Hot Gossip Soup – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Ma’am, you’ve been on that little phone box a long time.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come humans talk so much about other humans?

Me: I don’t know.

Doodlebug: Are other humans interesting?

Me: Not really that, but we do like to express our opinions.

Sweetie: Does it help to talk about humans? ‘Cuz it doesn’t help me to listen to it. Too many wordy words.

MoonCat: Mix it up, stir it real good, and out comes a yucky soup that even a bulldog won’t eat. You won’t catch me gossiping, except about bulldogges.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Canaries in the Mine – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stinky Air! Not my fault!

Sweetie: Well, this time anyway. What’s that smell, ma’am?

Me: We’ve had to have the yard sprayed for fleas. Some of the smell wafted in. I have to keep the budgies covered until it settles down.

Baby and Bud: ACCCKKK! We prefer our oxygen fresh. We will keep a nose watch.

Doodlebug: We don’t have fleas!

Me: No, but some local varmints do. Part of the price of living in this wide, wonderful world.

MoonCat: Wide, wonderful, stinky, varmint and flea-ridden world. Yes. Welcome.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Out the Wazoo – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those humans on the Big Picture Box are talking silly again. They said something was “out the wazoo”. Does that mean outside?

Me: In a way, yes.

Doodlebug: What’s a wazoo?

Me: Let me put it this way. Everyone has one.

MoonCat: Seems imminently fair to me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Total Stranger – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Baby and Bud: Aaaccckkk! Human walking! Strange human walking through!

Sweetie: Yeah, but Lady Human let her in so it’s okay. Chill out, birdies.

MoonCat: Bet nobody else has watchbirds.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Budgie House Cleaning – Part 2 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Huuumaaaan!

Me: Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.

Sweetie: Look at the budgies’ house. All that cleaning you did. Where is it?

Doodlebug: They scattered seeds and shells all over the floors, theirs and ours.

Baby and Bud: Where were we supposed to scatter them?

MoonCat: I love practical minded birds.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Budgie House Cleaning – Part 1 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, stand back a little. It’s budgie housecleaning day.

Sweetie: Can I help?

Me: Yes, by standing back.

Baby and Bud: Accckk! We pooped over there.

Me: Yes, I noticed.

Sweetie: How come the birds get to poop in their house, but we have to go outside?

Me: You can’t fly.

Doodlebug: No fair. MoonCat can’t fly and she gets to go in the house.

MoonCat: Excuse me, bulldogs. I have well-developed bathroom habits. Think about trying that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What’s Going Into Your Ears? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: She’s plugged in again.

Doodlebug: Lady Human, what goes into your ears when you plug those things into your ears?

Sweetie: Yeah, we keep our ears open so they can, you know, be ears.

Me: Right now, it’s music.

Doodlebug: Ew! No! That human screechy stuff.

MoonCat: She didn’t have a recording of bulldog screechy stuff. She had to make do.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Porch Guard – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Buggdogges. What are you doing sitting out there, Lady Human? And what are we doing sitting here watching you?

Me: Tall Man asked me to watch the car while he’s working on something. He gave it a good cleaning and it has to dry out. That’s why its doors are open.

Doodlebug: It looks like a bird with four wings spread.

Sweetie: So you’re a guard of cars like we are of chickens.

Me: Chickens are more fun to watch.

Sweetie: Shouldn’t we have badges?

MoonCat: Where would we pin them?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Have an Egg Sandwich – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How did you make those eggs go flat, Lady Human?

Me: I cracked them open over a heated pan and fried them.

Sweetie: Mmmmm. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! And that flat stuff on the outside.

Me: Bread? You want an egg sandwich?

MoonCat: Does that question even need to be asked?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Rain, Rain, Don’t Go Away! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the rain! The rain!

Me: Yeah, it’s great. First rain in quite a while.

Sweetie: But my poor wet tootsies.

Me: They can dry just fine in the house. We need the water.

Sweetie: I have water in my bowl.

Me: And where did that come from?

Doodlebug: You turned on that long metal thing over the sink.

Me: And before that?

MoonCat: It’s a deep, dark secret that only the humans know…Oh, wait…

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Return of the Possum! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what’s this mess?

Me: Oh, great! Some varmint has pulled a sack of bread into the yard.

Sweetie: Whoever did it has bad breath.

Me: More than likely a possum.

Sweetie: No! Not again.! Trespasser! You just wait til I track your grabby little feet.

Me: I guess the bread wasn’t that good. She wouldn’t have left it.

MoonCat: How dare anyone leave their rejected snacks in our yard! At least leave something we like.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Stopped Up Ears – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. You have stuff coming out of your ears, Lady Human.

Sweetie: Yeah, long, stringy stuff.

Me: Huh? Oh, sorry. What was that?

Sweetie: It’s only those things she plugs her ears up with.

Doodlebug: Her noise boxes.

MoonCat: Oh, may I please have some?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Chaser – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s all the commotion?

Sweetie: Help, Lady Human! That wild crazy chicken is chasing me!

Me: Were you messing with her nest?

Sweetie: No. Yes. Maybe. There was an egg. I like eggs.

MoonCat: That’s why I stay in a chicken-free zone. Less temptation.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Food Focus – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s for lunch today?

Sweetie: Same as every day. Food.

Me: I’ll have a sandwich.

Doodlebug: Me, too.

Sweetie: Me, three.

Me: Uh-oh.

MoonCat: Lady Human? Did you bring enough for everyone?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Freshness Guarantee – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yuck!

Sweetie: Something is wrong in our bowls.

Doodlebug: Yeah. Yuck. Stale and stinky. Your job, Lady Human.

Me: They look fine.

Sweetie: Looks don’t count. Smell them.

Me: No, thank you. All you talk about lately is food. I’ll get you something different.

MoonCat: That is the appropriate response.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Food Smacking Good – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human? Hint, hint.

Me: I know. It’s just about eating time again.

Sweetie: Notice how ready my mouth is.

Me: No drooling on the floor. Wait for your bowl.

MoonCat: Once the food smacking starts, it’s too late. Watch your step.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Running on Empty – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: You look tired, Lady Human. Didn’t you sleep well? We did.

Me: I’m trying a change in my diet and I haven’t eaten yet today.

Doodlebug: Diet? That sounds like a bad word.

Me: No, diet just has to do with the food you eat.

Sweetie: FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!

MoonCat: Uh-oh! Now you’ve flipped that switch on.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.