A Whole Lot of Beeping Going On – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Early this morning, I was minding my business as usual when the still air was wrecked by the most awful noise. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Me:        I know. Everyone woke up.

Stella:    BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Me:        Thank you, Stella. I heard.

Stella:    What a ridiculous noise! I know it was a human noise. Do you know how I know? No self-respecting animal would make a noise like that.

Me:        A goose would. More of a honk, but still…

Stella:    That annoying bird that was in that movie on the Picture Box. No, thank you! But you have to admit, the beeping is worse.

Me:        Well, when everybody jumped up and started barking like mad…no, I don’t see the difference. You all did that at the goose during my movie. I always have to watch that movie more than once just to hear what’s going on because of all the barking at the goose.

Stella:    Maybe you should stop watching that movie. That would solve everything.

Me:        I don’t agree that bulldogs should dictate my television viewing habits.

Stella:    Well, someone needs to. So, all that beeping this morning AND YESTERDAY had nothing to do with gooses.

Me:        Geese.

Stella:    What?

Me:        Two “gooses” are referred to as geese.

Stella:    Lady Human, your language makes me want to scream.

Me:        Please don’t. We’ve already had enough noise around here today.

Stella:    Who was beeping and how do we get it to stop?

Me:        Today it was a bulk trash truck. It came earlier than usual. Yesterday it was the regular trash truck. I guess they had to back up.

Stella:    Why does backing up beep?

Me:        It’s a warning that they put on big trucks. It lets everybody around know that the truck is backing up and may be blind to what’s behind it.

Stella:    Scary.

Me:        Not for you all. Stay away from the trucks…and you do…and there is no danger.

Stella:    Except to our ears. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Humans and their noises. Honestly. Where does it end?

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Talking to Yourself Out Loud – More Human Nonsense – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. As I have said many times before, humans talk too much. It is bad enough when they are using too many words to us. When they start talking to themselves, well, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. All I have to say right now is SHHHHH! I could have said SILENCE! But since Lady Human is talking to herself out loud, she probably wouldn’t have heard me over her own volume so what’s the point?

Me:        So, I am speaking aloud. So what?

Stella:    So… ANNOYING. DISTRACTING. NOISY. IRRITATING. What else? Let’s see. Oh, yes. UNNECESSARY. NOTHING WE NEED TO HEAR. WEIRD. Shall I go on?

Me:        Not weird. Helpful.

Stella:    Not to us, it’s not. How can human yakking be helpful?

Me:        Sometimes, when I say the words instead of just thinking them, my brain processes my thoughts into solid ideas that I can hold onto.

Stella:    Oh, Lady Human, that is scary.

Me:        How so?

Stella:    Solid words. Whatever next? Will you start throwing your words around the room like little balls for us to fetch? Oh, look out! There’s a word flying through the air! Don’t let it smack you in the head!

Me:        Sorry, Stella. I forgot how literal you can be.

Stella:    Literal? Lady Human, are you saying that I am stupid?

Me:        No. I am saying that your way of thinking is more concrete than mine.

Stella:    What? Concrete in my head? No wonder my head is so heavy.

Me:        I am sorry that my out loud self-talk was confusing to you.

Stella:    When you ask yourself a question, do you answer it, too?

Me:        No, I usually type it into my phone for someone else’s answer.

Stella:    Perfect. No more talking to yourself out loud. Let your fingers do the talking. We won’t even have to hear it. You spend so much time on that little box anyway. Go ahead and spend more. Ah, blessed silence.

Me:        Wait a minute! Blessed silence? What about when you all erupt in barking?

Stella:    I meant blessed silence from humans. There’s a difference. You should know that by now.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.