Snoopey the Bulldog Stress Eater – Conversations with Stella and Snoopey

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges – calm, collected, cool Queen Stella. Snoopey, however…

Me:        Very tense today.

Stella:    And why not? All those machine noises all day long.

Me:        With all the storms and rain lately, there has been a lot to clean up. Chain saws, mowers, tree mulchers…

Stella:    All day long. And the big rumbly truck in the alley.

Me:        Trash truck. That was today, too.

Stella:    I don’t like the big rumbly truck. It always wakes me up from my 2nd morning nap after my 1st morning nap, the one that comes right before breakfast and my 3rd morning nap.

Me:        I’m glad for the trash truck. Otherwise, we would be hip deep in garbage in no time.

Stella:    That’s because you don’t let us bulldogs eat the garbage. We could take care of it in no time.

Me:        Nope. Remember Miss Sweetie and the Greasy Paper Towel Incident.

Stella:    Oh, yeah. But Sweetie was young. She did not have my discriminating tastes.

Me:        So today, every time there was a loud noise or big truck or machine, Snoopey barked and then dove into her leftover food.


Snoopey:   Food is good. Food is every day. Food makes me feel normal.

Me:        I have been a stress eater in my time as well.

Snoopey:   Really, Lady Human? That makes me feel better. More normal.

Me:        Stress eating is pretty common among humans. We have what we call ‘comfort foods’.

Snoopey:   Like what?

Me:        For my tastes – mmmm, tacos, pizza, potato chips, ice cream…

Snoopey:   I will take all of those, please.

Me:        I think that you had better stick with your regular food and treats.

Stella:    Mmmm, treats. I’ll have two, please.

Me:        Later, Stella.

Stella:    Awwww.

Me:        Even if you eat when you are stressed, Snoopey, you are still only eating your recommended daily food allowance. You are not overeating. I just wish that you would trust me when I tell you that everything is all right. When you hear loud noises, there is nothing to fear.

Snoopey:   That is hard.

Me:        For humans, too.

Stella:    Uhhh, somebody mentioned treats. I am standing here. Waiting. Patiently. No stress eating here. Just eating. Okay?


Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Stella’s Bedtime Story – Conversations with Stella

Hello, humans! I am Queen Stella. Turn down the lights. Silence all loud noises. This bedtime story is for you. You need calming down. You have all been tense for months and Lady Human says that tomorrow is the Official Day of Election Nonsense. Since humans are full of nonsense most of the time, I don’t understand why tomorrow is more nonsensical than other human days, but I will take her word for it. After all, she is human and should know.

Me:        May I close my eyes and listen?

Stella:    As you wish. Now we begin.

Once upon a time this time yesterday, a sweet, smart bulldog named Stella was baking a meat pie.

Me:        You aren’t going to change the main character’s name?

Stella:    Listeners must be silent.

Me:        Sorry.

Stella:    Where was I? Oh, yes. Sweet, smart Stella was baking a wonderful, spicy meat pie. All the bulldogs sniffed the air to catch the aroma. Everyone sat still, quiet and nodding sleepily. She pulled the pie from the oven and set it on the floor where the bulldogs could reach it. As it cooled, the bulldogs dreamed of the magic pie and how good it would taste.

Me:        Magic pie?

Stella:    It is food, isn’t it? Now close your eyes and be quiet and calm down. It was peaceful, so peaceful when SUDDENLY, IN THROUGH THE WINDOW BURST A FLYING SQUIRREL!

Me:        What?

Stella:    The squirrel whirled around the kitchen, clawing on each pass at the bulldogs and the precious meat pie. Sweet Stella stood up to defend her kin, transforming into FLYING STELLA, SQUIRREL FIGHTER. She reached into the pie and pulled out a piece of carrot. She threw it out the window in front of the food-stealing squirrel and slammed the window shut behind him. No squirrel was going to get away with her pie!

Me:        This is a bedtime story to calm people down?

Stella:    Think of defeating a flying squirrel at his own game. That always calms me down. Doesn’t it you?




Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.