I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what are you looking for? Stop that and sit down. I need to be scratched and petted as is my due.
Me: Just a minute. I am searching for one of my pens. I thought I put it over here, but…say, you haven’t seen it, have you?
Stella: Your scratching stick. Of course, I have. You have so many of them. I see them everywhere.
Me: Well, this one has a clear barrel and clicks, and I had it right here…you haven’t been chewing on it, have you?
Stella: Lady Human, I have good taste. I never chew on barrels that click. They have no flavor at all. They don’t even smell good. Why do humans like scratching sticks? All you do is make mysterious marks with them. When I have a good scratching stick, I like to scratch myself with it.
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Bulldoggy 