Singing vs. Howling – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What is that awful noise?

Me: You wouldn’t happen to be referring to my singing, would you?

Doodlebug: Yes, yes. That’s what it is. Mystery solved.

Me: I’m not a great singer, but it’s not that bad.

Sweetie: Let me show you how it’s done, Lady Human. OOWWEEE! HOOOOO!

Me: Now that’s what I call noise.

Sweetie: How dare you? That is the song of my people!

Me: Aren’t singing and howling two different things?

Doodlebug: Not when you do it, Lady Human.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Cut the Humans A Little Slack – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and I have something to say.

Tiger:   You always have something to say.

Snoopey:   Yeah, that never seems to be a problem with you.

Tiger:   Just with us. We have to listen to you.

Snoopey:   For once, AND ONLY ONCE, Tiger and I are in agreement.

Tiger:   Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.

Snoopey:   Agreed. Oooop!

Stella:    Here’s what I have to say! Cut back on the how you pick on the humans! All the criticism and such.

Wiggles:   I don’t criticize humans. I like them just fine.

Doodlebug:   Yeah, they’re all right. The food is almost always on time and they don’t allow any cat hair in it.

Miss Sweetie:    And I like the way Lady Human wipes my neck off after I soak my head in my water bowl. That feels good.

Stella:    I’m talking about no criticizing things like the human singing. No barking or, even worse, howling when Lady Human breaks into one of her versions of some old song nobody has ever heard of but her.

Snoopey:   I don’t do that.

Tiger:     I don’t do that.

Snoopey:   Wait. Is that another agreement?

Tiger:     I don’t think so.

Snoopey:   Good.

Wiggles:   I don’t do my howl bark when Lady Human sings. Usually because I’m asleep.

Miss Sweetie:   I like Lady Human’s songs. They make no sense, so I don’t have to figure out what she is saying.

Snoopey: Hold on just a bloomin’ minute here. None of us were howling or barking at Lady Human’s singing today. Just you! You howled out.

Stella:    Well, I had to say SOMETHING. Did you hear her? I was simply making a public service announcement. “Watch out! Cover your ears! Lady Human is singing!” There. You’re welcome.




Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Human Howling – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Will someone please stop the noise? Why do humans howl? They don’t like it when we do it.

Me:        Howling? Who’s howling?

Stella:    You are. And those humans on the Picture Box. Dreadful. Make it stop.

Me:        Those people were singing an old song that I know. I was singing along.

Stella:    Lady Human, begging your pardon, but that was not singing. It was howling. I should know. Not that I mind howling. It is a lovely sound when it comes from a dog.

Me:        Singing is a whole lot more complicated than howling.

Stella:    Says the human.

Me:        Says the anybody.

Stella:    All I am asking is keep it down. Some of us are trying to sleep.

Me:        Let me sing you to sleep.

Stella:    Like this? Ooooo…wooooo….owwwww!

Me:        No. Not like that. Please…

Stella:    As I thought. The only taste humans have is in their mouths.




Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.