Eat Some Grass – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. When I am in Lady Human’s room, all kinds of interesting things can happen. For example, when stuff came out of her mouth, she looked very much like a bulldog.

Miss Sweetie:    Was it drool? Because drool comes out of my mouth all the time.

Me:        No, Sweetie, it wasn’t drool. I wasn’t feeling well and…

Stella:    She did that gagging, spitting thing that we do when our stomachs don’t set right. No big deal.

Me:        Big deal to me. I don’t like throwing up.

Tiger:     Stella is right for once, and ONLY ONCE! No big deal. Next time, eat some grass.

Me:        I don’t think that is a human thing.

Doodlebug:   There’s a good patch of grass out behind the old tree stump.

Me:        How do I know it is not a patch you have all peed on?

Tiger:     Simple. Use your nose.

Wiggles:   There’s another good patch in front of where the chickens live. Don’t get too close though. They’ve been kicking their food out and all that leftover chicken food is mine. As for grass, pick the long stuff, but make sure to chew it up good.

Me:        Thanks for the tips, everybody. I’m all better now. No grass needed.

Stella:    Personally, I prefer pumpkin, but grass is free and easy to come by.

Me:        I appreciated how you stuck by me during my trouble, Stella. Sitting there on the bed, leaning against me.

Stella:    No problem, Lady Human. Dogs are not bothered by such natural things. Just remember next time – eat some grass.

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Bulldog Landscape – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. And that’s pretty much it.

Me:        What? No comments or complaints?

Stella:    Come to think of it…

Me:        Okay, here it comes.

Stella:    Comment – like the way we bulldogs have made the backyard look.

Me:        Really? Because I think it could use a lot of work.

Stella:    Why? We have carved beautiful pathways through the silly grass that no one needs anyway, except Snoopey and Wiggles when they eat some. I’ve tried it. Terrible. That’s what you can do. Plant a tastier variety, one that I will like. Otherwise, leave well enough alone.

Me:        I suppose we could put decorative stones along your paths.

Stella:    Those round and square hard things like the ones in the back?

Me:        Yeah, I think they look nice. And they keep the mud tracking down during wet weather.

Stella:    Nope.

Me:        Why not?

Stella:    They are hard on my sweet, soft tootsies.

Me:        You walk on cement and don’t seem to mind.

Stella:    Of course, I do. Wait. What is cement?

Me:        That hard stuff the patio is made of.

Stella:    Oh, that stuff. It is nice and smooth. Those squares and circles are bumpy. Hard to pee on.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.