Walls – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: We have an idea, Lady Human.

Me: Uh-oh.

Doodlebug: It’s a great idea. You can punch a big bulldog-sized hole in the wall so that we can go out and come in all night long and you won’t even know.

Me: And so can all the other local roaming visitors like possums and skunks and rats and snakes…

Sweetie: Whoa whoa whoa!

Me: …and raccoons and coyotes and…

Doodlebug: Very well then. Nevermind. We were just trying to help.

MoonCat: Occasionally, the humans do have a good idea.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Looking – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why are you sitting, looking outside?

Me: Sometimes I just look.

Doodlebug: But you’ve looked at it all before.

Me: Sometimes I notice something new that’s always been there.

Sweetie: Sounds like you weren’t paying attention.

Doodlebug: Dogs pay attention. It’s dangerous not to.

MoonCat: Sounds like she’s paying attention now.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Some Lines Must Be Drawn – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, we need our own bathroom inside the house.

Doodlebug: Going outside at all hours is too inconvenient for us and for you.

Me: No. No. Absolutely not. A line has to be drawn sometimes and this is one of those lines.

Sweetie: How come? MoonCat gets her potty in the house.

Me: Cats are different.

MoonCat: Amen to that.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Hoot and a Holler – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I don’t give a hoot nor a holler about all that stuff on TV. I need something funny to watch.

Sweetie: Hoot?

Doodlebug: Holler?

Me: Yeah, like when people are laughing or cutting up.

Sweetie : Cutting up?

Doodlebug: This is just getting more confusing.

MoonCat: Welcome to my bulldog world.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hankering – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come your head is stuck all the way inside the big cold box?

Me: I’ve got a hankering for something to eat, but I don’t know what.

Sweetie: Can I have a hankering? It sounds delicious.

Doodlebug: Me, too! Me, too! Are hankerings crunchy?

Me: The hankering is your want-to. The desire. The hunger.

Doodlebug: I’ve got all of that.

Sweetie: Yeah, hand it over, whatever it is.

MoonCat: Be careful what you hanker after.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Running of the Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, your nose is wet. My nose is wet. We are twins. Hey, your nose is bubbling. Not fair. Where are my bubbles?

Me: I guess we aren’t twins after all.

Doodlebug: My nose is dry. Not fair.

Me: Don’t worry. You’re not missing a thing. Running noses are nothing to sneeze at.

Doodlebug: Noses can run off?

MoonCat: If a nose starts to run off, just let it go.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Minutes of the Meeting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: So how did your meeting go? Did you keep minutes?

Sweetie: Minutes? No. Isn’t that one of those human clock things?

Me: What did you do during the meeting?

Doodlebug: I started it, but then I fell asleep so…

Sweetie: My paw itched and I licked it. Then I looked around the room. Then MoonCat got up and stretched and I called her out of order. I like calling stuff out of order.

MoonCat: Not half as much as I like being out of order.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Official Pack Meeting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. I hereby call the Pack meeting to order.

Me: Okay, what’s happening now?

Sweetie: Doodlebug, MoonCat, and me present. The parakeets are observing.

Baby and Bud: Ack ack!

Sweetie: No, you don’t get to talk. Out of order.

MoonCat: Yes, out of order. The very definition of a bulldog-led anything.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Running Off at the Mouth – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why is the sun so bright? Doodlebug stinks. MoonCat is too far over on the cushion. And ..

Me: Sweetie, you’re running off at the mouth again.

Sweetie: I haven’t run off anywhere. I’m right here. And…

Me: I mean that you’re complaining too much.

Sweetie: Are you saying I have a big mouth? Well, the Great Creator made my mouth big for a reason, so I figure He means for me to use it.

MoonCat: And He made my teeth sharp. So I figure He means for me to use them when needed. Get my point?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tumped Over – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa there! Don’t put your foot on the rim of that bucket.

Sweetie: What bucket should I put my foot on?

Me: No bucket at all. It could get tumped over.

Doodlebug: Tumped over? Cool!

Me: No, not cool. It would make yet another mess to clean up.

Sweetie: What can I tump over then?

MoonCat: It’s not the tumping. It’s the mess. Tump something empty all you want to, but stay away from my tunafish.

Sweetie: Great! Thanks!

Me: Wait just a doggone minute. Who’s in charge here?

MoonCat: Oh, Lady Human, that question was answered a long time ago.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Staring Contest – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s going on? Are y’all having a staring contest?

Sweetie: Shhhh! We’re having a staring contest.

Me: That’s what I thought. As long as it doesn’t turn into bulldog fight.

Doodlebug: Why would we interrupt a staring contest with a fight?

Sweetie: Yeah, we can’t fight with our eyes. Can we?

Doodlebug: Don’t look at me like that!

Sweetie: Don’t you look at me like that!

Me: Break it up. Contest over.

MoonCat: I win.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Indoor Fireworks! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the big fan is off.

Me: I know. Tall Man is checking the breaker box. He thinks there’s a problem with a bearing.

Doodlebug: Breaker. Box. Bearing. Huh?

POP!

Sweetie: Whoa! Whoa! Sparks from the fan! Fireworks inside! No way! Not allowed!

Baby and Bud: Aaacckk! Aaacckk! Cool! Pretty!

Me: It’s okay. Just some sparks. They’re out now. Goodbye, ceiling fan.

Doodlebug: Fans don’t shoot off fireworks. Even I know that.

MoonCat: Oh, the joys of human invention!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

 The Sky Broke…Again! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Aaaaaaa! What was that?

Sweetie: The sky broke! What have the humans messed up now, Lady Human?

Me: It’s a thunderstorm passing over.

Sweetie: I was asleep.

Me: So was I.

Doodlebug: Why do this at night?

Me: Atmospheric conditions.

Sweetie: Sounds like a made-up excuse for y’all to get by with something. MoonCat! Are you awake?

MoonCat: I am now.

Sweetie: The humans have cracked the sky again.

MoonCat: They broke it. They bought it. Good night.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bone to Pick – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: All right, y’all. I have a bone to pick with you. The trash bag is off limits.

Sweetie: I’ll pick a bone with you anytime, Lady Human. Where is it? Is it in the trash bag?

Me: Not a real bone.

Doodlebug: Not a bone? Then why say “bone”? Now you’ve got me thinking about bones.

Sweetie: Why do humans talk about food all the time?

MoonCat: Why do you? Which reminds me? Are there any tunafish treats left? You can keep the bones.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Chicken with a Beef – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Loud noises of the chicken kind, Lady Human. Do I need to rush to the rescue?

Me: Naw, one of the chickens has a beef with another one.

Sweetie: How did a chicken get a hamburger? And where’s mine?

Me: Not beef beef.

Doodlebug: Now I’m really confused.

MoonCat: Allow me to explain. A chicken is complaining. The humans have taken a word that makes no sense to describe that.

Sweetie: So where’s the hamburger?

MoonCat: Nevermind.

©️ 2026. H.J.Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Barking Mad – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde Engkish Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The humans are at it again!

Doodlebug: They are barking into each other’s faces.

Sweetie: How come humans complain about our barking when they are just as loud?

MoonCat: Hand out bark collars all around.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Spills and Those Who Spill Them – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I heard a big clunk, Lady Human, and now this dark wet stuff is all over the floor. AND I DIDN’T DO IT!

Me: I know you didn’t. Calm down. Tall Man knocked a bottle of cherry juice over. He’s already cleaning it up.

Doodlebug: How come he knocked it? Didn’t he like the cherry juice?

Me: Gravity helped.

Sweetie: Who’s Gravity?

MoonCat: Whoever it is, keep it away from my tunafish.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.