“Eventually, all leaves fade and fall.”
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – Comes the Fall
Have an Egg Sandwich – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: How did you make those eggs go flat, Lady Human?
Me: I cracked them open over a heated pan and fried them.
Sweetie: Mmmmm. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! And that flat stuff on the outside.
Me: Bread? You want an egg sandwich?
MoonCat: Does that question even need to be asked?
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Rain, Rain, Don’t Go Away! – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, the rain! The rain!
Me: Yeah, it’s great. First rain in quite a while.
Sweetie: But my poor wet tootsies.
Me: They can dry just fine in the house. We need the water.
Sweetie: I have water in my bowl.
Me: And where did that come from?
Doodlebug: You turned on that long metal thing over the sink.
Me: And before that?
MoonCat: It’s a deep, dark secret that only the humans know…Oh, wait…
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
The Return of the Possum! – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what’s this mess?
Me: Oh, great! Some varmint has pulled a sack of bread into the yard.
Sweetie: Whoever did it has bad breath.
Me: More than likely a possum.
Sweetie: No! Not again.! Trespasser! You just wait til I track your grabby little feet.
Me: I guess the bread wasn’t that good. She wouldn’t have left it.
MoonCat: How dare anyone leave their rejected snacks in our yard! At least leave something we like.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.
Stopped Up Ears – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. You have stuff coming out of your ears, Lady Human.
Sweetie: Yeah, long, stringy stuff.
Me: Huh? Oh, sorry. What was that?
Sweetie: It’s only those things she plugs her ears up with.
Doodlebug: Her noise boxes.
MoonCat: Oh, may I please have some?
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Chicken Chaser – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: What’s all the commotion?
Sweetie: Help, Lady Human! That wild crazy chicken is chasing me!
Me: Were you messing with her nest?
Sweetie: No. Yes. Maybe. There was an egg. I like eggs.
MoonCat: That’s why I stay in a chicken-free zone. Less temptation.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Food Focus – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: What’s for lunch today?
Sweetie: Same as every day. Food.
Me: I’ll have a sandwich.
Doodlebug: Me, too.
Sweetie: Me, three.
Me: Uh-oh.
MoonCat: Lady Human? Did you bring enough for everyone?
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – Sleepytime
“When sleepytime comes, SLEEP! Ignore the loud mouths.”
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Freshness Guarantee – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yuck!
Sweetie: Something is wrong in our bowls.
Doodlebug: Yeah. Yuck. Stale and stinky. Your job, Lady Human.
Me: They look fine.
Sweetie: Looks don’t count. Smell them.
Me: No, thank you. All you talk about lately is food. I’ll get you something different.
MoonCat: That is the appropriate response.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Food Smacking Good – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human? Hint, hint.
Me: I know. It’s just about eating time again.
Sweetie: Notice how ready my mouth is.
Me: No drooling on the floor. Wait for your bowl.
MoonCat: Once the food smacking starts, it’s too late. Watch your step.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Running on Empty – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: You look tired, Lady Human. Didn’t you sleep well? We did.
Me: I’m trying a change in my diet and I haven’t eaten yet today.
Doodlebug: Diet? That sounds like a bad word.
Me: No, diet just has to do with the food you eat.
Sweetie: FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!
MoonCat: Uh-oh! Now you’ve flipped that switch on.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Fine Print – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: What’s that, Lady Human?
Me: I don’t see anything.
Doodlebug: An animal stepped there. Can’t you smell it?
Me: No, fine-tuned scenting is not my specialty. Oh, I see it now. Probably a stray cat walked through here.
MoonCat: What humans call “reading the fine print”.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Knock Knock Knocking – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. WHO’S THERE?
Sweetie: Lady Human, please stop that human from using their knuckles the wrong way.
Me: What is going on? That’s about 25 knocks. No! I’m not opening to a stranger!
Sweetie: I can use my knuckles on them.
Me: No, if they have legitimate business, they can call or leave a note.
MoonCat: Waking me up from my nap! I would like to leave them a note! Wait until they see what I write my notes with.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Hitting a Snag – Conversations with the Big Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, please tell Bud the Budgie to yell quieter.
Me: He is sounding insistent, isn’t he? What is it, Bud? Oh, Baby has caught a toenail on the cloth curtain. Here. Let me just…
Doodlebug: She’s free!
Me: Thank you for the heads up, Bud. Manicure time.
Sweetie: Nope.
Doodlebug: No way.
MoonCat: Oh, all right. I promise I won’t clip you too close.
©️ 2026. H.J.Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – In Plain Sight
“Always walk with your eyes open. Avoid as many bad surprises as possible.”
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
A Feather on My Pen – Conversations with the Big Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, your writing stick is fuzzy.
Me: I just noticed that. There’s a little budgie feather stuck on the nib.
Sweetie: Baby and Bud, you have been careless with your feathers again.
Baby: We didn’t need it…
Bud: So we threw it away.
MoonCat: Welcome to Fall. As in feathers do fall. More to come.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
A Crick in the Neck – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, your head is sitting weird on your body.
Me: Something weird? Then everything’s normal.
Doodlebug: Is your head leaning because it’s too heavy? Because mine is.
Me: I’ve got a crick in my neck.
Sweetie: One of those singing bugs? Let me at him!
MoonCat: A bulldog jumping on your neck? Just say ‘no’, ma’am. That won’t help cricks or crickets.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Money Hugging Humans – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, you and Tall Man were talking, talking, talking about that stuff you call ‘money’.
Me: Yeah, it’s a big subject.
Doodlebug: Yeah, you carry it in your hands and clothes everywhere. You and money are very close.
Sweetie: How come? Can you eat it?
Me: No, but you can buy stuff to eat with it. And stuff to wear. And stuff to play with. And places to live. And things to drive. And…
Sweetie: Can we have some?
Me: No. Mine. All mine.
MoonCat: Oh, my. The humans are in love.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
The Wandering Mind – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human…Lady Human?
Doodlebug: Put your foot on her.
Sweetie: LADY HUMAN!
Me: Oh, sorry. I was somewhere else.
Doodlebug: No, you were right here in front of us. We saw you.
Me: I mean my mind was wandering.
Sweetie: Then let’s hurry and go find it. It needs to come home.
MoonCat: Maybe put a leash on it.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Our Precious Junk – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, somebody took a bunch of our stuff from the outside back and piled it on the outside front.
Sweetie: Yeah, our precious stuff.
Me: That’s junk for the big trash truck to take away.
Sweetie: Our precious junk.
Me: It’s old. It’s broken. It’s rusty.
MoonCat: But Lady Human, just because something is old, broken, and rusty doesn’t mean it’s not precious.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
