Unfair Food Distribution – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. What good is it to be queen if you don’t get the same special treats as everyone else? I went outside for a few minutes and what did I find when I came back in? Lip smacking and lip licking and the delicious aroma of special food. I protest! I protest a whole bunch! Is there another word for that, Lady Human?

Me:  Vehemently.

Stella:  Yes, well…that’s what I am doing! Whatever it is that you said.

Me:  Not everybody got a spoonful of special food.

Doodlebug:  I didn’t.

Me:  Yeah, you see there, Stella. Doodlebug didn’t.

Tiger:  I did! It was delicious!

Wiggles:  Me, too! Mmmmm!

Miss Sweetie:  I woke up from my nap just to enjoy it. And now that I have, good night.

Stella:  Unfair! Why were Doodlebug and I left out? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Me:  Calm down.

Stella:  Why? Why? Why…

Me:  It was not just food. Get it?

Stella:  Food is always food.

Me:  But this had something else. Understand?

Stella:  I understand that we were cheated.

Me:  Okay, okay. I hid their allergy medicine in the food. You and Doodlebug aren’t on the medicine, so I am saving the special food just to get them to take their medicine without balking.

Tiger:  What?

Wiggles:  Yuck!

Miss Sweetie:  No biggie. Good night.

Tiger:  I can’t believe you tricked us.

Stella:  Well, in that case, all is forgiven, Lady Human.

Wiggles:  Yuck! Double yuck! So, when is our next dose?

Doodlebug:  Yeah, and can I get in on that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Humans and Scratching Sticks – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what are you looking for? Stop that and sit down. I need to be scratched and petted as is my due.

Me:  Just a minute. I am searching for one of my pens. I thought I put it over here, but…say, you haven’t seen it, have you?

Stella:  Your scratching stick. Of course, I have. You have so many of them. I see them everywhere.

Me:  Well, this one has a clear barrel and clicks, and I had it right here…you haven’t been chewing on it, have you?

Stella:  Lady Human, I have good taste. I never chew on barrels that click. They have no flavor at all. They don’t even smell good. Why do humans like scratching sticks? All you do is make mysterious marks with them. When I have a good scratching stick, I like to scratch myself with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

The Cheese Test – Conversations with Stella and Wiggles

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Cheese, please.

Me:  I’ll get you a piece in a bit. This one is for Wiggles. You’re a good girl.

Stella:  I know. I am a good girl.

Me:  Yes, but I wanted Wiggles to know that she is, too.

Stella:  Awww.

Wiggles:  Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.

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Me:  Here you go.

Wiggles:  Where is it?

Me:  It’s there. It fell in the tuck of your blanket.

Wiggles:  Where?

Me:  Right there. Use your nose. Figure it out. Like a puzzle.

Wiggles:  I don’t want a puzzle. I want cheese.

Me:  Sniff it out.

Wiggles:  Awww. Bulldog noses are…Hold on. Something is there. Here! Cheese!

Me:  Good for you! Great problem solving.

Wiggles:  Next time, can I please just have the cheese without the problem?

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

The Challenge of Dining Al Fresco – Conversations with Stella and Tiger

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why is Tiger eating outside?

Me:  It is a nice day and she’s been a little restless lately. I thought it might be a welcome change. Humans call it dining al fresco.

Stella:  Who is Al Fresco? Is he bringing food now?

Me:  No, it just means eating outside.

Stella:  Tiger looks puzzled. Something is wrong with her dish.

Me:  Oh, she knocked it off the step. Hold on.

Tiger:  Lady Human, something happened. I don’t know what.

Me:  Your bowl tilted. That’s all. Look. There’s still food in it.

Tiger:  I can’t eat it like that. It’s all weird. The ground threw it down. It didn’t want to hold it straight. I think eating outside is a bad idea. My dish never acts this way in the house.

Me:  The dish is set right now. Look at all that food.

Tiger:  It’s good, but it would be better inside. Eating outside is for animals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Snacking – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Tiger:  Ask her!

Wiggles:  Yeah, hurry! Before it’s all gone! You know how much humans eat!

Me:  What are y’all stomping around about?

Miss Sweetie:  What’s in your hand.

Doodlebug:  Yeah, we want that.

Me:  Okay, it has been a food-intensive weekend, but we are not going to just keep snacking and snacking and snacking…

Stella:  But you do.

Me:  Well, maybe, a little.

Stella:  We eat three meals a day. You used to eat three meals a day. Until that special food day. Now you have some food in your hand every time I turn around. Watch. I’ll do it now. I turn around, and, BOOM, there is more food in your hand.

Me:  I don’t want any of it to go to waste.

Stella:  Oh, Lady Human, that’s what we’re here for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.