I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! You have fouled up the weather again! The ground is white, and the sky is spitting ice chunks that are bouncing off my back.
Me: Honestly, I am not in charge of this.
Stella: I told you last year, after Snowpocalypse, not to let anything like that ever happen again.
Me: Well, we’re still about 25 degrees warmer than we were during that event last year, so…
Stella: Not good enough! Make it go away. I like to see the ground I am pottying on.
Me: Hmmm, give it about two days. And the ground may be covered in snow and ice, but it is still there.
Stella: A likely story! If humans can’t control the sky, how do we know you won’t take away the ground while it is covered up? What if I step and there is nothing there?
Me: I would never take the ground out from under your feet … even if I could … which I can’t.
Stella: Another likely story! I’ve got one eye on you, Lady Human, and another eye on the disappearing ground.
Copyright 2022 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I’ll put this here. No. Here. And that goes over there. No. It goes over here, too.
Me: What are you doing, girl?
Stella: The same thing humans do. What does it look like?
Me: Looks like you’re fiddlin’ around with stuff.
Stella: Fiddlin’. Okay. I’m fiddlin’. Fiddlin’ sounds important.
Me: Well, sometimes. Like fiddlin’ with an engine to make it run. Or fiddlin’ on a violin which is a fiddle. But what you’re doing just looks like you’re moving one thing and then moving another to no real purpose.
Stella: Shows how much a human knows. This toy has to be in the right place for my head to rest on comfortably and so no one else, meaning you, Lady Human, can play with it. And this blanket has to be piled up over here to support my belly so it won’t slump on the mattress.
Me: Oh, excuse me. I totally misunderstood.
Stella: That’s because you like all humans were fiddlin’ in your head over things you know nothing about.
Copyright 2021 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.