Glued to the Floor – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

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I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, as usual, is acting weird. I will try to find out why.

Me:        No mystery. I am planting my feet firmly on the ground in anticipation of what is about to happen.

Tiger:     Planting your feet? In dirt? Will they turn green like the grass?

Me:        Sorry, Tiger. Let me be clear. I am setting my feet firmly on the ground, ready for what happens when I open this door.

Doodlebug:   What happens when you open that….

Wiggles:   Here I come!

Me:        Whoa!

Miss Sweetie:   Me, too!

Me:        Whoa! It’s all right! It’s all right. I’m still standing. That was close.

Stella:    Why does Wiggles do that?

Me:        Why does Wiggles do that?

Stella:    There is an echo in this room.

Me:        Have you noticed something about how you exit to go outside, Stella?

Stella:    I prance out, head held high, just as a queen should.

Me:        And you bump hard into my left leg, always my left leg, on your forceful way out.

Stella:    Forceful? What can I say? I am a bulldog. I am being me.

Me:        Well, Wiggles and now Sweetie have been forcing their way past me, too. So every time I have to glue my feet to the floor.

Stella:    No! You will get stuck!

Me:        It’s an expression. It means I make sure I’m ready. Wiggles is a switch hitter. Sometimes she hits my left leg; sometimes she hits my right leg. Without the grounding, she could take me off my feet either way.

Stella:    I’m so sorry, Lady Human. What can I say? We are bulldogs. Get out of our way.

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