Let’s All Bark Together – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ma’am, I’m tired of caterwauling and catcalling and turning cattywampus and headed cattycornered.  Can we all have a good old-fashioned dog bark?

Me: Sure. Why not?

Sweetie: Just barking, all saying the same thing, all at the same time.

Me: Let’s do it. Everybody saying the same thing.

Doodlebug: And everybody stay in tune.

MoonCat: Forgive me if I sit this one out. No matter how hard I try, which I don’t, I simply cannot pull off a bulldog baritone.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stop the Caterwauling! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the humans are yelling again, hurting my ears!

Me: Mine, too! I’ve never heard such caterwauling. I’m turning it off.

Sweetie: Another bad cat habit picked up by humans.

Baby and Bud: AACCCKK! AACCCKK!

Doodlebug: Now the birds are doing it.

MoonCat: I never caterwaul. It’s beneath my dignity. Too bad the same can’t be said of humans.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cat Calls – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, the Picture Box people are mad because a cat called them. If a cat called me, I’d probably be mad, too.

Me: They’re describing a certain rude human behavior as catcalling. It has not a thing to do with real cats.

Sweetie: There go the humans talking about cats again! Dogs can make rude calls, too!

MoonCat: Why do humans blame their own bad behavior on cats? As for me, I never make random, anonymous calls. I have better manners than that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Catty Cornered – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why so many cat words? Catty cornered?

Me: Catty cornered has nothing to do with cats. It’s about diagonal positions, not cats.

Sweetie: Then why not say “doggy cornered”?

MoonCat: Give us our due. Humans like to talk about us even when they’re not talking about us.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cats and Their Boxes – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why do cats have boxes?

Me: They like them. They feel comfortable with them.

Doodlebug: Why don’t we have boxes?

Me: You’ve never been interested.

Sweetie: We could get interested. How about getting us a bathroom box?

MoonCat: Is there a litterbox in the whole world big enough for a bulldog? Stick with the great outdoors.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Everything’s Gone Cattywampus – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Look at this mess!

Sweetie: Okay.

Doodlebug: I’m looking.

Me: This whole thing has gone cattywampus and I don’t know how to fix it.

Sweetie: Catty what?

Doodlebug: Wampus where?

Me: Messed up. Fouled up. Not right at all.

MoonCat: This catty didn’t do it and my wampus is just fine, thank you.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Why Do Humans Play with Fire? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why did you all set that cake on fire?

Me: Birthday party.

Sweetie: So? Why be mean to a cake?

Me: We didn’t burn the cake. The candles are just a tradition. A celebration.

Sweetie: Like when you shoot fire into the air to blow up the sky?

Me: Well, yeah.

MoonCat: The humans are crazy. Hide the matches.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Turn the Air Conditioner Off – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, turn the cold box off.

Sweetie: Yeah, enough is enough already.

Me: A/C’s not on.

Sweetie: Where’s the cold coming from?

Me: The outside.

Doodlebug: Does the sky have a great big cold box in it? Why didn’t it turn on during the hot days?

Me: This is that seasonal change that happens at the same time every year. The air will be cooler now for awhile.

MoonCat:  I think it would be better if we had our own buttons to turn the cold off and on in the sky. What could possibly go wrong with that?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

No Peeking! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, retract your nose. The budgies are settled down.

Sweetie: I was just checking to see what they are doing.

Me: Once the curtain is in place, no peeking. The light bothers them. Let them sleep.

MoonCat: So that’s what I’ve been needing. Lady Human, put in my order – one cat curtain, bulldog proof.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Puffed Up – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Baby the Budgie is all proud of herself. She’s puffed her feathers out.

Me: Parakeets do that for different reasons.

Baby and Bud: They’re OUR feathers, so we do what we want!

MoonCat: Sounds puffed up to me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hot Gossip Soup – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Ma’am, you’ve been on that little phone box a long time.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come humans talk so much about other humans?

Me: I don’t know.

Doodlebug: Are other humans interesting?

Me: Not really that, but we do like to express our opinions.

Sweetie: Does it help to talk about humans? ‘Cuz it doesn’t help me to listen to it. Too many wordy words.

MoonCat: Mix it up, stir it real good, and out comes a yucky soup that even a bulldog won’t eat. You won’t catch me gossiping, except about bulldogges.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Canaries in the Mine – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stinky Air! Not my fault!

Sweetie: Well, this time anyway. What’s that smell, ma’am?

Me: We’ve had to have the yard sprayed for fleas. Some of the smell wafted in. I have to keep the budgies covered until it settles down.

Baby and Bud: ACCCKKK! We prefer our oxygen fresh. We will keep a nose watch.

Doodlebug: We don’t have fleas!

Me: No, but some local varmints do. Part of the price of living in this wide, wonderful world.

MoonCat: Wide, wonderful, stinky, varmint and flea-ridden world. Yes. Welcome.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Out the Wazoo – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those humans on the Big Picture Box are talking silly again. They said something was “out the wazoo”. Does that mean outside?

Me: In a way, yes.

Doodlebug: What’s a wazoo?

Me: Let me put it this way. Everyone has one.

MoonCat: Seems imminently fair to me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Total Stranger – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Baby and Bud: Aaaccckkk! Human walking! Strange human walking through!

Sweetie: Yeah, but Lady Human let her in so it’s okay. Chill out, birdies.

MoonCat: Bet nobody else has watchbirds.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Budgie House Cleaning – Part 2 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Huuumaaaan!

Me: Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.

Sweetie: Look at the budgies’ house. All that cleaning you did. Where is it?

Doodlebug: They scattered seeds and shells all over the floors, theirs and ours.

Baby and Bud: Where were we supposed to scatter them?

MoonCat: I love practical minded birds.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Budgie House Cleaning – Part 1 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, stand back a little. It’s budgie housecleaning day.

Sweetie: Can I help?

Me: Yes, by standing back.

Baby and Bud: Accckk! We pooped over there.

Me: Yes, I noticed.

Sweetie: How come the birds get to poop in their house, but we have to go outside?

Me: You can’t fly.

Doodlebug: No fair. MoonCat can’t fly and she gets to go in the house.

MoonCat: Excuse me, bulldogs. I have well-developed bathroom habits. Think about trying that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What’s Going Into Your Ears? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: She’s plugged in again.

Doodlebug: Lady Human, what goes into your ears when you plug those things into your ears?

Sweetie: Yeah, we keep our ears open so they can, you know, be ears.

Me: Right now, it’s music.

Doodlebug: Ew! No! That human screechy stuff.

MoonCat: She didn’t have a recording of bulldog screechy stuff. She had to make do.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Porch Guard – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Buggdogges. What are you doing sitting out there, Lady Human? And what are we doing sitting here watching you?

Me: Tall Man asked me to watch the car while he’s working on something. He gave it a good cleaning and it has to dry out. That’s why its doors are open.

Doodlebug: It looks like a bird with four wings spread.

Sweetie: So you’re a guard of cars like we are of chickens.

Me: Chickens are more fun to watch.

Sweetie: Shouldn’t we have badges?

MoonCat: Where would we pin them?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.