Spitting Nickels – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What’s the matter, Lady Human?

Me: I’m so mad I could spit nickels.

Sweetie: I want to spit nickels. What are nickels?

Me: Just little round metal coins. Worth about 5 cents apiece.

Sweetie: You can spit human money? COOL!

Doodlebug: You are more talented than I thought!

Sweetie: You should just stay mad all the time. Think how much money you’d have and how many treats you could buy us.

MoonCat: Treats enough for all of us? That would take quite a bit of spitting.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Sky Is Still There – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: (singing) Ohhh, say can you see, The sky is still there, Even after the humans tried to blow it to pieces…

Me: Very nice, but not exactly accurate. And you’ll be happy to know that the fireworks are over for now.

Doodlebug: Our prayer was answered. I don’t even notice any holes.

Me: No. No holes. Breathe it in.

MoonCat: A whole sky is a nice thing to have around.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

You Ain’t Heard Nothin’ Yet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What were the humans up to last night, Lady Human?

Me: Oh, the fireworks?

Doodlebug: The big boom-booms.

Sweetie: Oh, no! Y’all were trying to blow up the sky again.

Me: It’s a celebration. And today is the big day. If you thought last night was loud, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet.

Doodlebug: Great Creator of all, please keep the sky where You put it.

Sweetie: Yes, please! The humans are up to their foolishness again!

MoonCat: I think the bulldogs give humans a little too much credit. After all these years, the sky is still here.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Peeking Parakeets – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. The parakeets are being sneaky.

Sweetie: Yeah, they’re looking at us from behind closed eyelids.

Baby and Bud: Peek peek peek. We see you.

MoonCat: Let’s have a peeking contest. I wonder who will win.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Just Sit There – Conversations with Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what are you doing?

Me: Nothing.

Sweetie: Exactly. You should be doing something. You are a human. Always be doing.

Me: It’s a fine thing to sit still and be quiet.

Doodlebug: No, it’s not. Not for a human. Sitting and doing nothing is only for us.

MoonCat: I say all humans should have the right to sit freely, except when that right delays my supper.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Power Connections – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, how come you are playing with skinny ropes?

Sweetie: Yeah, and how come you’re sticking the skinny rope ends in the wall?

Me: Electricity. I have to plug the cords in so the power will flow.

Sweetie: I don’t see a flow. Maybe you need a water hose from outside.

Me: Nope! Definitely not! Water and electricity don’t live together in peace.

MoonCat: Some things just don’t play well together. Ask me how I know.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Mind Your Own Business – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What is that I feel pushing its way under my arm?

Sweetie: It might be my big ole bulldog nose.

Me: Why?

Sweetie: Smelling what’s going on.

Doodlebug: May I be of assistance, ma’am?

Me: Nope. I am working on something electrical that has no bulldog connection.

Doodlebug: I want to see!

Sweetie: Me, too! I’ve already smelled it.

Me: Sometimes it’s better, safer even, to mind your own business.

Doodlebug: I’ve already done my business.

Sweetie: Yeah, me, too. I want to get into somebody else’s business.

MoonCat: Oh, mercy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Motor Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, where are you running to?

Sweetie: Nowhere. My feet just go where they want. They’re on their own.

Me: Not so. Your feet go where you tell them to.

Sweetie: I’ve never said a word to my feet in our whole lives together. My feet are like the big rolling box. We jump in and it takes us wherever it wants to.

Me: Again, not so. I have to steer the car and step on the gas.

Doodlebug: My feet are lazy. They follow my nose when my nose is awake.

MoonCat: Let me be perfectly clear. My own personal feet are under my complete control at all times. Who would you rather have loose in your house?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Stay Watered Up – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you stayed outside in the sun too long.

Me: Maybe.

Sweetie: You need some water.

Me: Probably.

Sweetie: Here. Have some of mine. I’ll push it over to you.

Me: No, that’s okay. I’ll get some in a minute.

Doodlebug: Don’t wait. Here is my bowl, too. Drink all you want.

MoonCat: Go ahead, ma’am. Bulldog water bowls always come loaded with extras though. I’d offer you mine, but your head is way too big.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sit Down! That’s an Order! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you look funny. Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, I think so. I just need to breathe…

Doodlebug: Sit down, ma’am! That’s an order! I am the King, like I told you.

Me: All right. Sitting down. Breathing.

Sweetie: You don’t look so funny anymore.

MoonCat: If sitting and breathing could get rid of funny-looking, that’s what bulldogs should do all the time.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Real Words – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you and the other humans have been making up words. Again.

Me: We do come up with new words for new things or ideas

Doodlebug: We want real words.

Me: Give me some examples of “real words”.

Sweetie: Dog. Bulldog. Food. Water. Bulldog.

Me: You mentioned “bulldog” twice.

Sweetie: It’s twice as important.

MoonCat: And you mentioned “cat” not at all. Nice to know where we rank in the bulldog kingdom.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Meeting of Minds – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I heard the chickens talking. I think they are planning something.

Me: What could they possibly be planning that would bother y’all?

Doodlebug: They could sneak up and jump on our backs and ride us the way cowboys ride horses.

Me: I’m not saying impossible. I will say unlikely.

Sweetie: You never can tell with chickens. They’re sneaky little boogers. If they’re meeting, they’re plotting.

MoonCat: I find chickens to be sociable, intelligent, and companionable creatures. I also find them to be sneaky little boogers.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Pecking in the Dirt – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. That other fella is Roo-Roo the Rooster. He is not a bulldog.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come he keeps hitting the dirt with his pointy mouth?

Me: He’s looking for something to eat.

Doodlebug: But those big food bowls are right over there. Why work so hard to find nothing?

Me: There’s always hope.

MoonCat: You will never find tunafish by pecking in the dirt. Just saving you some time. You’re welcome.

©️ 2026. H J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Watch Out for the Weird – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, we have figured out everything.

Me: I can’t wait to hear.

Sweetie: Keep your feet on the ground.

Doodlebug: Taste the air.

Sweetie: Keep your nose to the sky.

Doodlebug: Wear your hat.

Sweetie: Perk your ears.

Doodlebug: Keep your eyes open.

Sweetie: If it looks weird…

Doodlebug: Tastes weird…

Sweetie: Smells weird…

Doodlebug: Sounds weird…

Sweetie: Feels weird…

Sweetie & Doodlebug: Then, that ‘s right. It’s weird!

MoonCat: So, if you’re a bulldog, roll in it, lick it, bathe in it, sleep on it. Celebrate!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Free Speech for Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have something to say.

Me: Why should today be any different?

Sweetie: Dogs need free speech! We are constantly being told to quiet down. Free speech! Free speech!

Doodlebug: Yeah! Hear what I’m thinking! Free speech! Free speech!

Me: Since when does loud barking constitute free speech?

MoonCat: Oh, Lady Human, really?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Who Pulled the Plug? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

KABOOM!

Doodlebug: Who said that?

Sweetie: The humans are acting up again.

Me: Nope. You know a thunderstorm when you hear one. That was a lightning strike very close by.

Sweetie: So humans are not tapping at the windows with their pointy fingers.

Me: That’s heavy rain AND we just lost power.

Sweetie: Turn on the lights and search for it.

Me: No power. No light.

Doodlebug: What about food? Please, Lady Human! Do we have food?

Me: Yes. Your stomachs are fine.

Sweetie: What about the Big Picture Box?

Me: None of that until the electricity comes back on.

MoonCat: Wow! Talk about your off button.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Click Bait – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: So boring. Wait! Wow! What is that?

Me: What is what?

Sweetie: That right there on the Big Picture Box. Nope. It’s gone. Wait! What’s that? And that? And now that?

Doodlebug: Don’t be so human, Sweetie. Stick with one thing for a while. Wait! Go back to that picture! I’ve got to bark at it.

MoonCat: Where is that off button when you need it?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.