I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Chickens live in our yard. Why? Lady Human will not let us chase them or eat them. What good are they? Fluffy white little weird two-legged things that have wings but cannot fly, that make loud squawky noises but never say anything intelligent. It’s almost like they are cats.
Me: Why are you so down on the chickens? I’ve seen you standing out there staring at them.
Stella: Because they are funny-looking and funny smelling. And their pointy faces look angry all the time, so I keep waiting for them to tell me why. As queen, I may be able to do something about their complaints.
Me: Are you now going to be queen of the Silkie Chickens?
Stella: Hmmm. If they need a queen, I would be willing to serve. But they would have to stop being so weird.
Me: They don’t think that they are weird. They just think that they are chickens.
Stella: What is that you have there? Eggs?
Stella: That doesn’t look like the eggs that they have kicked at us in the yard.
Me: Those were raw. These are hard boiled. I cooked them.
Stella: How horrible! Lady Human, you cooked the chickens’ babies? NO!
Me: We talked about this, Stella. These eggs were never going to be baby chickens. There is no rooster. That means there is no daddy. These eggs will just stay eggs. I didn’t notice you and the others refraining from the eggs that they kicked at you. Where was your outrage then?
Stella: We figured that any eggs they kicked out couldn’t be their babies so…Wait, what are you giving Wiggles, and Sweetie, and Tiger, and Doodlebug?
Me: I just peeled the shells off the cooked eggs. Would you like to try one?
Stella: Well, if you’re giving them away…I guess I could taste one…just one.
Stella: Where have these been all my life? More. More! MORE!
Me: One is enough for now. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. What do you have to say about chickens now?
Stella: How many chickens are there?
Stella: And how many of these things can they lay?
Me: About one a day. Sometimes they skip a day.
Stella: So where are all the eggs they have been laying?
Me: We and our human neighbors have a claim on them, too, you know.
Stella: Not anymore.
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