Eat Some Grass – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. When I am in Lady Human’s room, all kinds of interesting things can happen. For example, when stuff came out of her mouth, she looked very much like a bulldog.

Miss Sweetie:    Was it drool? Because drool comes out of my mouth all the time.

Me:        No, Sweetie, it wasn’t drool. I wasn’t feeling well and…

Stella:    She did that gagging, spitting thing that we do when our stomachs don’t set right. No big deal.

Me:        Big deal to me. I don’t like throwing up.

Tiger:     Stella is right for once, and ONLY ONCE! No big deal. Next time, eat some grass.

Me:        I don’t think that is a human thing.

Doodlebug:   There’s a good patch of grass out behind the old tree stump.

Me:        How do I know it is not a patch you have all peed on?

Tiger:     Simple. Use your nose.

Wiggles:   There’s another good patch in front of where the chickens live. Don’t get too close though. They’ve been kicking their food out and all that leftover chicken food is mine. As for grass, pick the long stuff, but make sure to chew it up good.

Me:        Thanks for the tips, everybody. I’m all better now. No grass needed.

Stella:    Personally, I prefer pumpkin, but grass is free and easy to come by.

Me:        I appreciated how you stuck by me during my trouble, Stella. Sitting there on the bed, leaning against me.

Stella:    No problem, Lady Human. Dogs are not bothered by such natural things. Just remember next time – eat some grass.

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Blame It on the Cat – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Shhhhh! Everybody, no barking or fussing. We have something to cover up. Silent, nose-to-nose communication only.

Me:        Wait! What’s going on?

Stella:    Who says anything is going on?

Me:        Your silent, nose-to-nose communication. Did you think that I wouldn’t notice?

Stella:    Yes. The ways of bulldogs are mysterious. Aren’t they?

Me:        Can you identify the source of the bad gas smell in the den?

Stella:    Bad gas smell? Sounds like a human problem. No issue here among the bulldogs. Right, pack? Pack? Hey, a little backup needed here!

Miss Sweetie:    Silent, nose-to-nose communication only, Aunt Stella. Remember? Cover up.

Stella:    Thank you, Sweetie. Why don’t you go sit over there where you can’t hear?

Me:        So, whose stomach is upset?

Stella:    The cat. Yeah, that’s it. The cat. Have you seen? She uses the bathroom in a box INSIDE THE HOUSE! I thought that was against the rules, except for humans who also use the bathroom INSIDE THE HOUSE! Unfair. Unfair. Unfair…

Me:        I don’t believe that Moon is responsible for the bad gas smell.

Stella:    Of course, she would say that!

Me:        I think maybe you have a little stomach upset.

Stella:    Lady Human, for shame! It’s the cat. It’s just like something she would do.

Me:        How about some pumpkin in your food?

Stella:    Well…I don’t know.

Me:        You like pumpkin, right?

Stella:    Well…maybe a little would be okay.

Me:        There. I don’t think we will be experiencing any more bad gas smell problems in a while.

Stella:    Now if only you would do something about the cat.

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.