Panting Weather – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, blow on the air and make it cooler.

Me: That is not one of my gifts, girl.

Stella: Turn on the twirling thing then.

Me: It is on.

Stella: Don’t try to fool me. It is not going as fast as it can.

Me: Oh, all right. One more notch up. But don’t try to steal the covers if you chill down in the wee hours of the morning.

Stella: Wee hours? Is that why I have to get up to go outside and potty in the dark? Why didn’t you just tell me they were called that? That solves the mystery.

Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Not Open to the Public – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill
I am Stella, Queen of the Old English Bulldogges.
 
Doodlebug:  What’s in your bowl?


 
Stella:  The same thing that’s in your bowl.
 
Miss Sweetie:  Can I stick my face in?


 
Me:  Nope. No food snooping. No food spying.
 
Stella:  That’s right. My food bowl is not open to the public. Can’t you see? The door is shut.
 
Doodlebug:  No fair. We can see it. We can smell it. We can’t touch it.
 
Miss Sweetie:  We are locked out of Stella’s food. Awwww.
 
Me:  What would happen if I left Stella’s food bowl out for you to eat out of?
 
Doodlebug:  I would get more to eat so that would be a win.
 
Miss Sweetie:  I would get more to eat so I would get fatter and that would be a win.
 
Me:  Not really.
 
Stella:  There is a reason why we put doors on things and you two are it.







 
Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Out Like Lottie’s Eye – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Leave me alone, Lady Human. Uhhh…
 
Me:  Come on, girl. You gotta go out before it starts raining.
 
Stella:  No. Just lay here.
 
Me:  Boy, you sure were fast asleep. You were out like Lottie’s eye.
 
Stella:  What? Whose eye? An eye out? My eye? Both my eyes are here!
 
Me:  No, it’s just an old expression. ‘Out like Lottie’s eye’ just means you were so deeply asleep that it was hard to wake you up.
 
Stella: Who is Lottie? Why is her eye out? Can she open it? What’s going on?
 
Me: I don’t know any Lotties and I don’t know how that saying came about.
 
Stella:  Then why say it? Now I’m all worried about Lottie and her eye. And now I’m going to have to watch my eyes even when I’m asleep. Thank you so much, Lady Human, for fouling everything up with your weird old sayings.







 
Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bacon Bribery – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is your scheme, Lady Human?
 
Me:  Scheme? I don’t have any scheme.
 
Miss Sweetie:  I smell bacon. Whatever it is that you want me to do, I will do it, ma’am.

 
Me:  Will you follow me back into the house?
 
Miss Sweetie:  Immediately if there is bacon at the end of the journey.
 
Me:  How about you, Doodlebug?

 
Doodlebug:  Absolutely and immediately.
 
Stella:  Disgusting. Doesn’t anyone have a backbone anymore?
 
Me:  Stella, will you come back in for a piece of bacon?
 
Stella:  Of course! What do I look like? An idiot?







 
Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Too Quiet – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill
 
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human is strange. She has been too quiet. I don’t like weird stuff. Or change. Or boots sitting in the middle of the floor. Or…
 
Me:  Or a whole lot of things that don’t fit your bulldoggy view of the world.
 
Stella:  Exactly. So what is wrong with you, Lady Human?
 
Me:  Just been doing a lot of thinking. And remembering.
 
Stella: Have you been that way because Wiggles passed to the Great Creator?
 
Me:  Yes, partly, but there is more than that. And how would you all even notice me being quiet?  With all the noise you make around here…
 
Stella:  Hey! Somebody else’s loudness is no excuse for being too quiet. Speak up more! That way we’ll have something to shout down!







 
Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.