I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and I want earplugs.
Me: Why? Because the pack barks so loudly?
Stella: No. Barking is a lovely sound. I need earplugs to block out squawking. Chicken squawking.
Me: Yeah, I noticed that today. I think they were mad because their breakfast was running late.
Stella: And whose fault is that?
Me: Mine. I took a little time to move the new 50-pound bag of chicken feed into place.
Stella: 50 pounds! That’s as heavy as I am. Cool.
Me: I think you are easier to carry. You are more compact.
Stella: Was that the big bag that you were dancing with?
Me: Did it look like dancing? It felt like wrestling.
Stella: Well, next time, do it sooner.
Me: Oh, of course, Your Majesty. Pardon me. So sorry that your sensitive ears were inconvenienced.
Stella: I pardon you.
Me: You know, the next time they start squawking, you can go out and tell them to quiet down. They might listen to you.
Stella: Chickens listen to a bulldog? Of course, they should. But would they? I doubt it. Have you seen how tiny their heads are? Their brains are just as small.
Me: Small heads or not, chickens are very intelligent.
Me: They can play tiny pianos.
Stella: With their scrawny feet or with their sharp, hard mouths?
Me: With their beaks.
Stella: Showoffs. That’ s easy if you have a pointy face.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.