Bed Shuffle – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Uh-oh!

Sweetie: “Uh-oh” is right! This is most distressing! Lady Human! Something unidentified has showed up in our sleep spaces!

Me: Yeah! Great, right?

Doodlebug: That’s not what I would call them.

Sweetie: What do we call them?

MoonCat: I would call them new sleep cushions. Anyone would call them that. Ugh. Dogs are so dumb.

Me: Yeah. For extra padding and insulation now that it’s started to get cooler.

Doodlebug: Doesn’t smell like me.

Me: Well, not yet, but give it 5 seconds.

Sweetie: I’m not sure. I think it makes me itchy.

Me: It’s brand new. Nobody’s ever used them before. Oh, Doodlebug, you aren’t even trying yours.

Doodlebug: I trust the floor. It won’t swallow me up and fly me away while I’m asleep.

Me: The pad won’t either. That could never happen.

Sweetie: Says the human, and we all know how smart they are.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Harsh My Mellow – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you up to, Lady Human?

Sweetie: Yes, you look weird. I mean, weirder than usual. What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing. I’m just putting my feet up and covering my eyes with a cool cloth. Mellowing out a little.

MoonCat: Meow. Something at which I am an expert.

Sweetie: Nope. That doesn’t sound good. That mellowing business needs to stop.

Doodlebug: Your mellowing doesn’t look very bulldoggy. I’m not going along with it.

Me: But you two were all stretched out and mellow yourselves a few minutes ago.

Sweetie: Well, that was just an error on your part. We don’t do mellow.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Exotic Scents – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Something is wrong in the air.

Sweetie: Yes, it’s an unusual scent. Not from around here. Uh-oh, it’s Lady Human!

Doodlebug: What have you gotten into, ma’am? It smells…heavy.

Me: Well, I did use a new shampoo on my hair.

Sweetie: Good thing you only have a little hair on top of your head or we would not be able to breathe.

Me: I realize you have industrial strength noses and I can smell this myself.

Sweetie: With your puny little smeller.

Doodlebug: Just imagine what you smell like to us. Time to get some fresh air.

Me: Y’all?

Sweetie: No, you. Maybe the whole sky can float some of that scent away. Phew!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

An Ordinary Day – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: BORING!

Me: What if we do something really interesting and exciting?

Sweetie: BORING!

Doodlebug: But a nice try, Lady Human.

MoonCat: Meow. Why are dogs so easily bored? I am never bored.

Sweetie: All you ever do is stretch, eat, and nap.

MoonCat: Precisely. Never a boring moment.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Schedule – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Teatime is late, Lady Human. This is not a complaint, but it really is a complaint.

Me: It’s not nearly time for that yet.

Sweetie: Bulldog schedules are never wrong. Our stomachs are finely tuned instruments, far better than your clocks.

Me: I’ve noticed that y’all have been moving mealtimes around the last few weeks. Is it because the weather is cooling off?

Doodlebug: Bulldogs don’t respond to the weather any more than we respond to your human clocks.

MoonCat: Meow! Time to eat!

Me: Oh, not you, too.

MoonCat: Not me, too! Me first!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.