I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I try to keep order within the pack, but that does not always work. Wiggles! Out of the trash. You know the humans don’t like that!
Me: The humans don’t like trash diving, not just because it is messy, and we have to clean it up, but because it is dangerous for you, Wiggles. You may swallow something that can get stuck down in your insides and make you really sick.
Wiggles: I don’t mind.
Me: I mind.
Wiggles: But I do that for fun. Don’t humans do things just because they are fun things to do?
Me: Sure. We have all kinds of hobbies.
Wiggles: Trash diving is my hobby.
Me: For you, trash diving is dangerous.
Wiggles: Don’t humans have dangerous hobbies?
Tiger: Like what? Like what? I want to do a dangerous human hobby. I don’t have any hobbies.
Doodlebug: Your hobby is scratching your rear end.
Tiger: Hush, Doodle! We don’t talk about that!
Doodlebug: Don’t you enjoy doing that?
Doodlebug: Didn’t Lady Human say that hobbies are things done just for fun?
Tiger: Itchy rear ends are NOT fun. But… I do enjoy the scratching…but that is not a hobby.
Miss Sweetie: Stop interrupting, Doodle! Tell us, what is a dangerous human hobby, Lady Human?
Me: Oh, mountain climbing can be, like climbing Mt. Everest, for example.
Miss Sweetie: I want to climb Mt. Everest. What is Mt. Everest?
Me: Sorry, honey, that’s not going to happen. Pick another hobby. Something you already do and enjoy.
Miss Sweetie: Oh, oh! Swimming. I love to swim in my puppy pool.
Me: That’s a great one, though you may want to choose a different one for cold weather.
Stella: Oh, I know mine! I enjoy sitting on your bed, Lady Human, and having you scratch and massage and pet me and talk to me. I could do that all day, every day.
Me: Good one!
Tiger: Okay, I have one. I enjoy gnawing a good, tough chew toy. I really feel better after I have done that.
Me: That’s another excellent hobby for a bulldog.
Wiggles: Mine is trash diving.
Me: No, Wiggles, we need to work on yours. How about when you dive into the rag box and take a long nap? You enjoy that.
Wiggles: Yes, but napping is not a hobby. It is a way of life.
Me: Okay, well, we’ll work on that. What about you, Doodlebug?
Doodlebug: I enjoy wandering all over the yard and searching out a nice, fresh pile of…
Doodlebug: But I do enjoy eating a nice, fresh, overlooked pile of…
Me: Nope. Not acceptable. Not a hobby.
Doodlebug: I enjoy the hunt. I enjoy the find. How is that not a hobby?
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