I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, as usual, is acting weird. I will try to find out why.
Me: No mystery. I am planting my feet firmly on the ground in anticipation of what is about to happen.
Tiger: Planting your feet? In dirt? Will they turn green like the grass?
Me: Sorry, Tiger. Let me be clear. I am setting my feet firmly on the ground, ready for what happens when I open this door.
Doodlebug: What happens when you open that….
Wiggles: Here I come!
Miss Sweetie: Me, too!
Me: Whoa! It’s all right! It’s all right. I’m still standing. That was close.
Stella: Why does Wiggles do that?
Me: Why does Wiggles do that?
Stella: There is an echo in this room.
Me: Have you noticed something about how you exit to go outside, Stella?
Stella: I prance out, head held high, just as a queen should.
Me: And you bump hard into my left leg, always my left leg, on your forceful way out.
Stella: Forceful? What can I say? I am a bulldog. I am being me.
Me: Well, Wiggles and now Sweetie have been forcing their way past me, too. So every time I have to glue my feet to the floor.
Stella: No! You will get stuck!
Me: It’s an expression. It means I make sure I’m ready. Wiggles is a switch hitter. Sometimes she hits my left leg; sometimes she hits my right leg. Without the grounding, she could take me off my feet either way.
Stella: I’m so sorry, Lady Human. What can I say? We are bulldogs. Get out of our way.