Chicken Patrol – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hup, 2, 3, 4. Hup, 2, 3, 4.

Me: What, may I ask, is going on here?

Sweetie: Chicken patrol.

Me: I can see that all the chickens are hunkered down in their coop.

Sweetie: Mission accomplished.

Doodlebug: Better hunkered down in safety than hunkered down out in the open.

Me: Okay, everybody off duty now and back in the house.

Sweetie: But the chickens will start running around.

Me: As they should. It’s full daylight and no storms are expected.

MoonCat: Chickens in charge of the yard? Sounds a little fowl to me…Sorry. I had to.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Great Chicken Search – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I need y’all’s help. Two of the chickens are missing. They aren’t in the coop with the others and it’s past time.

Sweetie: A chicken search? That’s easy. They stink big time.

Me: I know you can find them with your talented snouts. But no chasing or pouncing. They are probably hunkered down under something in the yard.

Doodlebug: On the job.

Sweetie: My nose is detecting. There’s a chickeny smell over here.

Doodlebug: And over here.

Me: Great job, guys!

MoonCat: Nothing says bulldog like a chicken roundup after dark.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Motor Mouths – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Roo-Roo the Rooster is roostering all over the place. Well, I’ll show him. He can’t out rooster a bulldog.

Me: You don’t have to hold a contest. In fact, PLEASE don’t hold a contest!

Sweetie: I’m all fired up and raring to go! Read my lips, Roo-Roo!

MoonCat: Let’s hope the motor mouths run out of gas before too long.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Aim High and Overshoot – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Throw it, Lady Human! Throw the bouncy ball high!

Me: Ugh! Overshot it. It went over the fence.

Doodlebug: There’s always another fence to throw it over. Try it again.

MoonCat: Aim low. Bulldog level.

©️ 2026. H.J.Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bouncing Back – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, you’re not flat anymore!

Me: No, I’m better now.

Sweetie: Is the “poorly” gone?

Me: Yeah, feels like it. Bouncing back.

Sweetie: Like the big ball outside? How high can you bounce?

Me: Not exactly like that. Still a little tired.

Doodlebug: Great! Time for a bulldog nap.

MoonCat: Bouncebacks take a lot of energy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Poorly – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why are you flat?

Me: I’m lying down because I’m feeling poorly.

Sweetie: Is “poorly” good?

Me: Not really. Not the worst though.

Sweetie: I’ll feel poorly with you if it will help.

Doodlebug: Me, too.

Me: Aww, thanks, but I think I’ll need to fight this one through. You can pray for me.

MoonCat: Already there.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

On the Tip of My Tongue – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Bluh! Lahdee Hooma!

Me: Ew! What’s on the end of your tongue? Hold still. Yuck!

Sweetie: Was it something I wanted?

Me: Apparently. At some point. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Doodlebug: Can I have it?

Me: No. We throw yuck stuff away.

MoonCat: I’ll just keep the tip of my tongue to myself.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Don’t Stop Up Your Ears – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human?

Me: Mmm..maah…mmm…

Doodlebug: I think she’s gone deaf.

Sweetie: She’s stuck big white kibbles in her ears with strings hanging off them. Why would anybody do that?

Doodlebug: LADY HUMAN!

Sweetie: I’ll step on her foot.

Me: Hey!

Sweetie: There she is.

Me: I was listening to music.

Sweetie: Now we know what the white kibbles and the long neck strings are doing.

MoonCat: Yes, they provide selective hearing to humans with bulldogs.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Squirrelly – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, a squirrel is acting squirrelly.

Me: Isn’t that as it should be?

Doodlebug: It’s picking seeds out of a big sunflower’s face. It’s not allowed to do that. What about us?

Me: We’re fine. Let the squirrel share.

Sweetie: But it’s climbed up a flower stalk that is as tall as a human!

MoonCat: Squirrelly would be if it didn’t climb up and grab those seeds. Tall sunflower equals short tree.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.

Harrumph! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Harrumph!

Me: I beg your pardon?

Sweetie: Harrumph! I think I made myself clear.

Me: What are you harrumphing about?

Doodlebug: Nothing. She’s making noise. That’s all. If she makes enough noise, you may give her a treat.

MoonCat: So that’s the secret! I need to practice my harrumph, though no one harrumphs quite as well as a bulldog.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Spitting Nickels – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What’s the matter, Lady Human?

Me: I’m so mad I could spit nickels.

Sweetie: I want to spit nickels. What are nickels?

Me: Just little round metal coins. Worth about 5 cents apiece.

Sweetie: You can spit human money? COOL!

Doodlebug: You are more talented than I thought!

Sweetie: You should just stay mad all the time. Think how much money you’d have and how many treats you could buy us.

MoonCat: Treats enough for all of us? That would take quite a bit of spitting.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Sky Is Still There – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: (singing) Ohhh, say can you see, The sky is still there, Even after the humans tried to blow it to pieces…

Me: Very nice, but not exactly accurate. And you’ll be happy to know that the fireworks are over for now.

Doodlebug: Our prayer was answered. I don’t even notice any holes.

Me: No. No holes. Breathe it in.

MoonCat: A whole sky is a nice thing to have around.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

You Ain’t Heard Nothin’ Yet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What were the humans up to last night, Lady Human?

Me: Oh, the fireworks?

Doodlebug: The big boom-booms.

Sweetie: Oh, no! Y’all were trying to blow up the sky again.

Me: It’s a celebration. And today is the big day. If you thought last night was loud, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet.

Doodlebug: Great Creator of all, please keep the sky where You put it.

Sweetie: Yes, please! The humans are up to their foolishness again!

MoonCat: I think the bulldogs give humans a little too much credit. After all these years, the sky is still here.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Peeking Parakeets – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. The parakeets are being sneaky.

Sweetie: Yeah, they’re looking at us from behind closed eyelids.

Baby and Bud: Peek peek peek. We see you.

MoonCat: Let’s have a peeking contest. I wonder who will win.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Just Sit There – Conversations with Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what are you doing?

Me: Nothing.

Sweetie: Exactly. You should be doing something. You are a human. Always be doing.

Me: It’s a fine thing to sit still and be quiet.

Doodlebug: No, it’s not. Not for a human. Sitting and doing nothing is only for us.

MoonCat: I say all humans should have the right to sit freely, except when that right delays my supper.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Power Connections – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, how come you are playing with skinny ropes?

Sweetie: Yeah, and how come you’re sticking the skinny rope ends in the wall?

Me: Electricity. I have to plug the cords in so the power will flow.

Sweetie: I don’t see a flow. Maybe you need a water hose from outside.

Me: Nope! Definitely not! Water and electricity don’t live together in peace.

MoonCat: Some things just don’t play well together. Ask me how I know.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Mind Your Own Business – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What is that I feel pushing its way under my arm?

Sweetie: It might be my big ole bulldog nose.

Me: Why?

Sweetie: Smelling what’s going on.

Doodlebug: May I be of assistance, ma’am?

Me: Nope. I am working on something electrical that has no bulldog connection.

Doodlebug: I want to see!

Sweetie: Me, too! I’ve already smelled it.

Me: Sometimes it’s better, safer even, to mind your own business.

Doodlebug: I’ve already done my business.

Sweetie: Yeah, me, too. I want to get into somebody else’s business.

MoonCat: Oh, mercy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Motor Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, where are you running to?

Sweetie: Nowhere. My feet just go where they want. They’re on their own.

Me: Not so. Your feet go where you tell them to.

Sweetie: I’ve never said a word to my feet in our whole lives together. My feet are like the big rolling box. We jump in and it takes us wherever it wants to.

Me: Again, not so. I have to steer the car and step on the gas.

Doodlebug: My feet are lazy. They follow my nose when my nose is awake.

MoonCat: Let me be perfectly clear. My own personal feet are under my complete control at all times. Who would you rather have loose in your house?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.