Typical Cat Behavior – Conversations with Stella and Moon Cat

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human is always complaining about our behavior. We’re rude. We’re loud. Well, what do you think about our behavior now, ma’am?

Me:  Are you referring to the cat?

Stella:  I saw what she did. There you were being all nice to her and brushing out her hair and she was all quiet and then…BOOM! Cat screech! Cat scratch! And why? Because cat! That’s why!

Me:  Yeah. Cats have a way about them, don’t they?

Stella:  Is that all you’re going to say? What about inappropriate behavior? How about blah, blah, blah, cut that out?

Me:  You have to talk to cats differently than you do to dogs.

Stella:  I don’t have to talk to cats at all!

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Me:  I mean dogs respond to humans in a different way. For example, I point and tell you to go a certain direction, most of the time, you do.

Stella:  I do not! How insulting to suggest such a thing!

Me:  I mean dogs tend to cooperate with us a little more than a lot of cats do. I don’t mean that bulldogs are pushovers.

Stella:  I still think you need to lecture the cat on appropriate behavior.

Me:  And what do you think Moon Cat’s response will be to a lecture?

Stella:  Meow.

Moon Cat:  Meow.

Stella:  Typical.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

A Visitor with a Badge – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Going and coming and coming and going! Why are so many humans interrupting our days? Yesterday it was the Little Human. And then the person known as Raj. And then someone else! Who was that last person, Lady Human?

Me:  A police officer.

Stella:  One with shiny metal jewelry on his shirt?

Me:  A badge? Yes.

Stella:  Why do you keep inviting these people to our house at nap time?

Me:  The police come when they can. Somebody stole at package from our front porch. A neighbor saw it and reported it.

Stella:  Well, who invited the package snatcher here?

Me:  Nobody. That’s the point.

Stella:  What did he steal? WAIT! Was it our food?

Me:  No.

Stella:  What is your food?

Me:  No.

Stella:  Then just how serious is this?

Me:  He stole from at least one other neighbor so it’s serious. The funny thing is…what he stole from here…were some Bible study materials, writings about the Great Creator’s Book.

Stella:  What? He stole from the Great Creator.

Me:  I believe anytime someone steals, they are stealing from Him. The funny thing is when that man opens that package, he may find the most valuable thing that has ever come into his hands. I hope and pray so anyway.

Stella:  Okay. I agree. So long as it wasn’t our food.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Inappropriate Behavior Part 2 – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. That was awesome. Did you hear us, Lady Human?

Me:  How could anyone not hear you?

Stella:  Why are you put out? We did not bark at the little human pup…okay, not puppy.

Me:  But you did at our other visitor.

Tiger:  Who was he? I don’t remember seeing him before.

Me:  You have, but it was a long time ago.

Wiggles:  He did not smell familiar to me.

Me:  His name is Raj and I think you overwhelmed him a little.

Doodlebug:  Good. That means we did our job as bulldogs.

Miss Sweetie:  He seemed nice. That’s why I used my big barking voice so he would feel welcome.

Me:  Did you see how fast he backed out of the room?

Miss Sweetie:  Because we were wonderfully overwhelming?

Me:  I wouldn’t attach the word ‘wonderfully’ to that.

Stella:  Who was this visitor?

Me:  I told you. His name is Raj. He is Tall Man’s friend. They are working on Raj’s computer.

Stella:  So, he brought us food.

Me:  No. Computers are not food.

Stella:  Did he bring us toys?

Me:  No.

Stella:  He must have brought us treats.

Me:  No.

Stella:  Then why did he come?

Me:  I told you.

Stella:  Computer? That makes no sense. That has nothing to do with us.

Me:  Not everything is about you.

Stella:  Just as I said. Nonsense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

Inappropriate Behavior – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:  And as such, you and I need to have a talk.

Stella:  Uh-oh.

Me:  Yep. Big uh-oh.

Stella:  Does this have something to do with the little human puppy who visited today?

Me:   Puppy, Stella?

Stella:  Oh, all right. Not a puppy.

Me:  That’s right.

Stella:  But she’s still like one, all small and cuddly.

Me:  Yep.

Stella:  We like her. She is exciting.

Me:  Yep. She finds you all exciting, too…a little too exciting in the noise department.

Stella:  Lady Human, whatever do you mean?

Me:  Loud, incessant barking when she shows up. Loud, incessant barking when she leaves.

Stella:  But we don’t want her to go.

Me:  When you were little, did you like loud barking?

Stella:  Sure. It let me know that my pack was alert and nearby and I was safe.

Me:  But you’re a dog.

Stella:  A bulldog, thank you very much.

Me:  Well, that little child is human, and barking is not one of our traditions.

Stella:  Does our barking mean that we are wicked?

Me:  No. It’s more like inappropriate behavior. It’s what we humans call ‘rude’.

Stella:  Rude. Yep, that sounds like us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Sneaky, Sneaky Humans – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human sneaked out of the house again today. We have no idea where she went.

Tiger:  Shhhh! She will hear us.

Wiggles:  Does she smell like beef?

Miss Sweetie:  I smell food.

Doodlebug:  Beef?

Miss Sweetie:  No, not good food.

Stella:  So, she went someplace that had bad human food.

Doodlebug:  What was it? I can’t get close enough to smell her clothes.

Stella:  Just sneak up behind her. Hey, she sneaked out on us, didn’t she?

Me:  Hey, stop that.

Doodlebug:  May I please sniff your pants?

Me:  No, sir. I don’t need bulldog nose boogers on my clothes, thank you.

Doodlebug:  What if I can sniff your clothes without leaving nose boogers?

Me:  That has never happened yet, so the answer is still ‘no’.

Tiger:  You sneaked out. You ate food. We stayed here. It was sad.

Me:  Every once in a while, I go out for a few hours. Today I went to a movie. I haven’t been to one in a long time.

Stella:  Poor us. Why couldn’t you just watch the silly Picture Box here? It has all those silly human movies on it.

Me:  This one is new, and I wanted to see it on a big screen.

Stella:   Like your Picture Box is not big enough. Those humans on that thing are big enough to eat my head. Wait. Can they eat my head?

Me:  No. They are just flat pictures. They can’t come out of the television.

Stella:  Are you sure?

Me:  Positive.

Stella:  I don’t know, Lady Human. Someone who would sneak away from her dogs simply to watch a giant Picture Box might not know what a little Picture Box is capable of. Don’t you feel guilty now?

Me:  Maybe a little.

Stella:  Enough to let me sniff your clothes?

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Bulldog Grass Trimmers – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human is spending too much time trimming down the wild grasses.

Me:  This has been a wet spring. When the weather dries out as summer comes on, the grasses will not grow so fast.

Tiger:  Lady Human, we have a plan.

Doodlebug:  We want to help you with the wild grasses.

Me:  Well, I saw out back where you all trampled some of it down before I even got a chance to cut it.  I still have to chop it up or it will snag our feet.

Miss Sweetie:  We can help you. Even without a long stick that makes an annoying noise.

Wiggles:  Yes. We can help. Our teeth will do the job. Grass eating is a specialty of ours.

Stella:  Let us help, Lady Human.

Me:  I know. I’ve seen you. Honestly, I don’t believe that you can trim all the wild grass as much as you would like to. While I appreciate the offer, but I expect I will still be using my grass trimmer.

Stella:  Suit yourself. We try to save you time. We try to save you money.

Miss Sweetie:  We try to eat your delicious grass. And then sometimes we throw it up.

Me:  Okay, thank you.

Stella:  Here we are…a bunch of bulldog grass trimmers. Some humans just don’t know when they’ve got a good deal.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

The Joys of the Cold, Wet Mud – Conversations with Stella and Miss Sweetie

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It has been cold, and the sky has been crying all day.

Me:  Yesterday set a record low for cold around here in May. Why isn’t Sweetie coming in? It’s all wet out there.

20170315_170602.jpgStella:  Sweetie likes water.

Me:  Baths and puppy pools, yeah, but she’s never been a fan of mud and rain. I’m going out to see what she’s up to. Sweetie!

Stella:  Look behind the chicken run.

Me:  Sweetie!

Miss Sweetie:  Over here, Lady Human!

Me:  Why are you just sitting there?

Miss Sweetie:  This is my special hiding place.

Me:  Sorry to say this, girl, but you aren’t hidden very well.

Miss Sweetie:  But these little trees are hiding me.

Me:  Not so much.

Miss Sweetie:  Awww. I just wanted some privacy.

Me:  Well, you can sit there if you want. Isn’t the ground pretty cold and wet though?

Miss Sweetie:  Mmmm. The way I like it.

Me:  Okay…well…enjoy it.

Miss Sweetie:  May I come back inside?

Me:  Sure. Whenever you’re ready.

Miss Sweetie:  I’M READY!

Me:  I thought you were enjoying…

Miss Sweetie:  Lady Human, do you enjoy sitting in cold mud?

Me:  No, I can’t say that I do.

Miss Sweetie: Why can’t you say?

Me:  That means I don’t.

Miss Sweetie:  It is an acquired habit.

Me:  How did you acquire it?

Miss Sweetie: By sitting in cold mud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Real Animals for a Real World – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am real.

Me:  Yep. You sure are. REAL real.

Stella:  I already said that, Lady Human. Now you are repeating me and yourself. As I was saying, I am real. A real live dog. But Lady Human has all sorts of fake animals sitting around. There are dogs and bears and a tiger and an elephant and even a frog…ewww.

Me:  Lots of variety.

Stella:  But you have real animals, like me and the pack and Pearl the Parakeet and Moon Cat and the chickens. What do you need with stuffed animals? A stuffed animal is not nearly as alive as a real one.

Me:  I know, but you can’t use a real animal as a pillow. At least not all the time.

Stella:  I use you as a pillow all the time.

Me:  True.

Stella:  You are nice and squishy.

Me:  Thank you. I think. The thing about stuffed animals for pillows is that they are cushy, and they don’t move around. And some of them are gifts from a long time ago and reminders.

Stella:  Aren’t we reminders?

Me:  Sure. Every day. But these things are reminders of what happened way before I ever met any of y’all. They remind me of who gave them to me and where they came from. Like that bear, for instance. It came from a little shop in Alexandria, Virginia many years ago. And Tall Man gave me that elephant one day when I was feeling a little down. How could I keep real elephants and bears in the house? And then there’s still the whole soft pillow issue.

Stella:  You can use me for a pillow, Lady Human.

Me:  Really?

Stella:  Sure. For about as long as it takes you to fall asleep.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

The Watch Chicken – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Evening has settled in. It is almost snacking, Picture Box-watching bedtime for me and Lady Human and… wait…what’s that infernal racket?

Me:  One of the chickens is squawking about something. Let me go see.

Stella:  Me, too! I’m in charge here. Hey, what’s all that noise? Be quiet!

Me:  There’s a loud rumbling from somewhere. Probably a big truck. Shhh. It’s okay. Settle down.

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Stella:  Why did she settle down when you said to? She ignored me. That’s just plain wrong.

Me:  They like it when I shush them. I guess they like the sound. It’ll be dark soon. They’ll go to sleep.

Stella: Is she like a guard dog, only she’s a watch chicken? How did that happen?

Me:  I don’t know. Loud noises can stir them up.

Stella:  Nope. Dogs watch and guard. Not chickens. What does she think she’s going to do? Chase off a dog or a human? I’d like to see that. Chickens chasing people.

Me:  It happens. Depends on how irritated the chicken is.

Stella:  I wouldn’t try it if I were her. No chicken is ever going to out irritate a bulldog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Smoked Beef Sundays – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I always know when it is Sunday.

Tiger:  Me, too. Lady Human comes home from church smelling like smoked beef.

Stella:  Hey, I was going to say that!

Miss Sweetie:  Me, too.

Doodlebug:  Me, too.

Wiggles:  I was going to say that she leaves early and comes back when our lunch is late.

Me:  I don’t come home that late on Sundays. I do usually go to lunch with someone.

Wiggles:  And you come back smelling like the place where you ate. Today, it was a smoked beef place.

Tiger:  I hope you brought some home for everyone.

Me:  No, I did not.

Tiger:  Typical.

Stella:  For shame, Lady Human! You lied to a dog! I saw the box in your hand.

Me:  I did not lie. I brought food home, but I did not bring it for everyone. I brought it for me.

Stella:  Typical. Who are these Sunday people who put temptation in our paths by going to beef houses? Now we will be thinking about smoked beef all day long.

Me:  You are making me start to feel badly…maybe I can…

Stella:  Yee hah! You will share your beef?

Me:  No, but you can sniff my clothes again if it will make you feel better.

Stella:  That’s not much…

Tiger:  But better than nothing.

Wiggles:  Quick, before the scent fades.

Doodlebug:  Mmmmm, my favorite!

Miss Sweetie:  Lady Human, never wash your clothes again.

Me:  I believe that would be a mistake long term.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Yard Zipper – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde Bulldogges. Lady Human is playing in the yard with her new toy and she is not sharing. So unfair.

Me:  Whew! Glad that’s done for another few days.

Stella:  Why couldn’t we play with you, Lady Human?

Me:  I wasn’t playing.

Stella:  Sure, you were. We heard your new toy zipping around the yard.

Me:  That’s not a toy. It’s my new grass and weed trimmer.

Stella:  It sounds fun. But you’re keeping all the fun to yourself.

Me:  It’s no toy. It’s a tool for cutting down weeds and tall grass in tight places.

Stella:  We can do that. Just let us have the toy. Or better yet, you use it and we’ll chase it.

Me:  I can’t even risk having you outside when I’m using it. You all are already too interested in it when it’s just sitting around doing nothing but cooling off. When it’s running, it could hit you or sling pebbles or sharp grass blades at you.

Stella:  So, it’s like a dodge ball game. Or a throw ball game. Cool!

Me:   Stella, you don’t like those games. When I try them, you run to the door to get inside.

Stella:  But that’s the point of the whole game! Just think how fast I can run with the yard zipper throwing stuff at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Game, My Rules – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:  Would Stella the Queen mind settling down when she is on my bed?

Stella:  Wait. I will ask her. Oh, that’s me. Would I mind settling down when I am on Lady Human’s bed? I would if I could, but I can’t.

Me:  Can’t? Or won’t?

Stella:  Same difference. I am a bulldog. I can’t do what I can’t do. I can’t do what I won’t do. And I won’t do what I can’t do.

Me:  That makes a strange amount of sense.

Stella:  Bulldog sense.

Me:  Does there have to be so much flipping around?

Stella:  This is a flipping game. Flipping games mean flipping. My game, my rules.

Me:  Why can’t we play one of my games?

Stella:  One of your games where we sit around and stare at each other.

Me:  Yeah, that sounds good.

Stella:  I will be blunt, Lady Human. Your games are boring. Now it’s your turn to flip.

Me:  I don’t flip very well.

Stella:  I know. That’s why I always win. Too late. You lost your turn. My turn to flip again because…

Me:  Let me guess. Your game, your rules.

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Wiggles on the Loose! – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Help! Oh, me! Oh, my! Wiggles knocked a gate aside and squeezed through a gap in our invincible fence.

Me:  I hear her barking outside! I’m going after her!

Stella:  What if she gets in the road? What if a monstrous rolling box runs over her? What if…what if…what if we never see her again?

Miss Sweetie:  Wiggles is smarter than I am. I was outside, too. I didn’t leave the yard. Wiggles must have had a good reason for walking into the unknown land.

Me:  We’re back!

Stella:  Wiggles! Where did you go?

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Me:  I found her standing on the front porch, facing the front door, waiting to be let back into the house.

Stella:  Why ever did you squeeze out of the fence?

Wiggles:  I wanted adventure.

Doodlebug:  But you came right back.

Wiggles:  I had enough adventure. And I remembered. My food is in here.

Tiger:  She will try it again, Lady Human. She’s just that kind.

Me:  And you aren’t?

Tiger:  I know where I am well off.

Me:  I’m going outside…alone…to work on the fence. No more adventures.

Stella:  All right, tell me, Wiggles. What happened out there? Why did you come right back?

Wiggles:  I heard something. I think it was Lady Human. She was talking to the Great Creator. I had to go to the door and bark.

Stella:  How could you hear her? She was inside. Until we heard you bark from outside, she didn’t even know that you were gone.

Wiggles:  But He did.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Great Dog Food Disaster – Official Pack Meeting – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Pack meeting is hereby called to order.

Tiger:  How did this food disaster come about?

Doodlebug:  Didn’t you like the softy food we’ve been getting the last few days?

Tiger:  It makes my stomach feel bad. I love it.

Miss Sweetie:  I love it. Bring on some more.

Wiggles:  Didn’t it make you feel bad?

Miss Sweetie:  Yes.

Wiggles:  And you still want to eat it?

Miss Sweetie:  Sure. Watch the humans. They eat stuff that makes them feel bad and they still want it. Humans are always right.

Stella:  Objection! Humans are not always right. Lady Human said so. Lady Human is always right.

Me:  I wish that were so, Stella girl.

Stella:  This is a pack meeting. Lady Human, are you a member of the pack? Because you don’t look like a bulldog.

Me:  Sorry.

Tiger:  But how did this food disaster come about? We had our good food and then there was hardly any of it left and the softy food got added and we kept waiting and our food was hard to find, and the softy food was wonderful and then we started feeling not so well and…

Stella:  Yes, Lady Human, how did the food shortage disaster occur?

Me:  Wait. Am I a member of the pack now?

Stella:  Consult! (whisper…whisper…whisper) No.

Me:  Then I don’t have to answer any of your questions.

Stella:  Okay. Hold on. Consult! (whisper…whisper…whisper) All right. You are a pack member…sort of. How did the food shortage disaster occur?

Me:  I dispute the use of the word ‘disaster’.

Miss Sweetie:  What does ‘dispute’ mean?

Stella:  She argues against it.

Tiger:  Hey, she is a bulldog pack member.

Stella:  It was a disaster for our stomachs.

Wiggles:  I still think that the softy food was delicious. Given the choice, I would do it all again.

Me:  It is a very good brand. You haven’t had trouble with it before when I have used it in small amounts because I had to hide medicine…okay, too much information.

Doodlebug:  You hid medicine in delicious food?

Me:  Well, yeah.

Doodlebug:  Can I have some hidden medicine now?

Me:  I guess your stomachs just can’t handle it in a bigger amount. But the problem is resolved.

Stella:  The disaster, you mean.

Me:  We have plenty of your yellow bag food for the next couple of weeks. By then, I can talk to the people who make it. They can tell me more places to get it if we need to.

Tiger:  Okay.

Wiggles:  Good deal.

Doodlebug:  Fair enough.

Miss Sweetie:  Mmmmm. Food.

Stella:  A likely story. Pack meeting adjourned…until the next food disaster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

The Great Dog Food Hunt – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Today is the day – the day that our dog food will be back. They promised. We have had to stretch our rations with another dog food…wonderful, softy food, but honestly, though it tastes great, it has been making us feel weird. But today is the day.

Me:  Do you already have the yellow bags of Victor’s now?

Stella:  Lady Human is polite when she speaks to humans on the black box she holds in her hands all the time. I don’t know why.

Me:  No? Tomorrow. Thursday. Okay. Thank you.

Stella:  Here comes the food! Here comes the food!

Me:  No. They don’t expect theirs to arrive until tomorrow. Thursday.

Stella:  Un-uh! They said Wednesday. I was standing right there when they said it. Whatever a Wednesday is, it happens today.

Me:  The weather may have caused a delay. I’ll make some calls.

Stella:  Shhh! Don’t tell the others. They may throw a food riot.

Me:  They won’t riot. They love the softy food. I just think it is not the best long term for you. Hello, I was checking to see if you have any Victor dog food in the yellow bags…Okay, I see. Thank you for your help. They have some Victor’s, but not the yellow bag stuff y’all are used to. More people must be buying it up.

Stella:  What? Woe is me! Woe is us! Whatever shall we do? Woe! Ah-ooooo!

Me:  Stella! No howling, please! I’ll check with Tall Man. He may know another place.

Stella:  Why me? Why, oh why?

Me:  Okay, he said to check back with our regular place. I did and they have some other varieties of your dog food. So, I’m going there right now. I’ll be back before lunch.

Stella:  Woe! Woe! Woe! Why? Why? Why? Lady Human told me that those big monstrous rolling boxes on the big road carried our food. Where did they take it? Are they eating it themselves? Did they feed it to their dogs? To their cats? To their horses? Time passes slowly when you are thinking about food…Nap. Dream. Food…

Me:  Here it is! I got it! Perfect timing. The semi-truck got there just before I did. It was a surprise to the feed store people, too.

Stella:  A surprise? Why should they be surprised? It’s Wednesday, isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bluebonnet Jaunt – The Road Home – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:  Jiggety, joggety, all the way home.

Stella:  Is Jiggety Joggety where we live?

Me:  No. It’s an old children’s rhyme. But we are on the way home. And we are going to stop by the feed store on the way to save some time, to go ahead and pick up dog food which I would have to do in a few days anyway.

Stella:  Food? Our food?

Me:  Yep. We’re going by near there anyhow so…

Stella:  Food! Food! Food! I’ve been there before.

Me:  No. That was the other place. It got sold.

Stella:  Wait. Are they building a fast meat place there, too?

Me:  I don’t think so. But you never know nowadays.

Stella:  Is this it? Is this it? Oh, so fun!

Me:  Yes. Come on. You can go inside here. Hey, I need to get two 50-pound bags of the Victor yellow.

Voice in the Feed Store:  Sorry. We are out of the yellow Victor. We will have it back in on Wednesday.

Me:  Okay. Wednesday. Okay.

Stella:  Where is the food? Bring on the food.

Me:  They ran out. There will be more on Wednesday.

Stella:  What? No food? How could this happen? How could you let this happen?

Me:  I don’t order it. They’ve never run out before. We’ll just have to make do and stretch what we have let until…Wednesday. I can add some softy food.

Stella:  Worst day ever! We are going to starve!

Me:  No, no, we’ll make do.

Stella:  I have an idea.

Me:  Oh, great.

Stella:  Turn around and go back to the barbecue place. Buy up all their barbecue and we will eat that until we get our regular food on Wednesday. Yay! Everybody wins. Yay, barbecue! What a wonderful world! Best day ever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

The Bluebonnet Jaunt Part 2 1/2 – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human drove her rolling box to a place, once a special place but no more. The flowers that she calls ‘bluebonnets’ are gone from here and now she looks down. I wish we had never come.

Me:  No, I’m glad we came. I kept thinking about this place. I stopped here with one of my daughters and enjoyed the bluebonnets a few years back. But sometimes things change.

Stella:  Why?

Me:  I guess someone sold the land or leased it out to a fast food chain. The bluebonnets had to go when the burger restaurant came. So did the old building that looked like a spaceship. It had been here for decades. Now it’s all pavement.

Stella:  And meat. Wonderful, wonderful meat.

Me:  Yeah, I guess that would mean more to bulldogs.

Stella:  Lady Human, be very quiet. There is a large cow with long horns standing over there. A big, big cow that is white and blue and pink and yellow.

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Me:  Oh, that’s not a real longhorn. That’s a statue.

Stella:  Why would a human make a statue of a longhorn?

Me:  Texans make statues of lots of things, even animals, like longhorns and horses and…

Stella:  Bulldogs?

Me:  Not that I’m aware of. Not yet anyway. Somebody will probably get around to it one of these days.

Stella:  A statue of a cow, but no bluebonnets. Will the bluebonnets come back?

Me:  Maybe.

Stella:  If they do, will the longhorn cow eat them?

Me:  Uh. No. Statues don’t eat.

Stella:  Good. That will give the bluebonnets a fighting chance. Lady Human, are you sad?

Me:  Not sad. Just a little disappointed. But it’s not so bad. After all, I’m here with you and that’s pretty special.

Stella:  I like being here with you, too. And I like being surrounded by meat.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Bluebonnet Jaunt Part 2 – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am in a rolling box. I think we are going to see the lady in the white coat, the one Lady Human calls ‘vet’.

Me:  No, we are not going to the vet.

Stella:  Now I am really confused.

Me:  As I told you, we are going on a jaunt, a short trip, to see bluebonnets. Flowers that bloom wild in the spring. And no, you may not eat them.

Stella:  We are not alone. Look at all these rolling boxes Look at those monstrous rolling boxes.

Me:  Semi-trucks.

Stella:  Yay! We are all going to look at bluebonnets.

Me:  No, most of these other people are going different places.

Stella:  Then why are they going along with us? The big rolling boxes are scary.

Me:  They are carrying things we all need. Like your food.

Stella:  In that case, they can stay on the road with us. Look! There are flowers!

Me:  Yes, pink, yellow, purple, orange.

Stella:  Where are our bluebonnets?

Me:  Just up ahead. We are coming up on the exit now.

Stella:  This is a great place, Lady Human. I smell meat. Wonderful.

Me:  Yes, there’s a barbecue place right over here where we will park and… What?

Stella:  What?

Me:  It’s gone. It’s all gone.

Stella:  The barbecue meat? Gone? Horrible! Horrible!

Me:  No, the barbecue is still here.

Stella:  Oh, you had me scared there for a minute.

Me:  I mean the bluebonnets are gone. All gone. And in their place…

Stella:  What?

Me:  A new fast food hamburger place.

Stella:  With meat? Wonderful! What a great jaunt this is! Let’s do this all the time!

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Bluebonnet Jaunt Part 1 – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where are we going? Where are we going? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Times a’wastin’!

Tiger:  Me, too! I have a harness!

Me:  Sorry, girl. This one is just going to be me and Stella. That’s about all I can handle today. Next time… if you are able to behave around other dogs.

Tiger:  Awww.

Me:  Now let me finish getting ready. We’ll leave in a few minutes. Here. Let’s get your safety harness on. Stella. Stella!

Tall Man:  Let me help.

Me:  She is truly excited.

Stella:  We’re going! Wait! Where are we going?

Me:  We are going to a bluebonnet spot that I know about. The bluebonnets should be in full bloom. They peak around San Jacinto Day.

Stella:  Why?

Me:  I don’t know. Maybe in honor of San Jacinto Day.

Stella:  Let’s go! Let’s go!

Me:  I’ll make sure we have what we need. It’s not that far away.

Miss Sweetie:  I think we should go, too.

Doodlebug:  There is not enough room in her rolling box for all of us.

Wiggles:  I will take a nap.

Tiger:  What are bluebonnets? Can we eat them?

Stella:  Ah-ooooo! Ah-ooooo! Ah-ooooooooo!

Me:  What’s going on? Stella! Is that you howling?

Stella:  Ah-ooooo! You put my harness on. Once you do that, you have to take me wherever you are going.

Me:  We are going now. Come on. Here’s the leash.

Stella:  Come on. Hurry! Before somebody else eats all the bluebonnets.

Me:  Eats?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Is A Throne and Where Is Mine? – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. The cat acts as though she is the queen, but she isn’t. I have told her that any number of times. Still, she doesn’t listen. Like right now. She is sitting on one of the humans’ big chairs and sticking her snooty nose in the air.

Me:  I guess that chair is her version of a throne. She does look regal.

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Stella:  Throne? Regal? Where is my dictionary?

Me:  You haven’t finished it. Throne means a chair that a king or queen sits on. Regal means royal , like a king or queen.

Stella:  The cat? Our Moon Cat? A queen’s chair? Regal? What’s she playing at?

Me:  She’s just being herself. And the chair is not a new thing. She sleeps on them all the time at night. You all don’t notice because you are already asleep yourselves.

Stella:  It’s not fair. Not fair at all. If that’s a throne and thrones are for queens, just you watch me sit on it. I’ll just…jump…climb…here I come…hold still, you silly throne! One more try! Hey, let me up there, dumb chair! I am your queen!

Me:  Sorry. The chair does not seem to be cooperating. It must not be a royalist.

Stella:  Sweetie can jump up on chairs and couches and pianos. Why can’t I?

Me:  Sweetie is taller than you are. And younger.

Stella:  Lady Human! How rude!

Me:  We’re dealing with facts here, girl.

Stella:  Here’s a fact. I need a throne. You are going to find me one. That is an order.

Me:  I’ll look around.

Stella:  Really look this time. Not like when you said you would find me a crown. And where is my crown? My head is still naked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.