I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. As I have said many times before, humans talk too much. It is bad enough when they are using too many words to us. When they start talking to themselves, well, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. All I have to say right now is SHHHHH! I could have said SILENCE! But since Lady Human is talking to herself out loud, she probably wouldn’t have heard me over her own volume so what’s the point?
Me: So, I am speaking aloud. So what?
Stella: So… ANNOYING. DISTRACTING. NOISY. IRRITATING. What else? Let’s see. Oh, yes. UNNECESSARY. NOTHING WE NEED TO HEAR. WEIRD. Shall I go on?
Me: Not weird. Helpful.
Stella: Not to us, it’s not. How can human yakking be helpful?
Me: Sometimes, when I say the words instead of just thinking them, my brain processes my thoughts into solid ideas that I can hold onto.
Stella: Oh, Lady Human, that is scary.
Me: How so?
Stella: Solid words. Whatever next? Will you start throwing your words around the room like little balls for us to fetch? Oh, look out! There’s a word flying through the air! Don’t let it smack you in the head!
Me: Sorry, Stella. I forgot how literal you can be.
Stella: Literal? Lady Human, are you saying that I am stupid?
Me: No. I am saying that your way of thinking is more concrete than mine.
Stella: What? Concrete in my head? No wonder my head is so heavy.
Me: I am sorry that my out loud self-talk was confusing to you.
Stella: When you ask yourself a question, do you answer it, too?
Me: No, I usually type it into my phone for someone else’s answer.
Stella: Perfect. No more talking to yourself out loud. Let your fingers do the talking. We won’t even have to hear it. You spend so much time on that little box anyway. Go ahead and spend more. Ah, blessed silence.
Me: Wait a minute! Blessed silence? What about when you all erupt in barking?
Stella: I meant blessed silence from humans. There’s a difference. You should know that by now.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.