
“Why the big hurry? SLOW DOWN! Ambling is its own reward. And all we have is now.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Why the big hurry? SLOW DOWN! Ambling is its own reward. And all we have is now.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Does that mean you are in charge around here? Because this place is very poorly run.
Doodlebug: Don’t blame me. I’m just the King.
MoonCat: Meow. Don’t drag me into this.
Sweetie: Lady Human, no one seems to be in charge, so now I am taking over.
Me: Uh, I don’t think so.
Sweetie: Don’t worry. You can still stay here. I won’t rehome you.
Me: Oh, thank you so much.
Doodlebug: That tone of voice in humans means she is making fun.
Me: Being in charge is not all it’s cracked up to be. There’s cleaning and buying food and cleaning and grooming and more cleaning…
Sweetie: On second thought, I am appointing you to do all that stuff, Lady Human. I hereby declare naptime. It’s great being charge!
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
BOOM!
“Wow! I didn’t see that coming! That’s what happens when you only look in one direction. Look around.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Uphill is always a climb. How hard a climb depends on how steep the hill is and on how determined a bulldog you are.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: I am Sweetie. ‘Nough said.
MoonCat: Meow.
Me: You are probably wondering why I have called you all here today.
Doodlebug: No, not really.
Sweetie: Don’t care.
MoonCat: Meow. Because we all live here anyway?
Me: There is mess in the kitchen.
Doodlebug: Oooo, good! Let me at it.
Sweetie: A mess in the kitchen. So what else is new?
MonnCat: Meow. Nobody saw me do it.
Me: Noses need to stay out of the trash bag.
Sweetie: Uhb, trash bags should not be nose high then.
Me: There are nasty things in the trash that are not good for you to eat. We’ve gone over this before.
Doodlebug: Then how come nasty things smell so delicious?
MoonCat: And how come tunafish live in the trash?
Me: They don’t.
Sweetie: No, they don’t. Chickens do.
Me: No, that’s not true either.
Doodlebug: Nobody worry about what is living in the trash. I’ll just keep checking. My nose is on it
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“To tumble or to slide, that is the question. Tumbling downhill can be fast but bumpy. Sliding may be smoother, but it can sure be rough on the paws.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Oh, I wish y’all could hand me that dealywhopper over there. I can’t quite reach it.
Sweetie: What’s a dealywhopper? Can I eat it?
Me: It’s that…thing there.
MoonCat: Meow. Is it tunafish? I’ll get it if it’s tunafish.
Me: No, it’s that thingamajig on the floor over there.
Doodlebug: What is she talking about?
Sweetie: A dealywhopper. It’s important, but you can’t eat it.
Doodlebug: It must not really be all that important then.
MoonCat: It’s not tunafish so…never mind.
Sweetie: Why doesn’t she just say what it is?
Doodlebug: She did. It’s a dealywhopper.
Sweetie: Must be some new human invention. Have you noticed how humans are always coming up with new stuff and new things to call the stuff? They are so weird.
Doodlebug: Yes, I have noticed that.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Greed makes messes that are hard to clean up. I’ll just use my tongue. The floor can’t taste all that bad. Can it?”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
And I am Sweetie and I smell something interesting over here. And over here. And over here.
MoonCat: Meow. Don’t come over here with your giant nose.
Doodlebug: Yeah, I smelled something over in that corner, too, but it wasn’t food, so I lost interest.
Sweetie: It smells like outside does after the sky water falls.
Me: Tracks? You smell where we’ve walked.
Sweetie: Well, of course I do. How else can I know the news and weather?
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“When you are digging, it takes light to see what treasure you find.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: What’s that on the floor? Let me eat it.
Me: NO!
Sweetie: How come? It smells delicious. Like one of your meals.
Me: No, it is not delicious. It is cat throw up. MoonCat’s delicate stomach acted up.
MoonCat: Meow. Tummy ache. Tunafish makes it all right.
Doodlebug: Why can’t we have nice treats? The cat doesn’t mind.
Me: Cat vomit is NOT, I repeat, NOT a nice treat. But why am I surprised? The Bible even says that a dog returns to its own vomit.
Sweetie: But that’s not ours. We are returning to MoonCat’s vomit. If I threw up, I would share with her.
MoonCat: Meow.
Me: Everybody just stay back while I clean this up.
Doodlebug: You see, I told you. We never get nice treats.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“To plant a good seed is a sacred act. To see it grow up is to receive a good gift.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Teatime!
Sweetie: Nope. My stomach says it’s much too early.
MoonCat: Meow. I’ll take mine now, please.
Sweetie: Teatime is Teatime and Teatime is not now.
Me: I’m sorry, but I have a prior engagement at regular Teatime so it will have to be now.
Doodlebug: Fine with me! As long as there’s food involved, I’m all in.
MoonCat: Meow. Me, too. Make mine tunafish.
Doodlebug: Hey, early is better than late.
Sweetie: This is most irregular.
Me: Well, if you want to skip yours…
Sweetie: What? NO! I only said this was irregular. I did not say that I am insane.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Hello, good dirt! You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Sweetie, Princess of the Olde English Bulldogges…or Queen, I can’t decide which.
Me: Sweetie?
Sweetie: Yes?
Me: What is this?
Sweetie: I think you know what that is.
Me: If you needed to go, you should have called.
Sweetie: I didn’t want to bother you.
Me: Pooping in your water bowl is not ideal, but it does simplify the mess. And it always impresses me.
Sweetie: I have perfect aim, don’t I?
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“For some jobs, paws just aren’t enough.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: What is that horrible whining noise?
MoonCat: Meow. Don’t look at me.
Me: Those are the storm sirens. A huge line of severe thunderstorms is moving through in just a few minutes.
Doodlebug: Who told them to move through my domain? I am the king and I did not give permission.
Me: Yeah, well, storms are real bad about not asking permission.
Sweetie: I hear the wind. What do we do? Blow back?
Me: Nope. Just stay inside, hold onto your hats. And pray. We’ve been through this before.
Doodlebug: This is like those shows on the big Picture Box.
Sweetie: Oh, good! Can we have snacks? I want cheese.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“A good fence is a friend forever.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Move along. Move along. Time’s a-wasting.
Sweetie: Hey, no cutting in line! I was here first!
Doodlebug: My stomach is getting emptier by the second.
Me: You just ate not three hours ago.
Doodlebug: YES! TOO LONG! And this line is taking forever.
Sweetie: The service here is terrible.
Me: Hey, I’ve only got two hands.
MoonCat: Meow! Where is my food?
Me: Coming. Coming. I only have two legs.
Sweetie: Excuses. Excuses. Keep the line moving.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.