Ruckus or Rampage – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me:        Well, Your Majesty. I could use your help.

Stella:    Your Majesty? About time I got the respect I deserve. What can I help you with, human peasant?

Me:        I beg your pardon?

Stella:    Granted. I am always happy to be gracious. What is your petition?

Me:        Help me when the others start to rampage.

Stella:    Rampage?

Miss Sweetie:    You know, Aunt Stella. When we suddenly jump up and run around like mad and climb on the furniture, which is for us anyway. I don’t know why everybody wants us to stay off of it.

Doodlebug:        And we dive into the rag box and pull stuff out and chase the cat if the cat is to be found. If not, we pretend to chase the cat full speed.

Wiggles:   I thought that was a ruckus.

Tiger:     No, a ruckus is just a lot of noise. A rampage is the real thing. Out of control. Wild. Bulldoggy. Woo hoo!

Me:        What causes a rampage? Or a ruckus?

Doodlebug:   It just seems the thing to do sometimes.

Miss Sweetie:    I like to rampage after my breakfast digests. More energy.

Tiger:     I prefer to ruckus. Louder but less effort.

Wiggles:   I just need to know. If I charge the cat potty box, is that a rampage or a ruckus?

Me:        That’s a no-no.

Wiggles:   Okay, so it’s a rampage then. Let’s go!

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018  H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

Blame It on the Cat – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Shhhhh! Everybody, no barking or fussing. We have something to cover up. Silent, nose-to-nose communication only.

Me:        Wait! What’s going on?

Stella:    Who says anything is going on?

Me:        Your silent, nose-to-nose communication. Did you think that I wouldn’t notice?

Stella:    Yes. The ways of bulldogs are mysterious. Aren’t they?

Me:        Can you identify the source of the bad gas smell in the den?

Stella:    Bad gas smell? Sounds like a human problem. No issue here among the bulldogs. Right, pack? Pack? Hey, a little backup needed here!

Miss Sweetie:    Silent, nose-to-nose communication only, Aunt Stella. Remember? Cover up.

Stella:    Thank you, Sweetie. Why don’t you go sit over there where you can’t hear?

Me:        So, whose stomach is upset?

Stella:    The cat. Yeah, that’s it. The cat. Have you seen? She uses the bathroom in a box INSIDE THE HOUSE! I thought that was against the rules, except for humans who also use the bathroom INSIDE THE HOUSE! Unfair. Unfair. Unfair…

Me:        I don’t believe that Moon is responsible for the bad gas smell.

Stella:    Of course, she would say that!

Me:        I think maybe you have a little stomach upset.

Stella:    Lady Human, for shame! It’s the cat. It’s just like something she would do.

Me:        How about some pumpkin in your food?

Stella:    Well…I don’t know.

Me:        You like pumpkin, right?

Stella:    Well…maybe a little would be okay.

Me:        There. I don’t think we will be experiencing any more bad gas smell problems in a while.

Stella:    Now if only you would do something about the cat.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Why Do Cats Get An Indoor Toilet? – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Bulldogs, dogs of any type really, are forced to go outside to potty, while humans and… ugh…cats get to go to the bathroom indoors. Even our parakeet, Pearl, is allowed to potty inside. This is horribly unfair, especially on bad weather days. Dogs are expected to endure heat, cold, rain, snow (whatever that is), ice (whatever that is), hurricanes, tornadoes, thunderstorms…

Me:        Okay, we get the picture. By the way, we have never had a hurricane here. By the time they get here, they’re some rain and a strong breeze and little else. And, if we do have a tornado or two or sixteen in one day like we had a few years ago, we don’t send anyone outside.

Stella:    If cats are allowed to use the toilet inside on all occasions, why aren’t we?

Me:        Think about that for a minute. Cats have an instinct to use a box or a hole and to cover up what they do. Bulldogs, on the other hand…

Stella:    Hey, I wipe my feet every time I potty.

Me:        I know. If I gave you each a litter box, would you all really use it?

Stella:    Hmmm. I would have to say…Nope, definitely not. Nope. Not bulldoggy enough. Too confining. You will never take our FREEDOM!

Me:        So, you will continue to potty outside? For the freedom?

Stella:    Of course, when you put it that way. Cats don’t know what they are missing. But then again, cats always have a warm potty.

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.