Chicken Patrol – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hup, 2, 3, 4. Hup, 2, 3, 4.

Me: What, may I ask, is going on here?

Sweetie: Chicken patrol.

Me: I can see that all the chickens are hunkered down in their coop.

Sweetie: Mission accomplished.

Doodlebug: Better hunkered down in safety than hunkered down out in the open.

Me: Okay, everybody off duty now and back in the house.

Sweetie: But the chickens will start running around.

Me: As they should. It’s full daylight and no storms are expected.

MoonCat: Chickens in charge of the yard? Sounds a little fowl to me…Sorry. I had to.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Great Chicken Search – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I need y’all’s help. Two of the chickens are missing. They aren’t in the coop with the others and it’s past time.

Sweetie: A chicken search? That’s easy. They stink big time.

Me: I know you can find them with your talented snouts. But no chasing or pouncing. They are probably hunkered down under something in the yard.

Doodlebug: On the job.

Sweetie: My nose is detecting. There’s a chickeny smell over here.

Doodlebug: And over here.

Me: Great job, guys!

MoonCat: Nothing says bulldog like a chicken roundup after dark.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Meeting of Minds – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I heard the chickens talking. I think they are planning something.

Me: What could they possibly be planning that would bother y’all?

Doodlebug: They could sneak up and jump on our backs and ride us the way cowboys ride horses.

Me: I’m not saying impossible. I will say unlikely.

Sweetie: You never can tell with chickens. They’re sneaky little boogers. If they’re meeting, they’re plotting.

MoonCat: I find chickens to be sociable, intelligent, and companionable creatures. I also find them to be sneaky little boogers.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Sense – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. It’s raining, Lady Human!

Me: Yes, I noticed.

Sweetie: It’s raining hard!

Me: Right again!

Sweetie: Look at Roo-Roo the Rooster. He’s all dry! How come he gets to be all dry?

Me: He’s standing under his doorway. He has the good sense to stay in out of the rain.

Doodlebug: So why are we all standing out in it?

MoonCat: Some of us have more chicken sense than bulldog sense.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Chicken Squawk Convention – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: There is a loud chicken meeting going on outside, Lady Human.

Me: Yeah, they’re holding some kind of convention.

Doodlebug: How come? I’ve talked to those chickens. They never say anything but ‘Squawk!’ and ‘Cluck!’

Sweetie: A lot like humans.

MoonCat: I could say something, but I won’t.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Running Head Start – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I’m going outside to feed the chickens. Give me and them about a running head start of about 10 seconds.

Sweetie: To start their heads? Don’t chickens run around with their heads on?

Doodlebug: It’s so they won’t get all scared by our big bulldog faces.

Sweetie: But why do you get a head start, Lady Human? Not fair! And what does “about 10 seconds” mean?

MoonCat: Continue discussing. Meanwhile, I’ll simply stay where I comfortably am, giving me a head start over bulldogs, chickens, and humans, as is my due.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Guardian – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I have been giving this possum situation some thought.

Me: Uh-oh.

Sweetie: The chickens need a guardian and I’m it.

Doodlebug: What about me? I’m the King.

Sweetie: Sure, if you want to sit with me outside the Chicken House all night every night.

Doodlebug: Well, let’s not be unreasonable.

MoonCat: No, let’s never be that. Which is why I’ll maintain my cushy bed inside and happily welcome all reasonable bulldogs back inside when they tire of guard duty after ten minutes.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Loudest Mouths – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come birds are so loud, louder than anything else, louder than bulldogs?

Me: You mean because of the cacophony we were just treated to from the chickens and the parakeets?

Doodlebug: It doesn’t seem right.

Sweetie: They squawk and yell and cockadoodle-doo for no reason at all.

Doodlebug: And it doesn’t make sense.

MoonCat: Hmmm. Doesn’t seem right and doesn’t make sense. Sounds like some four-legged critters I know.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What Do You Mean There Are Birds in Our House? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there are two tiny chickens in our house.

Me: Not chickens. Parakeets.

Sweetie: I think what Doodle means is, THERE ARE BIRDS IN OUR HOUSE! You have always said that birds do not belong in the house.

Me: No, I said chickens don’t belong in the house. These are parakeets. They are a gift to me from Tall Man.

MoonCat: If they don’t bother me, I won’t bother them. Deal? Deal.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Just Back Up – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, we have a problem.

Sweetie: Uh-oh!

Me: I’m hearing that word a little too often.

Sweetie: Tappy the Chicken is stuck between the gate and the door! She walked in, but she can’t turn around.

Doodlebug: Chickens are so stupid.

MoonCat: Meow. Bulldogs should be careful about who they call stupid.

Sweetie: Help, Lady Human! She’s hopelessly trapped!

Me: Not hopelessly. She just needs to back up. Sometimes a few steps back is all it takes. I’ll be there in a second.

Doodlebug: Never mind! She backed out. Dumb chicken.

MoonCat: Meow. One wonders how long it would have taken a bulldog to figure that one out.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Barking – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. That noise must stop.

Me: You mean your barking?

Sweetie: No, Lady Human, you know what noise. That awful chicken barking from outside.

MoonCat: Meow. Yes, it must stop. It is worse than bulldog barking if that is even possible…which it is not.

Me: Chickens don’t usually respond to commands.

Doodlebug: So, they do have something in common with bulldogs.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Sitting – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Sweetie: Lady Human! I have a new friend.

Me: I saw that.

Sweetie: She is really nice and friendly and not scared of my big ole bulldog face at all. And she didn’t say anything. Nice and quiet.

Me: Yeah. She just stood right by you the whole time you sat in the patio. Kind of strange for a chicken.

Sweetie: What chicken?

Me: Your new patio friend. She’s a chicken. Remember. We talked about chickens. The birds that have wings, but they only flap and don’t fly.

Sweetie: She doesn’t fly away and she doesn’t talk. Perfect in every way.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Mad as a Wet Hen – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Sweetie: Lady Human, it’s that big bird again.

Me: Yeah, I see her.

Sweetie: She’s all wet. How come?

Me: It rained earlier. She must have decided to stay out in the downpour instead of going inside her house.

Sweetie: Is that why she’s in my space, stomping around?

Me: She’s probably just trying to figure things out.

Sweetie: Well, one thing she needs to figure out is when to come in out of the rain.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.