Bulldog Poetry in the Dark – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:        I am a little fuzzy on the whole queen thing. Can you give the bulldogs commands? Will they mind you?

Stella:    Can I? I can. Do I? All the time. Will they mind? Quien sabe? Did you notice that? I answered in Spanish. I am a bilingual dog! Yay me!

Me:        If you say so.

Stella:    I know you, Lady Human. You would not be bringing this question up if there were not something you want me to order the bulldogs to do.

Me:        Yes. PLEASE, no more extended barking during the dark.

Stella:    Who was doing that?

Me:        You know who.

Stella:    Was it me?

Me:        No. Wait. Wouldn’t you know if you were barking?

Stella:    Not if I were in the middle of one of my wonderful Flying Stella squirrel chasing dreams. Wonderful. Flying. Me.

Me:        No, it was not you. It was Miss Sweetie. It was 5 a.m., really 4 a.m. if you don’t go by Daylight Savings Time, also known as Fake Time. Not a sunray in sight and she was popping off and nothing was wrong. It was pitch dark and I was trying to sleep.

20170315_170602.jpg

Stella:    Of course, nothing was wrong. And that was not barking.

Me:        You could’ve fooled me.

Stella:    We often do, Lady Human. You notice that no one else joined in.

Me:        So, she was not barking even though it sounded just like barking.

Stella:    It was Bulldog Poetry. Sweetie is a Bulldog Poet like me.

Me:        What was she saying?

Stella:    Oh, I don’t know. It was pitch dark and I was trying to sleep.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Watch Where You’re Walking; It’s a Jungle Out There – Conversations with Stella

Stella:    Lady Human, why are you lying on the ground? It is dirty. And why is red stuff dripping from your nose? And why are you carrying that silly little light in your hand?

Me:        I was out here with a flashlight, looking for Doodlebug in the dark. I called and called and he didn’t come. Then I tripped over a fallen branch and hit my nose on the ground. How’s that for a story?

Stella:    That’s a stupid story. It has no point.

Me:        I think the point is to watch where you’re walking, especially in the dark. And carry a big flashlight.

Stella:    I hear Doodlebug. He’s chewing on something behind the chicken run.

Me:        Uhhh. You know what he said when I fell. “Hmph. Hmph.” Literally. That’s all he said.

Stella:    That’s what I would have said.

Me:        He hasn’t even come over to check on me.

Stella:    Well, you are a human. You have great big human power. But get up! You look like Wiggles does when she’s been rolling around in the dirt. Long, round, and lazy. Like a hot dog. By the way, do you have a hot dog on you?

Me:        Why would I have a hot dog on me when I was out here looking for Doodlebug in the dark?

Stella:    I don’t know. A barbecue could’ve broken out. Do I need to drag you back into the house, bulldog style?

Me:        No, I’ll be all right once I stop my bloody nose. I don’t think you could pull me in by yourself anyway.

Stella:    How insulting! You have no idea what I can do in an emergency.

Me:        You can do one thing for me. You can pull Doodlebug inside for me.

Stella:    Sure thing, Lady Human. I just need a little incentive. You wouldn’t happen to have a hot dog on you, would you?

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.