The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, part of the tiny house fell off! Fix it! Fix it!

Me: The shed? Yeah, we have to put that right. Well, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”, as a famous poet once said.

Sweetie: Was that a human? Sounds like it.

Me: Yeah, a Scottish man named Robert Burns wrote a poem entitled “To a Mouse”.

Sweetie: That’s causes problems. Never talk to mice. And never ever write to them.

Doodlebug: Of course mice plans go wrong. And as for humans…well…there’s that shed.

MoonCat: I wouldn’t pick on mice or humans too much, bulldogs. There’s plenty of “awry” to go around.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Swelter Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa! It’s sweltering out there. I’m going to sit in here and do nothing.

Sweetie: You do that all the time anyway. Why is today different?

Me: As I said, I’m sweltering.

Sweetie: There! You are doing something! Congratulations, Lady Human!

MoonCat: However, sweltering is a low level activity.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Shiny Human Faces – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, your face is all shiny.

Me: Is it?

Doodlebug: Yeah, it’s kind of drippy, too.

Me: It’s pretty hot outside.

Sweetie: So the sun shines and makes your face shine.

Me: Sort of. Not in the same way though. Mine is sweat.

Sweetie: Ew. Yuck. Get rid of it.

Doodlebug: Wipe it off.

MoonCat: And here I thought you were trying a new facial cream.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

On Tiptoe – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come MoonCat can walk around on top of everything in the house and we can’t hardly get on a cushion?

Me: Y’all do fine getting on chairs. It’s just that MoonCat is lighter and more flexible.

Doodlebug: We have big flat feet. She walks on her tiptoes.

MoonCat: Like a ballerina. Allow me to take a bow.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Run Amok – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Whoa! Slow down, y’all! Where are you running in such a hurry?

Sweetie: Running here! Running there! Running, running everywhere!

Me: Yeah, running amok.

Doodlebug: Amok?

Sweetie: Where? Where is Amok?

Doodlebug: I want to run to Amok!

MoonCat: Too late. You’re already there.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Herders – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stay in line!

Me: Doodle, what are you up to?

Doodlebug: I’m up to doing my duty, ma’am. Chicken herding.

Me: Is Sweetie in on this, too?

Sweetie: I’ve got the easy part. I just sit here. For some reason, the chickens don’t come this way.

MoonCat: I wonder why. Hmmm. No, I don’t really.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sharp Pointy Mouths – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Watch out! Sharp pointy mouths are running around.

Me: They always are. I try not to listen.

Sweetie: Chicken pointy mouths, Lady Human! Humans don’t have sharp pointy mouths.

Me: Oh, yes, we do.

MoonCat: Just wait, ma’am, until one of those pointy chicken mouths starts pecking on your bare foot. The difference becomes obvious.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Dignity – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, I have changed my mind.

Me: Wonders never cease.

Doodlebug: I don’t want a hole in the yard to sit in. I am not a toad. It would be undignified.

Me: Good, because I don’t really want any bulldog-sized sitting holes in the yard.

Sweetie: Nonsense! Comfort before dignity.

MoonCat: Look at my face. Isn’t it obvious? Both.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Hole of My Own – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: If a little ole toad gets to have a hole in the yard, then I should have one, too! A hole of my own.

Me: So you can eat bugs at night?

Sweetie: Bugs? Ew! No!

Me: That’s what the toad does.

Sweetie: Just a hole to sit in while I look at the world.

Doodlebug: If Sweetie gets one, then I get one, too.

MoonCat: They’re going to have to be some monster-sized holes. Lady Human, do we have enough land for that?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Toad in the Hole – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there’s something weird going on in the backyard.

Me: There usually is.

Sweetie: Look at that. It’s one of those froggy things sitting in a hole.

Me: Oh, yeah. That’s a toad. Just leave him alone. He’s fine.

Sweetie: It’s a he?

Me: I don’t know and I’m not trying to find out.

Doodlebug: Why is he sitting in a hole?

Me: That’s his special safe place. It’s cooler and there’s plenty to eat.

MoonCat: Everyone should have a special safe space of their own, completely away from me.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Gate Crashers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Coming through!

Me: Nope. Not yet. Stay in the patio until I get this done.

Sweetie: The only time humans shut doors or gates is when there is something fun or interesting or delicious happening on the other side.

Doodlebug: Coming through! Awww. Nothing cool is going on.

Me: No, I was just moving some wooden planks.

Sweetie: I’ll walk the planks. I’ll walk the planks…

Me: No, Sweetie, that’s why I closed the gate.

Doodlebug: I’ll walk them, too. I’ll walk them, too…Walking the planks. Walking the planks…

MoonCat: It must be nice to find joy in every silly thing you run into.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Gumption – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I am so proud of Roo-Roo the Rooster for running off that possum.

Sweetie: We know. We know. You can stop cockadoodling about him now. He cockadoodles about himself all the time.

Me: I just appreciate gumption.

Doodlebug: I’ve got gumption! What is gumption?

Me: You know…like… the courage to stand up for somebody or something that’s right. That takes guts.

Sweetie: We’ve got guts.

Doodlebug: Lots and lots of guts. Looky here.

MoonCat: Whoever would have believed that bulldog guts would be an admirable thing.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Real Stand-up Guy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Wow! That Roo-Roo is one stand-up rooster. He backed off a possum that had walked into the chicken house. The critter ran off.

Sweetie: I could have done that!

Doodlebug: I sure would have done that! Except I was inside, asleep. But I’m still the King!

MoonCat: I’m glad Roo-Roo takes care of that sort of thing. Possums are not my forte.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Snotty – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What is that noise you are making with your nose, Lady Human? Is it singing?

Doodlebug: That’s not singing. Singing is supposed to sound sort of good. Lady Human sounds, well, not good.

Me: My nose is stopped up. ACHOO!

Sweetie: Watch out, everybody! Nose explosion!

MoonCat: Well, her nose is not stopped up anymore. Good for her. And yuck.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

School – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where did Little Human go?

Me: School.

Sweetie: I want to go to school.

Me: They don’t allow dogs.

Sweetie: Not fair! Wait! Is that where humans learn to make big ugly marks on paper?

Me: Writing, yes.

Doodlebug: And other humans look at the marks and pretend they mean something?

Me: Reading, yes.

Sweetie: Poor little humans.

Doodlebug: Never mind.

MoonCat: We’ll stay here and do something useful like take a nap.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stash – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, where’s my snack stash? Did you take it, Doodle? You better not have!

Doodlebug: I don’t need your silly little stash. I’ve got my own big one.

Me: Wait just a minute there. Are y’all stashing treats in here? No! No! No! That invites bugs in!

Doodlebug: I’ve never invited a bug anywhere.

Sweetie: Me neither. Though there was that wasp that followed me in that one day, but she was not invited!

MoonCat: A stash of treats somewhere in the house? Tell me more.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Hankering – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, are you dreaming? You have that kind of look on your face.

Me: More like hankering than dreaming. I’m wanting some flavored popcorn.

Sweetie: Me, too! I’m hankering, too!

Doodlebug: Is it okay if I hanker after some cheese?

Sweetie: Me, too! Let’s make a list of hankerings!

MoonCat: Everyone take a seat and get comfortable. This may take awhile. Add tunafish to my column.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.