A Whole Lot of Beeping Going On – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Early this morning, I was minding my business as usual when the still air was wrecked by the most awful noise. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Me:        I know. Everyone woke up.

Stella:    BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Me:        Thank you, Stella. I heard.

Stella:    What a ridiculous noise! I know it was a human noise. Do you know how I know? No self-respecting animal would make a noise like that.

Me:        A goose would. More of a honk, but still…

Stella:    That annoying bird that was in that movie on the Picture Box. No, thank you! But you have to admit, the beeping is worse.

Me:        Well, when everybody jumped up and started barking like mad…no, I don’t see the difference. You all did that at the goose during my movie. I always have to watch that movie more than once just to hear what’s going on because of all the barking at the goose.

Stella:    Maybe you should stop watching that movie. That would solve everything.

Me:        I don’t agree that bulldogs should dictate my television viewing habits.

Stella:    Well, someone needs to. So, all that beeping this morning AND YESTERDAY had nothing to do with gooses.

Me:        Geese.

Stella:    What?

Me:        Two “gooses” are referred to as geese.

Stella:    Lady Human, your language makes me want to scream.

Me:        Please don’t. We’ve already had enough noise around here today.

Stella:    Who was beeping and how do we get it to stop?

Me:        Today it was a bulk trash truck. It came earlier than usual. Yesterday it was the regular trash truck. I guess they had to back up.

Stella:    Why does backing up beep?

Me:        It’s a warning that they put on big trucks. It lets everybody around know that the truck is backing up and may be blind to what’s behind it.

Stella:    Scary.

Me:        Not for you all. Stay away from the trucks…and you do…and there is no danger.

Stella:    Except to our ears. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Humans and their noises. Honestly. Where does it end?

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Snoopey the Bulldog Stress Eater – Conversations with Stella and Snoopey

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges – calm, collected, cool Queen Stella. Snoopey, however…

Me:        Very tense today.

Stella:    And why not? All those machine noises all day long.

Me:        With all the storms and rain lately, there has been a lot to clean up. Chain saws, mowers, tree mulchers…

Stella:    All day long. And the big rumbly truck in the alley.

Me:        Trash truck. That was today, too.

Stella:    I don’t like the big rumbly truck. It always wakes me up from my 2nd morning nap after my 1st morning nap, the one that comes right before breakfast and my 3rd morning nap.

Me:        I’m glad for the trash truck. Otherwise, we would be hip deep in garbage in no time.

Stella:    That’s because you don’t let us bulldogs eat the garbage. We could take care of it in no time.

Me:        Nope. Remember Miss Sweetie and the Greasy Paper Towel Incident.

Stella:    Oh, yeah. But Sweetie was young. She did not have my discriminating tastes.

Me:        So today, every time there was a loud noise or big truck or machine, Snoopey barked and then dove into her leftover food.

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Snoopey:   Food is good. Food is every day. Food makes me feel normal.

Me:        I have been a stress eater in my time as well.

Snoopey:   Really, Lady Human? That makes me feel better. More normal.

Me:        Stress eating is pretty common among humans. We have what we call ‘comfort foods’.

Snoopey:   Like what?

Me:        For my tastes – mmmm, tacos, pizza, potato chips, ice cream…

Snoopey:   I will take all of those, please.

Me:        I think that you had better stick with your regular food and treats.

Stella:    Mmmm, treats. I’ll have two, please.

Me:        Later, Stella.

Stella:    Awwww.

Me:        Even if you eat when you are stressed, Snoopey, you are still only eating your recommended daily food allowance. You are not overeating. I just wish that you would trust me when I tell you that everything is all right. When you hear loud noises, there is nothing to fear.

Snoopey:   That is hard.

Me:        For humans, too.

Stella:    Uhhh, somebody mentioned treats. I am standing here. Waiting. Patiently. No stress eating here. Just eating. Okay?

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.