When in Doubt, Snort It Out! – Conversations with Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, my nose tickles. I think something is alive in there.

Me: Your nose is alive. It’s part of you. Let me see.

Doodlebug: Be careful, ma’am. Don’t get too…

Sweetie: Snort. Snort. Choo!

Doodlebug:  …close. What is that?

Me: Looks like a little piece of a stick. Well, better out than in, as a friend of mine always says.

Sweetie: Do humans snort things out, too?

MoonCat: Not nearly as well as bulldogs.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Nasal Overwhelm – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Achoo! Snort snort! What is that awful smell?

Sweetie: Lady Human, you are responsible for this mismanagement of our air!

Me: I just spritzed a very small amount of an old cologne I had. I did it completely away from the parakeets to see if it was any good…

Doodlebug: Oh, protect the budgies, but not the bulldogs. Is that it? Our precious noses are millions of times more sensitive than yours!

Me: I’m opening a window to let it out.

Sweetie: And now the world will never be the same.

MoonCat: That window opening option might work on other objectionable odors, say the kind spritzed from bulldogs.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cold Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human?

Me: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Something is cold.

Sweetie: How did you guess? My nose is cold. So is Doodlebug’s. Warm them up.

Me: You mean like with a sweater or a boot? That wouldn’t really work, would it? How about sticking them under your paws?

Sweetie: Cold noses under cold paws? Really?

MoonCat: How about under a blanket? Unless bulldog noses are just too stubborn and refuse to stay warm.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noses in the Air – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why are you pointing your nose toward the sky?

Me: I smell a slight scent on the air.

Doodlebug: Let me try. Mmmm, nope. Nothing.

Sweetie: Me neither. You smell it because you’re so tall.

Doodlebug: Let us climb on your shoulders so we can smell it, too.

Me: 160 pounds of bulldog. Not gonna happen.

MoonCat: Cats have advantages over bulldogs. We climb heights to thrust our noses in the air. No human boosters required.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Blessing of Big Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Oooo, smell that, Lady Human.

Me: Smell what? I don’t smell anything.

Sweetie: You need a bigger nose.

Me: My nose is plenty big.

Sweetie: Can you smell the chicken poop outside right now?

Me: Thankfully, no.

Doodlebug: A big nose like ours would solve that problem.

MoonCat: That’s a problem? I’ll stick with my little nose, thank you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Twitching of Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s going on, y’all?

Sweetie: You tell us. You’re the human in the room.

Me: Your noses are twitching to beat the band.

Doodlebug: What is a band and why would I want to beat it?

Me: I mean you are obviously scenting something and, poor inadequate nose that I have, I don’t smell a thing out of the ordinary.

Sweetie: Someone is cooking outside.

Doodlebug: A human is walking with a dog nearby.

Sweetie: The chickens have laid their eggs.

Doodlebug: You have put on clean clothes.

MoonCat: Yes, I particularly noticed that last one. Thank you so much.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Do You Smell? Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, just how weak is your nose? Can you smell what I’m thinking?

Me: Uh…no. Sometimes I can look at you and tell what you are thinking. Like when you are side glancing at your empty food bowl.

Doodlebug: Seeing is fine. Smelling is so much better.

Sweetie: Yeah, smelling can tell you things eyes never can, like whether or not someone is likeable or trustworthy or kind. Or interesting.

MoonCat: Or if they have treats in their pocket. Admit it, bulldogs. That’s what’s really interesting to you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noses Are for Scenting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you have a very limited notion of what bulldogs’ noses are good for.

Me: They’re not good stick holders. I know that.

Sweetie: But they scent a whole bunch more than human noses can. Like ka-billions and ka-billions times more.

Me: I don’t know what a “ka-billion” is, but yes, a whole lot more than humans.

Doodlebug: It was all part of the Great Creator’s plan.

Sweetie: Yes, He wanted us to rule the world with our noses.

Me: No, I’m for sure and certain it wasn’t for that.

MoonCat: In the great list of superpowers, I don’t see bulldog noses even near the top of the list.

©️ 2025.H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noses Are For Breathing – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, what is sticking out of your nose?

Sweetie: I don’t know. A stick?

Me: Hold still. Yuck. How did that get in there?

Sweetie: I don’t know. Someone put it there.

Me: Yes. Someone named Sweetie. We do not pick up sticks with our noses.

Sweetie: It was just a little one. Now you’re blaming me for having a stick in my own nose. How rude!

Me: Noses are for breathing. Not for jamming things into. Take it easy when you go nasal exploring.

Sweetie: I’ll consider it.

MoonCat: Too little, too late.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Ask a Bloodhound – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s that smell?

Sweetie: What smell? I don’t smell a smell.

MoonCat: Don’t ask a bulldog, Lady Human. Their noses are stunted.

Me: If I can smell that, surely a dog can.

Doodlebug: Are you insulting our nasal capabilities?

Sweetie: How rude!

Me: Forgive me. I’ll just go ask a bloodhound for an opinion, shall I? If I can find one.

Sweetie: We can’t help it that you sniff better than we do.

Doodlebug: Yeah, we are simple bulldogs. Not everybody can have a big ole long pointy nose like yours, ma’am.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.