Motor Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, where are you running to?

Sweetie: Nowhere. My feet just go where they want. They’re on their own.

Me: Not so. Your feet go where you tell them to.

Sweetie: I’ve never said a word to my feet in our whole lives together. My feet are like the big rolling box. We jump in and it takes us wherever it wants to.

Me: Again, not so. I have to steer the car and step on the gas.

Doodlebug: My feet are lazy. They follow my nose when my nose is awake.

MoonCat: Let me be perfectly clear. My own personal feet are under my complete control at all times. Who would you rather have loose in your house?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Stay Watered Up – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you stayed outside in the sun too long.

Me: Maybe.

Sweetie: You need some water.

Me: Probably.

Sweetie: Here. Have some of mine. I’ll push it over to you.

Me: No, that’s okay. I’ll get some in a minute.

Doodlebug: Don’t wait. Here is my bowl, too. Drink all you want.

MoonCat: Go ahead, ma’am. Bulldog water bowls always come loaded with extras though. I’d offer you mine, but your head is way too big.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sit Down! That’s an Order! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you look funny. Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, I think so. I just need to breathe…

Doodlebug: Sit down, ma’am! That’s an order! I am the King, like I told you.

Me: All right. Sitting down. Breathing.

Sweetie: You don’t look so funny anymore.

MoonCat: If sitting and breathing could get rid of funny-looking, that’s what bulldogs should do all the time.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Real Words – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you and the other humans have been making up words. Again.

Me: We do come up with new words for new things or ideas

Doodlebug: We want real words.

Me: Give me some examples of “real words”.

Sweetie: Dog. Bulldog. Food. Water. Bulldog.

Me: You mentioned “bulldog” twice.

Sweetie: It’s twice as important.

MoonCat: And you mentioned “cat” not at all. Nice to know where we rank in the bulldog kingdom.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Meeting of Minds – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I heard the chickens talking. I think they are planning something.

Me: What could they possibly be planning that would bother y’all?

Doodlebug: They could sneak up and jump on our backs and ride us the way cowboys ride horses.

Me: I’m not saying impossible. I will say unlikely.

Sweetie: You never can tell with chickens. They’re sneaky little boogers. If they’re meeting, they’re plotting.

MoonCat: I find chickens to be sociable, intelligent, and companionable creatures. I also find them to be sneaky little boogers.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Pecking in the Dirt – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. That other fella is Roo-Roo the Rooster. He is not a bulldog.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come he keeps hitting the dirt with his pointy mouth?

Me: He’s looking for something to eat.

Doodlebug: But those big food bowls are right over there. Why work so hard to find nothing?

Me: There’s always hope.

MoonCat: You will never find tunafish by pecking in the dirt. Just saving you some time. You’re welcome.

©️ 2026. H J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Watch Out for the Weird – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, we have figured out everything.

Me: I can’t wait to hear.

Sweetie: Keep your feet on the ground.

Doodlebug: Taste the air.

Sweetie: Keep your nose to the sky.

Doodlebug: Wear your hat.

Sweetie: Perk your ears.

Doodlebug: Keep your eyes open.

Sweetie: If it looks weird…

Doodlebug: Tastes weird…

Sweetie: Smells weird…

Doodlebug: Sounds weird…

Sweetie: Feels weird…

Sweetie & Doodlebug: Then, that ‘s right. It’s weird!

MoonCat: So, if you’re a bulldog, roll in it, lick it, bathe in it, sleep on it. Celebrate!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Free Speech for Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have something to say.

Me: Why should today be any different?

Sweetie: Dogs need free speech! We are constantly being told to quiet down. Free speech! Free speech!

Doodlebug: Yeah! Hear what I’m thinking! Free speech! Free speech!

Me: Since when does loud barking constitute free speech?

MoonCat: Oh, Lady Human, really?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Who Pulled the Plug? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

KABOOM!

Doodlebug: Who said that?

Sweetie: The humans are acting up again.

Me: Nope. You know a thunderstorm when you hear one. That was a lightning strike very close by.

Sweetie: So humans are not tapping at the windows with their pointy fingers.

Me: That’s heavy rain AND we just lost power.

Sweetie: Turn on the lights and search for it.

Me: No power. No light.

Doodlebug: What about food? Please, Lady Human! Do we have food?

Me: Yes. Your stomachs are fine.

Sweetie: What about the Big Picture Box?

Me: None of that until the electricity comes back on.

MoonCat: Wow! Talk about your off button.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Click Bait – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: So boring. Wait! Wow! What is that?

Me: What is what?

Sweetie: That right there on the Big Picture Box. Nope. It’s gone. Wait! What’s that? And that? And now that?

Doodlebug: Don’t be so human, Sweetie. Stick with one thing for a while. Wait! Go back to that picture! I’ve got to bark at it.

MoonCat: Where is that off button when you need it?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Getting Carried Away – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: “Romping, romping, romping, see my feet a-tromping, see my toes a-stomping, Yeehah!”

Me: That’s a great song, Sweetie, but you’re getting carried away, aren’t you? You just knocked down the doggie gate.

Sweetie: Getting carried away? Are you going to carry me, Lady Human? Come on and pick me up then. Let’s go!

Me: I meant aren’t you getting a little too excited? And I don’t think I can pick you up. You’re a tad…a tad…

MoonCat: Go ahead, ma’am. Say it. A tadpole she ain’t.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Off Button – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, somebody set Sweetie’s motor running and now she can’t shut off.

Sweetie: Run over here. Run over there. Run! Run! Run! Everywhere!

Me: Sweetie, turn it down a notch. Or two or three.

Sweetie: Mustn’t stop. It’s time. It’s time.

Me: It’s time for your off button.

Sweetie: Ain’t got one.

Me: Even if I rub this spot right here.

Sweetie: Oooo, you just pushed my button.

MoonCat: Off buttons have the power to change history.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Shape of My Face – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Speaking of frowning, Lady Human…

Me: Are we still speaking of frowns?

Sweetie: I am. Why is my face shaped like a frown?

Doodlebug: Mine, too! All droopy mouthed.

Me: Our faces are our faces. A lot goes into that. Heredity. Your particular family line. And above all, you are bulldogs. I’m a human. We show that off in everything.

Doodlebug: What if I don’t like the way I look?

Me: Learn to like your face. It’s yours.

MoonCat: I do not frown. My face is the perfect example of composure and determined calm. Now leave me alone.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Human Frowning – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human is frowning. Human frowning is never a good thing.

Doodlebug: She’s frowning at the little black box. The little black box is never a good thing.

Sweetie: Ma’am, is everything all right?

Me: Oh. Yeah. The phone service has been disrupted. That’s all.

Sweetie: If it’s not working right, turn it off. It has one of those buttons, doesn’t it?

Doodlebug: Turn it off and that will stop your frown, too.

MoonCat: Just goes to show, if it can be turned off, it doesn’t rule the world.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Name Calling – Part 2 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what is a good ugly name to call Roo-Roo the Rooster?

Me: I’m not sure there are any “good” ugly names.

Sweetie: If he can yell at me, I can yell at him.

Doodlebug: How about calling him what he called us? BULLDOG!

Sweetie: Yeah! That’ll teach him a lesson!

MoonCat: And what lesson, pray tell, would that be? Oh, I know. That bulldogs have a limited vocabulary.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Name Calling – Part 1 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Roo-Roo the Rooster was yelling at me!

Me: Maybe he was only saying hello very loudly.

Sweetie: Nobody says hello that loud! He was calling me an ugly name!

Me: And what ugly name, pray tell, was that?

Sweetie: BULLDOG!

Doodlebug: How rude!

MoonCat: How accurate.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Too Much Information – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, too much human talk is being thrown around.

Doodlebug: Yes. For example, we don’t know or care why the egg blew up. Talking about it just makes us think about it more and worry.

Sweetie: Yes, ma’am. Stop talking and spend the time making sure eggs stay in their shells.

MoonCat: Maybe that fella has some ideas.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.