When in Doubt, Snort It Out! – Conversations with Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, my nose tickles. I think something is alive in there.

Me: Your nose is alive. It’s part of you. Let me see.

Doodlebug: Be careful, ma’am. Don’t get too…

Sweetie: Snort. Snort. Choo!

Doodlebug:  …close. What is that?

Me: Looks like a little piece of a stick. Well, better out than in, as a friend of mine always says.

Sweetie: Do humans snort things out, too?

MoonCat: Not nearly as well as bulldogs.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grab a Perch – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the parakeets are weird.

Me: Not for parakeets, they’re not.

Sweetie: But they never sit down. They are always standing on their feet on top of sticks.

Me: Those sticks we call ‘perches’. Their feet and legs hold on and keep them steady, the way the Great Creator made them to be. Even in a strong wind.

Doodlebug: We can pick up more sticks for them in the yard!

MoonCat: Don’t take them up on that offer, Baby and Bud. Bulldog gifts always come with strings of bulldog slobber attached.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What’s Got Your Goat? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Doodle, more nonsense words are spilling out of Lady Human. Now she’s saying, “That really got my goat”, and we don’t even have a goat.

Doodlebug: You mean those skinny loud-mouthed critters with horns and  beards? Naw, never saw one here.

Sweetie: Lady Human? What happened to your goat that we never saw?

Me: Huh? Oh, that just means I got upset.

Sweetie: If we got your goat back, would that help?

MoonCat: It wouldn’t help me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

The Complaint Department is Closed – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ohhhh, Lady Human…

Me: No, none of that.

Sweetie: But I’m so…

Doodlebug: Me, too!

Me: Just for the sake of argument, briefly state the problem.

Sweetie: It’s soooo…and there’s not enough…

Doodlebug: And there’s too much…and the wrong…

Me: Size? Flavor? Color? Texture? How about you, MoonCat? Anything to add?

MoonCat: My uncomplaining lips are sealed.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Panting Weather – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, my tongue is sweating.

Me: Yes, I noticed. The dripping on the floor gave it away.

Doodlebug: It feels…better…to just…let it hang out…in the air.

MoonCat: Sneaky weather. Up, then down, then way up. You’re not a yo-yo toy. As for me, I would never choose to pant. So undignified.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Sky Can’t Make Up Its Mind – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The sky is flippy-floppy again, Lady Human. One day it wants to be cold. Then it wants to be hot. Then it wants to be cold and hot at the same time.

Doodlebug: Like it has no mind of its own.

Me: It doesn’t.

MoonCat: Like some creatures I have known, blowing hot, then cold. My best feline advice – seek shelter and eat treats.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Breathe My Air – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, back up! Don’t breathe my air! It’s mine! Get your own!

Me: We are all breathing whatever air is in this space. It’s Doodlebug’s air, too.

Doodlebug: Thank you, Lady Human, for defending my airspace.

Me: There’s plenty for everyone.

MoonCat: Let’s see. The air in this room divided among one human, one cat, two parakeets, and two giant-nosed, big-mouthed bulldogs equals…somebody open a window.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Bulldog Hobbies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Same ole problem!

Me: Let me guess. Boredom.

Sweetie: BORED! Can’t you see how I’m stamping my feet impatiently?

Doodlebug: Come to think of it…BORED!

Me: Play a game with your toys.

Sweetie: Too tame. I know! We can chew something up. Anything!

Me: No, not just anything.

Doodlebug: And dancing! We can dance all over the place.

Me: Otherwise known as foot stomping.

Sweetie: And don’t forget our magnificent bulldog chorus!

MoonCat: Isn’t it nice to have a hobby that annoys everyone else?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Boredom Breakers –           Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Bored!

Doodlebug: Yep! Bored! How do humans handle that?

Me: We pull out one of our hobbies or games and work on that. Like when I crochet.

Sweetie: How is tangling up yarn a good thing?

MoonCat: What a cat does with yarn is an artform. Humans just make stuff.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Foot the Bill – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Doodle, Lady Human is using human nonsense words again. She is talking about not footing the bill. What is a bill? And what do feet have to do with it?

Doodlebug: Lady Human, if you need me to, I can stomp my feet on anything you like. I’ll foot that bill!

Me: Go ahead. Here it is. See if it does any good. Stomp away.

MoonCat: Ignore bulldog feet at your peril, bill.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

No Eating Off the Floor – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, y’all, we’ve talked about this before. No bowling tipping. No bowl rocking. No food spilling on purpose. No eating off the floor.

Sweetie: But it’s cool!

Doodlebug: Yeah, it makes a great clangy sound and the food rolls around like tiny little bouncy balls.

Me: It’s messy and guess who gets to clean it up?

Sweetie: Not me!

Doodlebug: Not me!

MoonCat: Don’t even consider it.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Out of Kilter – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, do you still have a hitch in your get-along?

Me: I’m better, but something is still out of kilter.

Doodlebug: If you’re out of it, you should get some more kilter. Will the food store deliver it, because I have a few things on my list.

Me: “Out of kilter” means something is not quite right.

MoonCat: I don’t have any tunafish. Put that on the “out of kilter” list.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Junk Mail Recipients – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Hold on a minute, Sweetie! What’s that in your mouth?

Sweetie: Hmmmm?

Doodlebug: That’s from that paper pile you threw by the trash can.

Me: That’s junk mail.

Sweetie: Smells pretty good to be junk.

Me: It’s paper and that’s a problem.

Doodlebug: No problem at all, Lady Human. We’ll take it from here.

MoonCat: Don’t look at me. I have better taste than that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Hitch in My Get-along – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you’re walking slow and lopsided today.

Me: Yeah, I’ve got a hitch in my get-along.

Sweetie: Great! May I have one, too?

Me: I don’t believe you want one of these. Besides, it’s not something that I can give away.

Doodlebug: There go the humans being stingy again.

MoonCat: Some gifts just aren’t worth the trouble.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Give Me a Boost  – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Up there. On top of that tall thing. I want up there.

Me: There’s nothing for you up there.

Sweetie: How do I know without looking? Give me a boost.

Doodlebug: Yeah, give me a boost, too.

Me: 75 to 80 pounds each? I don’t think so.

MoonCat: Another advantage of cathood. No boosts needed.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Feed – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay. y’all, let’s not waste food. It’s not chicken feed, you know.

Sweetie: It had better not be chicken feed. Do I look like a chicken?

Doodlebug: Wait! What does chicken feed taste like? The chickens seem to enjoy it. Maybe…

Me: Nope. Dog food for dogs. I was using an old expression because chicken feed used to be cheap.

Doodlebug: So we can waste it.

MoonCat: Someone is missing the whole point. Ohhh, bulldogs. My, oh my.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Truth about Tails –  Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, my tail is…is…stumpy. I can’t do anything with it.

Me: You can wag it.

Sweetie: Mine is stumpy, too. I can’t even whack anybody in the face with it.

Me: Do you want to?

Sweetie: Sure.

MoonCat: Face whacking with my tail. You just opened up a whole world of possibilities for me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.