I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. The yard is a mess. Who told the squirrels that they could have a party and not clean up after themselves? Not me!
Me: Not me either!
Stella: Look what they have done! They have showered pecans and pecan parts ALL OVER OUR BULLDOG PATHS!
Me: Yep. No pecan pies for us this fall. Again.
Stella: Who cares about pecans? Well, maybe I do. But look at this mess! Every path is covered with pecans shells and pieces!
Me: Must have been some kind of party! Yee haw!
Stella: Really, Lady Human? Are you condoning this?
Me: Not condoning. Just understanding.
Me: Okay, I know you don’t want your bulldog paths messed up and covered with shells, but pretty soon the dirt will cover the debris. Hey, the last rain filled in the cicada holes!
Stella: Cicadas. Who cares? Cicadas I accept. But squirrels? Why are they having a party in our yard?
Me: Uhhh. Because they are squirrels and there are nuts?
Stella: My nemesis, Jerky McSquirrelyFace, is behind this.
Me: I have no doubt.
Stella: Well, I will show him what’s what.
Me: What is what?
Stella: The yard is ours.
Me: Ours as in yours and mine.
Stella: No, of course, not. Not yours at all. It belongs to the bulldogs. So here we come! Watch out, Jerky, you and all your squirrel friends! We bulldogs are on the move! Don’t you dare litter on our bulldog paths again!
Me: Since you say it is yours, would you all be willing to contribute to the upkeep, maintenance, and taxes on it?
Stella: The what, the what, and the what? You and your silly human talk. That’s not our job. Our job is to chase squirrels…and cats. And that we will do. Until all the pecans and pecan pies in the world are out of their little paws and in ours.
Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.