Hammering vs. Barking – Who Will Win? – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Wait! What’s that? Quick! EVERYBODY, BARK!

Tiger:   I’m in!

Wiggles:   Me, too!

Me:   It’s no big deal. It’s just hammering.

Doodlebug:   I heard it first! I just didn’t say anything.

Miss Sweetie:  Me, too! I think. What is ‘hammering’?

Me:        It’s that banging noise coming from the back of the house.

Stella:   Keep barking! We will drown it out!

Tiger:    Maybe we should charge it. Then we can stop it.

Me:        No, no charging. Tall Man is building something.

Wiggles:   Something for me?

Stella:    No, if he’s building anything for anybody, he is building it for me. I am the Queen. So, what is he building for me?

Me:        Sorry, girl, it’s not for you.

Stella:    Oh, it’s for that tiny little human puppy who visits, isn’t it? That all right. I understand. Not really, but that’s what I say when I am disappointed or left out of something.

Me:        He’s putting together a little carriage for her to ride in.

Doodlebug:   Is a carriage like your rolling box? Can I ride in it?

Me:        No, it has no motor like mine does and I think he is going to save this carriage just for her.

Miss Sweetie:   No rides for us? Awww.

Stella:    That settles it! EVERYBODY, BARK! Drown out the hammering! If we don’t ride, we don’t have to listen!

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Hey! No Cutting in Line! – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Our pack in the perfect example of good order and polite behavior. I am so proud to be…

Me:        Hey! Slow down!

Wiggles:   Sweetie! Shame on you!

Miss Sweetie:    Not shame on me! Shame on you! You butted in line!

Wiggles:   You can’t butt in if you belong here.

Me:        What is the rush? You will all get outside within a few seconds of each other! You act like silly, crazy humans in rush hour traffic!

Tiger:     Humans act like this? That is a high compliment.

Me:   No, it’s not.

Doodlebug:   What if I say, “Excuse me”? Can I cut in line then? Because if I can, EXCUSE ME!

Stella:    All right, here’s the new standing order: I always go first.

Me:        What if you are taking a nap?

Stella:    Then obviously not. Wiggles goes second with Sweetie close behind her.

Tiger:     What about me?

Doodlebug:   What about me?

Stella:   Tiger, you have to wait until Lady Human can go out with you, so you won’t get scared.

Tiger:     I don’t get scared…often…not every day.

Stella:    Doodle, you have to wait for Lady Human, too, so you won’t…you know…so you won’t go snacking.

Doodlebug:   But I LIKE to snack.

Me:   It’s the type of snack you like that’s the problem.

Stella:   Bottom line: NO CUTTING IN LINE or butting in line, whichever you prefer to do.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Flying Snacks – Conversations with Stella and Miss Sweetie

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. You are going to have to tell Sweetie again, Lady Human. Tell her not to try to catch the big bomber beetles.

Me:        The locusts?

Stella:    YES! Silly girl! I don’t see what the attraction is.

Miss Sweetie:    They buzz me when I am trying to enjoy myself outside. Nobody buzzes me!

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Me:        If you catch one, you won’t be happy.

Stella:    That’s what I told her.

Miss Sweetie:    Why not? They look delicious. They are round and colorful. Big fat treats in the air.

Me:        And they don’t stop buzzing in your mouth. I know. I’ve been privileged to see a cat catch one.

Stella:    Was it Moon Cat? Tell me it was Moon Cat.

Me:        No, it was a cat many, many years ago. She was hanging around the front porch one evening when a locust landed. She went for it, caught it in her mouth, and then…

Miss Sweetie:    …and then she ate it and lived happily ever after.

Me:        No, she did live happily ever after, but not during the half minute she had that thing trapped in her mouth. She had a tiger by the tail and didn’t know what to do with it.

Stella:    I thought you said she caught a locust in her mouth. Where did the tiger come from? Were tigers wandering around in those days? ‘Cuz if they are still around, I would like to meet one.

Me:        No, you wouldn’t, and no, they didn’t. “Tiger by the tail” is an expression that refers to when someone gets ahold of something they can’t handle.

Stella:    Oh, never mind, Sweetie, it’s just another meaningless bunch of human words.

Miss Sweetie:    I think I’d still like to catch one of those flying bugs.

Stella:    Just let us know if you ever do.

Me:        Oh, she’ll let us know all right. I doubt we’ll miss that. There’ll be jumping and head shaking and big-time drooling.

Stella:    That sounds great! A popcorn event.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Y’all Are Not Roosters – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:        I have an announcement.

Stella:    Oh, no. What now?

Me:        The useless, popup barking at dawn. Way too early to get up. Nothing was going on worth reporting. I am here to tell you that y’all are not roosters so no daybreak barking!

Tiger:     Are you sure we are not roosters? And what are roosters?

Wiggles:   They are boy chickens and they are very loud early in the morning and I am glad that there are not any of them here.

Miss Sweetie:    Can I be a rooster?

Me:        No, ma’am. As y’all are always telling me, you are bulldogs.

Doodlebug:   I am a boy. I am a bulldog. I can be a bulldog rooster.

Me:        No, absolutely not.

Doodlebug:        Where do I apply to be a rooster?

Me:        That’s not the way that works. Born a bulldog. Always a bulldog.

Doodlebug:   Awww.

Me:   Look. I understand that you bark. I just don’t want the barking at dawn.

Stella:    Okay. Everybody, schedule your barkers for midnight.

Me:        No!

Stella:    Why not? Do roosters bark at midnight?

Me:        Roosters crow, but not usually at midnight.

Stella:    Too many rules. Don’t bark at dawn. Don’t bark at midnight. Don’t crow because you’re not a rooster. The humans are confused. Everybody, back to auto-bark.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Last Hurrah of Summer – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges…

Miss Sweetie:    They buzzed me! Did you see them? They buzzed me! Like I am a landing spot for big, round bugs! Gross!

Stella:    What buzzed you?

Me:        You know. The locusts. They are swarming. You’ve seen them the past few days.

Stella:    Oh, them. They leave me alone. Probably because they know that I am the queen.

Me:        No doubt.

Tiger:   Lady Human, what is their problem? They’ve been around all during the hot season, but now they are everywhere.

Doodlebug:  And they are singing from the trees so loudly I can’t hear myself bark.

Me:        They are loud, but even that is hard to believe.

Wiggles:   May I eat them when they fly by?

Me:        I wouldn’t recommend it. Though it is really funny to see a cat grab one and it starts buzzing in its mouth and the cat doesn’t know whether to let it go or hold on…

Stella:    Lady Human.

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    We are not interested in what cats do. We are bulldogs. Why are these locusts swarming us now?

Me:        It is their last hurrah of the summer. They are hatching out from where they were laid as eggs 14 or even 17 years ago, they are mating, they are laying their eggs, and then they will die.

Stella:    The last hurrah of summer. The last hurrah of the locusts. Okay. I don’t blame them so much then. Is summer almost over?

Me:        We have about another month – technically.

Stella:    Technically? A human word meaning…?

Me:        Officially, one month from today, but summer sometimes has a mind of its own around here.

Stella:    But all the locusts will be gone by then.

Me:        Yes, their season will have passed. Their purpose will have been fulfilled.

Stella:    Well then.

Me:        Yes. Well.

Stella:    Hurrah for them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

The Alarm Clock in My Stomach – Conversations with Stella, Doodlebug, and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Doodlebug:   And I am Doodlebug, Crown Prince of the Olde English Bulldogges and Official Timekeeper.

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Stella:    When did that happen?

Doodlebug:   The prince thing? I was born that way.

Stella:    I never heard anything about it.

Doodlebug:   The Time Keeper position happened because I have an alarm clock in my stomach. Lady Human says so and humans know all about stuff like that.

Me:   It’s true. He’s accurate to within 5 minutes most days.

Tiger:   I can set my stomach by him.

Wiggles:   He always lets me know when I should already have my food but don’t.

Miss Sweetie:   What is time?

Me:        A profound question, Sweetie. Let me know when you have it figured out.

Miss Sweetie:   Sure thing, Lady Human.

Stella:    Okay, fine. So, Doodlebug knows when it’s suppertime or breakfast. Great. It’s not as though we couldn’t figure that out on our own. Official Timekeeper I will allow. Crown Prince? I’ll just have to see about that. After all, I am Stella, QUEEN! That has to count for something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Glued to the Floor – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, as usual, is acting weird. I will try to find out why.

Me:        No mystery. I am planting my feet firmly on the ground in anticipation of what is about to happen.

Tiger:     Planting your feet? In dirt? Will they turn green like the grass?

Me:        Sorry, Tiger. Let me be clear. I am setting my feet firmly on the ground, ready for what happens when I open this door.

Doodlebug:   What happens when you open that….

Wiggles:   Here I come!

Me:        Whoa!

Miss Sweetie:   Me, too!

Me:        Whoa! It’s all right! It’s all right. I’m still standing. That was close.

Stella:    Why does Wiggles do that?

Me:        Why does Wiggles do that?

Stella:    There is an echo in this room.

Me:        Have you noticed something about how you exit to go outside, Stella?

Stella:    I prance out, head held high, just as a queen should.

Me:        And you bump hard into my left leg, always my left leg, on your forceful way out.

Stella:    Forceful? What can I say? I am a bulldog. I am being me.

Me:        Well, Wiggles and now Sweetie have been forcing their way past me, too. So every time I have to glue my feet to the floor.

Stella:    No! You will get stuck!

Me:        It’s an expression. It means I make sure I’m ready. Wiggles is a switch hitter. Sometimes she hits my left leg; sometimes she hits my right leg. Without the grounding, she could take me off my feet either way.

Stella:    I’m so sorry, Lady Human. What can I say? We are bulldogs. Get out of our way.

Not Tea Time! Pee Time! – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. TEA TIME!

Me:        Tea time? No. What?

Stella:    You just called for it. You said, “Tea time!”

Me:        No, I said, “Pee time!” We don’t observe tea time around here. Stop begging for it. You don’t drink tea.

Stella:    I would if you would let me.

Me:        There’s a whole bunch of stuff you’d do if I’d let you, and a bunch of that stuff would be bad for you.

Stella:    So, what does that have to do with tea time?

Me:        Let me ask you this. Which would you rather have – tea time or pee time?

Stella:    Well, tea time sounds like a party and I like parties. But pee time feels really good and then I lie down and take a nap. I guess my answer is let’s have tea time and then have pee time.

Me:        That sound likes a good order of things, but we are not having tea time.

Stella:    Oh, all right. Pee time. We will just settle for less. But why do you get to have tea?

Me:        It’s not harmful to humans. Some of it is quite good. When I find a tea that I am sure is safe for dogs, we can have tea time together. How about that?

Stella:    We still get pee time meanwhile though, right?

Me:        Oh, yeah. Nobody does without that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Happy 11th Birthday, Moon Cat – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

 

20151220_230434.jpgI am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Cats should not have birthdays, but apparently, they do. At least that’s what Lady Human says. Today is Moon Cat’s 11th birthday. I have two questions:

  • Does that mean that Moon Cat is an old lady?
  • Will there be cake?

Tiger:     Happy Birthday, Moon Cat. Thank you for being a buddy.

Moon Cat:   Meow!

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Stella:    Typical.

Miss Sweetie:    Happy Birthday, Moon. I hope you don’t mind when I chase you. It’s the only way I can show you my love and still act like a bulldog.

Moon Cat:   Meow!

Stella:   That doesn’t mean anything. She is just asking Lady Human for even more food.

Doodlebug:   Happy Birthday, Moon. I guess.

Moon Cat:   Meow!

Doodlebug:   Translation, please.

Stella:    Blah, blah, blah.

Wiggles:   Happy Birthday, Moon. Are you a bulldog, too?

Moon Cat:   Meow!

Stella:    Wiggles, don’t believe a word she says. Of course, she’s not a bulldog.

Wiggles:   She seems like a member of the pack to me. But she is very small. And very furry. And she doesn’t bark ever. And she talks funny.

Stella:    Wiggles! Hint! Hint! Not a bulldog.

Wiggles:   Yeah, but still a pack member.

Stella:    My questions remain unanswered. Is Moon Cat an old lady now?

Me:        She doesn’t act like an old lady. She jumps higher than any of us, which, in my case, is not hard to do. She runs faster than any of us.

Stella:    She sleeps all day.

Me:        She’s a cat.

Stella:   She’s got gray hair.

Me:        She’s always had gray hair. She’s a gray cat.

Stella:    Likely story.

Me:        It’s true. She’s been with us since she was 4 months old. Gray cat.

Stella:    Second question?

Me:        Cake? Nope. Not a big cake family.

Stella:    Well, at least there is no favoritism shown to cats.

Me:        So, what do you have to say?

Stella:    Oh, all right. Happy Birthday, Moon Cat. And many more to come.

Me:        Happy Birthday, Moon Cat, from all of us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Dream On – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. All is quiet. It has been raining a lot for the past few days. No one wants to sunbathe because…there is no sun. Sunbathing without sun is no fun. Haha! I made a rhyme. Did you hear that, Sweetie? Sweetie? Lady Human, something is wrong with Sweetie!

Me:   No, she’s all right. She’s asleep.

Stella:    Look at her! She’s jerking her feet! She’s making growly noises and puffing her cheeks!

Me:    She’s dreaming.

Stella:    It’s scary! Make her stop! Wake her up!

Me:        I personally think it’s better if the dream finishes and she wakes up on her own. I feel that way about humans, too.

Stella:    Humans do this?

Me:   Sure. We dream. I mean, we may not growl or puff out our cheeks, but the dreams are real enough. I’ve seen you dream, too.

Stella:    No! I don’t do that!

Me:        Sure, you do.

Stella:    No, I don’t! Take it back!

Me:   What’s the problem? I think it’s cool that you all dream.

Stella:    That’s undignified. I am a queen. I don’t jerk and jump and do all that weird stuff while I am asleep.

Me:        No, not every time, but yeah, sometimes.

Stella:    Make it stop. Don’t let me do that.

Me:        Don’t you remember your dreams ever?

Stella:    Well, adventures I wake up with, yes. But all that jumping and fake running? I don’t want anyone watching me while I am asleep. How embarrassing. How dangerous.

Me:        You are safe here. You are among family. No enemy is going to sneak up on you in your sleep.

Stella:    Phew! That’s a relief! Because I would hate to have anyone see me looking as ridiculous as Sweetie looks right now.

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Wired – Conversations with Stella and Miss Sweetie

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I am Stella, Queen…

Miss Sweetie:    Look at me! Look at me!

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Stella:   EXCUSE ME! As I was saying before I was so rudely inter…

Miss Sweetie:    I want to go outside! No, I don’t! I want to stay in here. Is it raining? No, it’s not raining! I’m going to sit down. No, I’m going to stand up.

Me:        Sweetie, what’s wrong?

Stella:    She’s wired. Is that the right human word? Or is it ‘weird’? I get those two words mixed up. Humans are so confusing.

Me:        She’s definitely wired right now, but why? You spent a lot of time outside today, Sweetie, when it wasn’t raining  . The temperature is way down. I don’t recall ever seeing an August day here with highs in the 70’s.

Miss Sweetie:    Boring! No, not boring! No, I don’t want to go outside! What was that noise?

Me:        What noise?

Stella:    There was no noise, Lady Human, not that I expect humans to hear noises. Sweetie’s wired. And weird. It’s probably the weather change.

Miss Sweetie:    What’s that? Where’s Tall Man? Where’s the cat? I want to chase the cat.

Me:        She’s sequestered herself in a safe place until you calm down. I think maybe I should, too.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

My Special Rain Spot – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. As queen, I enjoy many special things. One of them is my Special Rain Spot. Okay, I am ready now, Lady Human.

Me:   There you go.

Stella:    No, not that door. The other door.

Me:   No, everybody’s using the big yard.

Stella:    No, it is raining. I do not use the big yard when it is raining. We already had this arranged, remember?

Me:        Well, everybody is using the big yard today. That’s my arrangement.

Stella:    But it is raining out there.

Me:        It is raining everywhere.

Stella:    But it is raining more in the big yard because it is bigger.

Me:        No, it’s pretty much raining the same amount all over the property. In fact, you will run into less rain in the big yard because the big trees are blocking some of it.

Stella:    But my Special Rain Spot is MY SPECIAL RAIN SPOT. The big yard is not the same. ANYBODY can use that on a rainy day. I am not just ANYBODY. I AM THE QUEEN.

Me:   And I am the human and I say that the safest spot today is the big yard.

Stella:   Uggghh! What good is it to be queen if you can be overruled by a mere human!

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Collector – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Let me be blunt. Lady Human has a problem. She collects things. All kinds of things. Things that bulldogs take no interest in.

Me:        So?

Stella:    If you were collecting stuff like chew toys and treats, I would not even mention it.

Me:        I figured that.

Stella:    But you collect things like…well, the worst thing is paper.

Me:        I don’t collect paper. I use paper. I make notes. I write stuff. I have notebooks.

Stella:    Full of paper. Face it, Lady Human. You are surrounded by paper. You cover your lap with paper. You hold paper in front of your face. I am surprised that you don’t wear paper.

Me:        Actually, that is possible. Some people have made…

Stella:    No, don’t even think about it.

Me:        Why do you care what I collect?

Stella:    The more you collect, the less room there is for us.

Me:        I think we’ve got plenty of room here.

Stella:    Wait. Are you a bulldog collector?

Me:        Well, I have some stuffed toy bulldogs, so you might call that a collection of bulldogs except that they are toys and never were dogs, so…

Stella:    I KNEW IT! You are going to keep filling the house with your collections until there is no room for real bulldogs. Or even humans, not that that is a problem.

Me:        I am not going to fill the house up with collections of anything.

Stella:    How do we know that?

Me:        Because I have learned to exercise self-control.

Stella:    Hmmmpphh! I know nothing about that. Not a bulldog problem!

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

What is a Troll and How Do I Get Rid of It? – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Something ugly is on the Picture Box. Turn it off, Lady Human, turn it off!

Me:        What is it?

Stella:    What do you mean? It’s ugly! Trust me! Turn it off!

Me:        Oh, that’s a troll.

Stella:    What is a troll and why did you invite one into our house?

Me:        I’m not sure there ever was anything like a troll.

Stella:    Then why is it on the Picture Box? Did humans make up yet another ugly thing and call it a troll this time? Why do you watch things that have ugly trolls in them?

Me:        I wasn’t really watching that. It was more background noise while I did other things.

Stella:    Don’t put trolls on in the background! Put on something with cute puppies or pretty trees or food! NOT TROLLS!

Me:        Oh, okay.

Stella:    And no walking zombies either.

Me:        At least they’re not trolls.

Stella:    Lady Human, do I have to take the tiny little Picture Box box away from you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Boundaries – Conversations with Stella and Doodlebug

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Doodlebug:   May I say something, please?

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Stella:    Since you asked so nicely, maybe.

Doodlebug:   Maybe? Does that mean ‘yes’? Because I think it means I can, so here goes. Why do we have a fence? Why am I not allowed outside the fence by myself?

Stella:    Two questions! You were only allowed one. That is a violation of the rules. I make the rules which makes the rules important.

Me:        I can answer both of those questions.

Stella:    That would be two answers! He was only allowed one question…maybe. As usual, Doodle is taking too much on himself.

Me:        And I think that right there answers his second question. How about if I answer the first question then?

Stella:    Oh, very well.

Me:        The answer to why we have a fence goes a long way back.

Stella:    Oh, no. It’s going to be THAT kind of answer. Long, boring, ancient history.

Me:        Not ancient.

Stella:    Did it happen before I was born?

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    Ancient history, which is always long and boring because it has nothing to do with me.

Me:        Many, many years ago…

Stella:    Here we go.

Me:        …when Tall Man was very young…

Stella:    A puppy.

Me:        No, never a puppy. A young human. Anyway, we built a tall fence to keep Tall Man safe…

Stella:    Did you call him ‘Tall Boy’ in those days?

Me:        No. Anyway, we built a strong, tall fence so he could play outside and not wander off and not have strangers bother him. When you all came along, it served us well to protect you, too.

Doodlebug:   Does Tall Man have to stay inside the fence?

Me:        No, he is a grown man now. He comes and goes as he pleases.

Doodlebug:   Well, I am a grown bulldog now. I should get to come and go as I please.

Me:        Nope.

Doodlebug:   How come?

Stella:    Lady Human, allow me. Because Tall Man knows how to behave in public. We know that he will not pick fights with people or dogs. We are not so sure about you, tough guy. Tall Man does not jump on people or dogs, even in friendship. He does not wander around using the bathroom on the property of other people. He does not accept rides from strangers. He does not chew up things he finds on the ground. He never, and I do mean NEVER, eats dog poop. And when he wants to come home, he knows exactly where home is.

Me:        I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Doodlebug:   Hmmmppphh! I could do… or not do all those things, only I don’t want to.

Stella:    Thank the Great Creator for fences.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

I’m Not So Scary! – Conversations with Stella

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am a beautiful, sweet girl.

Me:        Yes, you are.

Stella:    But Lady Human, something that happened at the vet lady’s place last week is still bothering me.

Me:        Oh, that was just a thermometer. That’s how dog doctors take your temperature to make sure you are healthy…

Stella:    No, not THAT! I know all that. Not that it was great, but what is bothering me is how some of the humans looked at me. Like that one lady who stared at me and pulled her dog closer to her.

Me:        I remember.

Stella:    She reminded me of that woman at the feed store that time, the one who wouldn’t come in the door because she said I was ‘so big’. Her dog was way taller than me.

Me:        Yeah, I had to tell her that all you would ever do was roll over on your back and want her to scratch your belly. She seemed to calm down after that.

Stella:    Her dog was embarrassed for her.

Me:        Yeah, her dog seemed friendly. So did the one at the vet’s office.

Stella:    Even the cat people were calm.

Me:        Well, the cats were in closed carriers so…

Stella:    Why are people afraid of me? I am not scary. Not so scary anyway.

Me:        You have to understand something about humans, Stella. Humans can be stupid. And fearful.

Stella:    Oh, I know that humans are stupid.

Me:        No, not all humans.

Stella:    Just a whole bunch of humans that I have met. Don’t misunderstand me, Lady Human. I don’t believe that you and Tall Man are stupid.

Me:        Thank you.

Stella:    Most of the time.

Me:        Okay…

Stella:    But I am not scary. Look at my face! I don’t act scary. I don’t bark or lunge or growl. Why do humans draw back from me?

Me:        Even if a human is not stupid, a human can be ignorant. They see your teeth and…

Stella:    They think I would use my teeth on them?

Me:        Sometimes. I mean, I know you wouldn’t and you know you wouldn’t, but a stranger to your breed may think you are a fighter. People judge all kinds of things by appearances before they know the facts. Remember the vet staff, how they reacted to you?

Stella:    They laughed and smiled.

Me:        They called you ‘pretty girl’. They know bulldogs very well.

Stella:    From now on, I only want to be around smart humans, the ones who call me ‘pretty girl’ and smile. Please instruct all other humans to look away or go home.

Me:        Yeah, I don’t think that is going to go over too well.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Singing for My Supper – Conversations with Stella and Doodlebug

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Doodlebug:   And I am Doodlebug, the Prince. Woooo rawww. Woooo rawww. Sing. Sing. Sing. It is suppertime. Sing on!

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Me:        Just a few minutes. I’ve got to get it ready.

Doodlebug:   Eatin’ time! Eatin’ time! Sing, sing, sing for your supper!

Stella:    Lady Human! Do I have to sing for my supper? How undignified!

Me:        No, I think Doodle just wants to keep me on track. His song sounds kind of plaintive.

Stella:    Plaintive? Does that mean hungry?

Me:        Sometimes. Supper’s on the way, everybody.

Doodlebug:        Woo hoo! Supper can’t be too early, but it can be late! Woo hoot!

Stella:    Stop that singing! It doesn’t even rhyme. And about that Prince thing…I’m the only one around here who gets to say who’s what. So don’t expect any crown anytime soon. I don’t even have one yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.