Just a Little Outing  – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why are we going in the rolling box?

Me: Just a little outing.

Doodlebug: What are all these rolling boxes around us? They are huge. And they’re so close.

Me: Traffic. Lots of people in town this week.

Sweetie: But why our town? Hey, humans! Go home!

Me: Now that’s kind of rude.

Sweetie: We’re not the ones traipsing around someone else’s property. Go home, traipsers!

MoonCat: I was invited to go, but I opted to stay home. Now you see why.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The “Ermmm” Noise   – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why are you making the “ermmm” noise over and over again?

Me: Ermmm! I’m trying to enter this information and it’s not working.

Sweetie: Ermmm! I hate when that happens. Try stomping on it with both feet.

Me: I don’t think that will help. I’m pressing this button and that one over and over again and nothing works.

MoonCat: You mean humans made something that doesn’t work? Don’t answer that. I already know. Ermmm! Try stomping on it with both feet. It won’t help, but you may feel better.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Knowing When to Run – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. I ‘m sitting right here. Nobody tells me when to move.

Me: You’ll want to move when that lawn mower gets close.

Sweetie: Aw, that thing doesn’t scare us. It just cuts the long-haired grass and throws rocks and little sticks around…and makes the worst noise ever and…RUN!

MoonCat: If you see it coming, just amble away. No running required.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Never Running Late – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What are you doing, Lady Human?

Me: I’m running late. That’s what I’m doing.

Doodlebug: But you’re not running.

Sweetie: And what is “late”? Is this one of those human clock words? Why don’t you give all those up?

Doodlebug: Yeah, be like us. You’re not late so long as our stomachs aren’t rumbling.

MoonCat: Yes, forget all else. Bulldog stomachs come first at all times.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Power Struggle – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, my fan is not working.

Me: Nothing’s working. Power went out.

Sweetie: Call it back in. I need my fan.

Me: The electricity is off. The power company is working on it.

Sweetie: But my fan isn’t turning. Blow on it, ma’am. You have lots of air.

MoonCat: Fans and electricity. You only think about them when they’re gone.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Guard Duty – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what do you mean our neighbor had her shed broken into?

Me: I mean somebody broke the lock on her shed and rummaged around inside.

Doodlebug: Did a bulldog do it? Cuz I’ll teach ’em not to!

Me: I seriously doubt that a dog was responsible.

Sweetie: We have to stand guard.

Me: Thanks for the offer, but y’all aren’t staying outside all night.

Sweetie: Not all night, ma’am. Just when the shed breaker comes.

MoonCat: Yep, that’ll work. Set the clock.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Tree that Laid Down – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, look, look, look!

Sweetie: That huge tree is taking a nap over there.

Me: Oh, no. The neighbor’s tree fell. But it didn’t hit their house or anything else from the looks of it.

Sweetie: Why did it take a nap now? It never has before.

Me: I don’t know. No wind. No storm.

Doodlebug: Sometimes you just have to lie down and rest.

MoonCat: I make a regular habit of it.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Huggable – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why do humans throw their arms around things and squeeze them? It’s not very pleasant.

Me: We hug people and animals to show affection and comfort, a connection, support. How do you feel if I put my arms around you like this?

Sweetie: Trapped.

Doodlebug: You’re okay, Sweetie. I’m watching your back. No threat detected.

MoonCat: Just so we’re clear, Lady Human, don’t even think about it.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Spoil Sport – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stop sitting on my stuffie toy! You’ve got your own!

Sweetie: Who says I’m sitting on your toy?

Me: I do. You may have a large posterior, but I can see the edge of the toy sticking out from under you.

Sweetie: Please don’t interfere, Lady Human.

Me: Human in charge. Not interfering. Doing my job.

Sweetie: Spoil sport.

MoonCat: My sympathy goes to the poor ole stuffie. Can you imagine being sat on by a bulldog? Agghh, the horror!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Game of Sit and Stare – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: You’re doing it again, both of you. The Sit and Stare. I don’t mind as long as there’s no biting.

Sweetie: But sometimes Doodle looks at me with that look in his eyes and I get so mad that I have to…

Me: No, you don’t! I sit and stare at you both all the time. Is that all right?

Doodlebug: Sure.

Sweetie: Always.

Me: Do you ever feel like biting my face?

Doodlebug: Nope.

Sweetie: Never.

MoonCat: You don’t have a bulldog face or stare, Lady Human. Be grateful.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

BORED! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Here I am.

Me: Yep.

Sweetie: Sitting here.

Me: I can see that.

Sweetie: Nothing going on.

Me: Not much anyway.

Sweetie: BORED!

Me: Bored out of your gourd?

Doodlebug: What’s a gourd? Can I have one to be bored out of?

MoonCat: I’ll take a side of calm with my serving of boredom. You can keep the gourd.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Illiterate Mice – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, about that poem “To a Mouse” you talked about, can mice read those ink scratches humans make on paper? ‘Cause I can’t and it’s not fair if they can.

Me: No, mice are as illiterate as bulldogs. You haven’t missed out.

Sweetie: That’s good! No mouse can ever be one up on a bulldog.

MoonCat: Yeah, I lay around all the time worrying about being one upped by a mouse. It’s one of my great fears in life.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, part of the tiny house fell off! Fix it! Fix it!

Me: The shed? Yeah, we have to put that right. Well, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”, as a famous poet once said.

Sweetie: Was that a human? Sounds like it.

Me: Yeah, a Scottish man named Robert Burns wrote a poem entitled “To a Mouse”.

Sweetie: That causes problems. Never talk to mice. And never ever write to them.

Doodlebug: Of course mice plans go wrong. And as for humans…well…there’s that shed.

MoonCat: I wouldn’t pick on mice or humans too much, bulldogs. There’s plenty of “awry” to go around.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Swelter Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa! It’s sweltering out there. I’m going to sit in here and do nothing.

Sweetie: You do that all the time anyway. Why is today different?

Me: As I said, I’m sweltering.

Sweetie: There! You are doing something! Congratulations, Lady Human!

MoonCat: However, sweltering is a low level activity.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Shiny Human Faces – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, your face is all shiny.

Me: Is it?

Doodlebug: Yeah, it’s kind of drippy, too.

Me: It’s pretty hot outside.

Sweetie: So the sun shines and makes your face shine.

Me: Sort of. Not in the same way though. Mine is sweat.

Sweetie: Ew. Yuck. Get rid of it.

Doodlebug: Wipe it off.

MoonCat: And here I thought you were trying a new facial cream.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

On Tiptoe – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come MoonCat can walk around on top of everything in the house and we can’t hardly get on a cushion?

Me: Y’all do fine getting on chairs. It’s just that MoonCat is lighter and more flexible.

Doodlebug: We have big flat feet. She walks on her tiptoes.

MoonCat: Like a ballerina. Allow me to take a bow.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Run Amok – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa! Slow down, y’all! Where are you running in such a hurry?

Sweetie: Running here! Running there! Running, running everywhere!

Me: Yeah, running amok.

Doodlebug: Amok?

Sweetie: Where? Where is Amok?

Doodlebug: I want to run to Amok!

MoonCat: Too late. You’re already there.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.