I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human!
Me: I know. I see it. She did it again. And that took some doing.
Miss Sweetie: I saw the whole thing. I want to try that.
Doodlebug: I would have done it by jumping on my back legs. I am talented that way.
Wiggles: How come everyone is staring at me?
Me: I wasn’t gone that long. I just did a little last minute grocery shopping before the stores closed. And what do I walk in to find?
Wiggles: What? It sounds exciting.
Me: Wiggles, we had this discussion a few days ago. NO SNACKING OUT OF THE CAT LITTER BOX!
Wiggles: All I did was hop up on the big wooden box that you all rudely put in the way and I balanced on the narrow board on top until I could climb over the cat carrier prison and from there it was a short jump behind the small bench and there I was.
Stella: I hereby award the first ever Bulldog Medal to Wiggles for exceeding tenacity, refusal to give up easily, stubborn pigheadedness, and ingenuity in the face of human obstacles. Congratulations, Wiggles!
Wiggles: Is there a prize? Can it be a trip to the cat box?
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, something is wrong with the world. There is cold white stuff all over the ground. Clean it up.
Me: That’s just frost. Our first frost this season.
Stella: It is cold, and it is making my toesies wet.
Me: It won’t last long. Once the sun hits It and the temperature rises, it will disappear.
Stella: Are you being lazy?
Me: Not this time. It will disappear on its own. I’ll bet you don’t remember, but the day before you came to us, we had a big snowfall, big for us that is. Inches deep and it stayed around for a day. Frost is nothing compared to snow. And that was the last snow we’ve seen since then. Maybe we’ll see some this winter.
Stella: And it covered the ground?
Stella: And it was cold and wet?
Stella: And it was way deeper?
Stella: Nope. You can keep that stuff to yourself.
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Where is Wiggles?
Stella: Why do you want to know?
Me: Wiggles! Wiggles! I heard muffled barking when I was unloading groceries. But the barking has stopped. I know we didn’t leave her in the yard. Wiggles!
Miss Sweetie: I am simply sitting and staring.
Doodlebug: Me, too.
Stella: Tall Man is home. Maybe he can help.
Me: I can’t find Wiggles.
Tall Man: I’ll search outside.
Me: I’ve run all through the house. I’ll get in the car and drive around. How could she have gotten out? If she would just bark again…wait.
Stella: Now you’re thinking.
Me: Can’t possibly be…
Stella: Sure it is.
Me: Wiggles, how did you get back there?
Wiggles: It wasn’t all that hard for someone determined.
Me: I don’t believe it. I put up a wall and all kinds of obstacles to keep you out of the cat box area. How did you…There is that plastic wall, a bookcase, a piano bench. The cat carrier, a stack of cardboard boxes…
Tall Man: She must have moved the plastic wall.
Wiggles: I’m not revealing my secret.
Tall Man: Well, here is another heavy wooden box for a block.
Me: And couldn’t one of you all have given me a hint where she was?
Stella: Are we Wiggles’ keeper?
Wiggles: I barked because I got trapped and because there were no more cat snacks.
Me: Gross! Nasty!
Wiggles: There are wonderful treats the cat hides back there. Why do you all make them so hard to reach?
Me: Because they are not good for you! And I thought you were lost.
Wiggles: I’m sorry, Lady Human. That you were worried about me, not about raiding the cat box treats.