Human Frowning – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human is frowning. Human frowning is never a good thing.

Doodlebug: She’s frowning at the little black box. The little black box is never a good thing.

Sweetie: Ma’am, is everything all right?

Me: Oh. Yeah. The phone service has been disrupted. That’s all.

Sweetie: If it’s not working right, turn it off. It has one of those buttons, doesn’t it?

Doodlebug: Turn it off and that will stop your frown, too.

MoonCat: Just goes to show, if it can be turned off, it doesn’t rule the world.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Name Calling – Part 2 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what is a good ugly name to call Roo-Roo the Rooster?

Me: I’m not sure there are any “good” ugly names.

Sweetie: If he can yell at me, I can yell at him.

Doodlebug: How about calling him what he called us? BULLDOG!

Sweetie: Yeah! That’ll teach him a lesson!

MoonCat: And what lesson, pray tell, would that be? Oh, I know. That bulldogs have a limited vocabulary.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Name Calling – Part 1 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Roo-Roo the Rooster was yelling at me!

Me: Maybe he was only saying hello very loudly.

Sweetie: Nobody says hello that loud! He was calling me an ugly name!

Me: And what ugly name, pray tell, was that?

Sweetie: BULLDOG!

Doodlebug: How rude!

MoonCat: How accurate.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Too Much Information – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, too much human talk is being thrown around.

Doodlebug: Yes. For example, we don’t know or care why the egg blew up. Talking about it just makes us think about it more and worry.

Sweetie: Yes, ma’am. Stop talking and spend the time making sure eggs stay in their shells.

MoonCat: Maybe that fella has some ideas.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Exploding Egg – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Whoa! Loud noise! Loud noise! Run around in circles!

Me: Calm down. An egg exploded. That’s all.

Sweetie: How come? Where? How dare an egg act up like that!

Me: I’m boiling some eggs and one of them blew its top. Literally. You see, there’s a little pocket of air inside the eggshell and when it heats up, it can…

Doodlebug: No explanation necessary, Lady Human. Really. No explanation.

MoonCat: Just don’t let it happen again.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Sense – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. It’s raining, Lady Human!

Me: Yes, I noticed.

Sweetie: It’s raining hard!

Me: Right again!

Sweetie: Look at Roo-Roo the Rooster. He’s all dry! How come he gets to be all dry?

Me: He’s standing under his doorway. He has the good sense to stay in out of the rain.

Doodlebug: So why are we all standing out in it?

MoonCat: Some of us have more chicken sense than bulldog sense.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Walls – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: We have an idea, Lady Human.

Me: Uh-oh.

Doodlebug: It’s a great idea. You can punch a big bulldog-sized hole in the wall so that we can go out and come in all night long and you won’t even know.

Me: And so can all the other local roaming visitors like possums and skunks and rats and snakes…

Sweetie: Whoa whoa whoa!

Me: …and raccoons and coyotes and…

Doodlebug: Very well then. Nevermind. We were just trying to help.

MoonCat: Occasionally, the humans do have a good idea.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Looking – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why are you sitting, looking outside?

Me: Sometimes I just look.

Doodlebug: But you’ve looked at it all before.

Me: Sometimes I notice something new that’s always been there.

Sweetie: Sounds like you weren’t paying attention.

Doodlebug: Dogs pay attention. It’s dangerous not to.

MoonCat: Sounds like she’s paying attention now.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Some Lines Must Be Drawn – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, we need our own bathroom inside the house.

Doodlebug: Going outside at all hours is too inconvenient for us and for you.

Me: No. No. Absolutely not. A line has to be drawn sometimes and this is one of those lines.

Sweetie: How come? MoonCat gets her potty in the house.

Me: Cats are different.

MoonCat: Amen to that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Hoot and a Holler – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I don’t give a hoot nor a holler about all that stuff on TV. I need something funny to watch.

Sweetie: Hoot?

Doodlebug: Holler?

Me: Yeah, like when people are laughing or cutting up.

Sweetie : Cutting up?

Doodlebug: This is just getting more confusing.

MoonCat: Welcome to my bulldog world.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hankering – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come your head is stuck all the way inside the big cold box?

Me: I’ve got a hankering for something to eat, but I don’t know what.

Sweetie: Can I have a hankering? It sounds delicious.

Doodlebug: Me, too! Me, too! Are hankerings crunchy?

Me: The hankering is your want-to. The desire. The hunger.

Doodlebug: I’ve got all of that.

Sweetie: Yeah, hand it over, whatever it is.

MoonCat: Be careful what you hanker after.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Running of the Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, your nose is wet. My nose is wet. We are twins. Hey, your nose is bubbling. Not fair. Where are my bubbles?

Me: I guess we aren’t twins after all.

Doodlebug: My nose is dry. Not fair.

Me: Don’t worry. You’re not missing a thing. Running noses are nothing to sneeze at.

Doodlebug: Noses can run off?

MoonCat: If a nose starts to run off, just let it go.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Minutes of the Meeting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: So how did your meeting go? Did you keep minutes?

Sweetie: Minutes? No. Isn’t that one of those human clock things?

Me: What did you do during the meeting?

Doodlebug: I started it, but then I fell asleep so…

Sweetie: My paw itched and I licked it. Then I looked around the room. Then MoonCat got up and stretched and I called her out of order. I like calling stuff out of order.

MoonCat: Not half as much as I like being out of order.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Official Pack Meeting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. I hereby call the Pack meeting to order.

Me: Okay, what’s happening now?

Sweetie: Doodlebug, MoonCat, and me present. The parakeets are observing.

Baby and Bud: Ack ack!

Sweetie: No, you don’t get to talk. Out of order.

MoonCat: Yes, out of order. The very definition of a bulldog-led anything.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Running Off at the Mouth – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why is the sun so bright? Doodlebug stinks. MoonCat is too far over on the cushion. And ..

Me: Sweetie, you’re running off at the mouth again.

Sweetie: I haven’t run off anywhere. I’m right here. And…

Me: I mean that you’re complaining too much.

Sweetie: Are you saying I have a big mouth? Well, the Great Creator made my mouth big for a reason, so I figure He means for me to use it.

MoonCat: And He made my teeth sharp. So I figure He means for me to use them when needed. Get my point?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tumped Over – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa there! Don’t put your foot on the rim of that bucket.

Sweetie: What bucket should I put my foot on?

Me: No bucket at all. It could get tumped over.

Doodlebug: Tumped over? Cool!

Me: No, not cool. It would make yet another mess to clean up.

Sweetie: What can I tump over then?

MoonCat: It’s not the tumping. It’s the mess. Tump something empty all you want to, but stay away from my tunafish.

Sweetie: Great! Thanks!

Me: Wait just a doggone minute. Who’s in charge here?

MoonCat: Oh, Lady Human, that question was answered a long time ago.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Staring Contest – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s going on? Are y’all having a staring contest?

Sweetie: Shhhh! We’re having a staring contest.

Me: That’s what I thought. As long as it doesn’t turn into bulldog fight.

Doodlebug: Why would we interrupt a staring contest with a fight?

Sweetie: Yeah, we can’t fight with our eyes. Can we?

Doodlebug: Don’t look at me like that!

Sweetie: Don’t you look at me like that!

Me: Break it up. Contest over.

MoonCat: I win.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Indoor Fireworks! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the big fan is off.

Me: I know. Tall Man is checking the breaker box. He thinks there’s a problem with a bearing.

Doodlebug: Breaker. Box. Bearing. Huh?

POP!

Sweetie: Whoa! Whoa! Sparks from the fan! Fireworks inside! No way! Not allowed!

Baby and Bud: Aaacckk! Aaacckk! Cool! Pretty!

Me: It’s okay. Just some sparks. They’re out now. Goodbye, ceiling fan.

Doodlebug: Fans don’t shoot off fireworks. Even I know that.

MoonCat: Oh, the joys of human invention!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.