New Neighbors – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am special. I have a unique place right in front of the Picture Box where I can watch all the silly things the humans watch. I am the center of attention. I can see everything that goes on while I am comfortably laying in my bed. I have my toys, my food, my water, my ceiling fan…

Me:        Actually, that ceiling fan is for everyone.

Stella:    So you say. Something horrible happened today.

Me:        Nothing horrible happened. There was a change, but nothing horrible.

Stella:    I am a bulldog. I hate change.

Me:        Most people do, too.

Stella:    Go ahead, Lady Human. Tell the other humans what you did today.

Me:        I moved Wiggles’ and Miss Sweetie’s beds next to yours.

Stella:    Aaaaggghh! You destroyed my special place!

Me:        How? Their beds were not that far away, always within eye shot. I just moved them away from the air conditioner. They were right under it and their shedding and dander were causing a problem with the unit, putting more pressure on it. The outside temperature was 100 degrees today. It is more important that the air conditioner keeps running efficiently for everyone’s sake. So moving them by you will help the AC and everyone benefits.

Stella:    Everyone except me!

Me:        Everyone including you. Tell me, do you enjoy the cooler air that the AC brings?

Stella:    The cold air box? Yeah, sure. It’s great!

Me:        Would you want it to work so hard that it breaks?

Stella:    NO! Don’t let that happen!

Me:        By God’s grace, it won’t. But we need to be sensible. The coils have to work harder if bulldog dander covers them. With Wiggles and Miss Sweetie sleeping over by you, that’s less stress on the machine. Good for everyone, including good ole Stella.

Stella:    Ohhh! I do like the cold air box.

Me:        And you can still watch the Picture Box. They are not in the way. They may even start watching it with you.

Stella:    I don’t like new neighbors. You tell them that they had better behave themselves.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creatures of Habit – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Tick tock. Tick tock. I’m a clock. I’m a clock. What’s the hold up? LADY HUMAN! BREAKFAST TIME! Move it! Move it! Move it!

Me:        What is the problem? I’m coming!

Stella:    You are late!

Me:        No, I’m not.

Stella:    That’s not what my stomach clock says. It says you should have been here three minutes ago. Wait! What are you doing?

Me:        Passing out breakfast.

Snoopey:   You are doing it out of order. Me first. I am the pack leader.

Me:        No, Wiggles and Sweetie first because…you know. Sweetie has a tight bathroom schedule.

Tiger:     Typical. Poor ole Tiger. Never first.

Me:        Yeah, but you get that special food supplement right before bedtime.

Stella:    Which reminds me, where is our food supplement?

Doodlebug:   I’m next. First Wiggles, then Sweetie, then Snoopey, then Stella, then me, then Tiger.

Snoopey:   Hey, just a minute. Why is mine in my bowl?

Me:        Oh, sorry. I forgot.

Stella:   Why does Snoopey get special treatment?

Me:        Snoopey always tumps her bowl over, so I started doing it for her. She likes it that way.

Stella:    If I want to make a mess on purpose, I guess that will be all right, too.

Me:        Do you want your food tumped?

Stella:    Eat off the floor? No, of course not! Disgusting!

Snoopey:   Why should my big old bulldog mouth be confined to a bowl? The floor is freedom.

Me:        All right. Is everybody satisfied now?

Miss Sweetie:   Potty.

Me:        Oh! Come with me, Sweetie! Hurry! I almost forgot.

Stella:    She would have reminded you. A little too late. Never delay a creature of habit.

Me:   I could stand a little more flexibility from y’all.

Stella:    Flexibility. Pffft, Lady Human. You forget with whom you are dealing.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

We’ve Run Out of What??? No!!! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen Illustrious of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am herewith issuing a red alert. Breakfast was delayed this morning by almost half an hour and, when it did come, it was different.

Me:        No red alert is necessary, girl…excuse me, Your Majesty. We ran out of your regular food and so did the store.

Stella:    What??? That cannot be!!! How did you let this happen, Lady Human? How did the other humans let this happen? Call everyone! Call the police! Call the army! HELP!

Me:        Remember when the store ran out of your favorite treats? Everyone survived.

Stella:    It was so hard though.

Me:        The man at the store said that they will have your regular food in by lunchtime tomorrow.

Stella:    No!!!! Too late!!!!

Me:        Was your old food brand so terrible this morning?

Stella:    It was different. We don’t like different. Never let this happen again!

Me:        I’m not sure that I can guarantee that.

Stella:    Why not? You are human. You can do anything.

Me:        Mmmm. Not so much.

Stella:    You are scaring me, Lady Human.

Me:        Nothing is too hard for the LORD. Humans have limitations and, to be honest, I am glad. There are quite a few humans that I would not want to have unlimited power. In fact, there aren’t any humans that I would want to have unlimited power. Including me.

Stella:    Aaaaggghhh! How does that solve our food problem?

Me:        Your problem will be solved by tomorrow. If we have to go further and search harder for your food or if we even have to make it ourselves, we will. Did you go hungry today?

Stella:    Well, no, not really, though I am always willing to take a little more.

Me:        You see? No genuine problem.

Stella:    Still it bothers me to know that you do not have unlimited powers.

Me:        Really? It is a great comfort to me.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.