I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Thank you, Lady Human, for making my special man cave. It is so warm and cozy, covered with soft blankets.
Sweetie: Oh, is that what stinks?
Doodlebug: It smells like me. Regal and masculine.
MoonCat: Don’t expect me to visit.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is not about the Big Blue Chair again, is it?
Sweetie: Everything is about the Big Blue Chair. Unless it’s about something else that I want.
Me: Look. The chair is mine. I don’t mind letting you use it when I’m elsewhere, but we can’t both fit in it at the same time.
Doodlebug: No problem. It’s too tall anyway.
MoonCat: No argument here. It smells like bulldog anyway.
Sweetie: I don’t mind sharing MY chair with you, Lady Human, but you’re going to have to shrink your bottom some to accommodate both of us and I have always first dibs.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Let me say at the outset that I never do anything wrong, but if I ever did, I would do it without holding back. Just like Sweetie is doing to Lady Human’s big blue chair.
Me: What? Oh, Sweetie! No!
Sweetie: Hmmm?
Me: The arm of my chair is soaked with your mouth drool! How long have you been licking there? It couldn’t be wetter if someone poured water on it.
Sweetie: Thank you for noticing, Lady Human. Whatever I do, it’s 110% or nothing. No halfway for me.
Doodlebug: And I think with that said, I’m going to take a nap.
MoonCat: Yes. I’m for doing nothing, too.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Me: All right. Here we are again. Why are you sitting on that piece of cardboard instead of your pile of comfy blankets or your padded bed or your big red cushion?
Sweetie: Allow me to explain, bulldog style. First, bring that very large open box over here.
Me: To put one cardboard box on top of a flattened cardboard box?
Sweetie nods.
Me: Now you are tapping the big red cushion which means you want that moved to the new cardboard box.
Sweetie nods.
Me: There. Per your command.
Sweetie: Naturally. Ahhhh. Nothing like efficient bulldog management.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Me: Sweetie, what in the world are you trying to do?
Sweetie: Isn’t it obvious, Lady Human? I’m going into that box for fun and exploration.
Me: The opening you are attempting to enter is about 6 inches wide. Your nose is bigger than that, not to mention your head or your shoulders.
Sweetie: My body follows where my nose tells it to go. Everything else has to get out of the way.
Me: You can’t fit.
Sweetie: Oh, Lady Human, how long have you known us? “Can’t” is not a word that fits in the bulldog dictionary.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“The sky is so thoughtless. It scatters its lacy ice flowers all over the place where they get stepped on and dirty and melted by our hot feet. They aren’t even lacy ice anymore. Then they dry up…and go back into the sky… until the sky gets full and careless and drops them again. Well…that’s okay. They are pretty when they are new.”
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, something very sad is happening. The sky is falling apart. Little pieces of it are falling to the ground. I have always liked looking at the sky, but now it is going away. I shall miss it.
Me: The sky is not falling.
Doodlebug: I beg to differ. Look. Watch out that it doesn’t hit you.
MoonCat: Meow. I don’t go outside. Problem solved.
Me: What you are seeing are snow flurries, tiny ice crystals. I know you don’t remember, but we have seen them before.
Doodlebug: Wait. Snow. I’ve heard that word before.
Sweetie: And it covered the ground and swallowed our feet where we walked. NOOOO!
Me: It’ll be all right. There may not be that much this time.
Doodlebug: NOOOO! Swallowed feet!
Sweetie: NOOOO! Swallowed poop!
MoonCat: Now you see why I’m happy inside.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is this in my bowl? I am accustomed to being served quality food in the style to which I have become accustomed.
Sweetie: Yeah. He means what is this mess?
Me: I home-cooked some fresh dog food for y’all.
Doodlebug: Oh, no.
Sweetie: Why should we eat that? You don’t even cook for yourself.
Me: Just taste it. It has good ingredients. Ground turkey and some carrots and chicken broth and…
Sweetie: Mmmm. I guess it’s okay.
Doidlebug: Yes, put a little more of that mess in my bowl. No, a little more. And some more. And a bigger spoonful than that and…
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! Sweetie is tearing up something! I don’t know why and I don’t know what.
Sweetie: Grrrrr! Move! Move! There! There!
Me: Oh, Sweetie. What are you doing in a cardboard box? I was going to put that out for the recycle people.
Sweetie: Grrrr! No need, ma’am. I’m recycling it myself. Repurposing. Reconditioning. All those fancy words the humans use, well, I’m DOING IT! BEHOLD! My new bedroom!
Me: Well…I’m…impressed. You knocked down one side of the box and dragged a blanket into it and made it just the right size for a new bed? In addition to the other two beds you already have. Okay. Why?
Sweetie: This is who I am. This is what I do. I’m not just a bulldog toilet engineer. Now I’m a bulldog architect. Don’t waste cardboard. Give it to me! I will reuse it! Wait. Look. There’s a plastic box over there! ANOTHER PROJECT! WOO HOO!
MoonCat: Meow. All right. Everyone hide. The bulldog has lost it.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 