I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Tick tock. Tick tock. I’m a clock. I’m a clock. What’s the hold up? LADY HUMAN! BREAKFAST TIME! Move it! Move it! Move it!
Me: What is the problem? I’m coming!
Stella: You are late!
Me: No, I’m not.
Stella: That’s not what my stomach clock says. It says you should have been here three minutes ago. Wait! What are you doing?
Me: Passing out breakfast.
Snoopey: You are doing it out of order. Me first. I am the pack leader.
Me: No, Wiggles and Sweetie first because…you know. Sweetie has a tight bathroom schedule.
Tiger: Typical. Poor ole Tiger. Never first.
Me: Yeah, but you get that special food supplement right before bedtime.
Stella: Which reminds me, where is our food supplement?
Doodlebug: I’m next. First Wiggles, then Sweetie, then Snoopey, then Stella, then me, then Tiger.
Snoopey: Hey, just a minute. Why is mine in my bowl?
Me: Oh, sorry. I forgot.
Stella: Why does Snoopey get special treatment?
Me: Snoopey always tumps her bowl over, so I started doing it for her. She likes it that way.
Stella: If I want to make a mess on purpose, I guess that will be all right, too.
Me: Do you want your food tumped?
Stella: Eat off the floor? No, of course not! Disgusting!
Snoopey: Why should my big old bulldog mouth be confined to a bowl? The floor is freedom.
Me: All right. Is everybody satisfied now?
Miss Sweetie: Potty.
Me: Oh! Come with me, Sweetie! Hurry! I almost forgot.
Stella: She would have reminded you. A little too late. Never delay a creature of habit.
Me: I could stand a little more flexibility from y’all.
Stella: Flexibility. Pffft, Lady Human. You forget with whom you are dealing.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.