: Yeah, I get the picture. No, I’m put out because some wagging human tongues can’t seem to stay still and they cause trouble.
Sweetie: Give them sticky treats that will glue their mouths shut.
Dioodlebug: Or give them something to wag instead of their tongues.
MoonCat: My rule to avoid trouble: Keep your tongue firmly in your mouth and your long curvy tail wrapped comfortably around your own body. No wagging allowed.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 