I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: I have an announcement.
Stella: Oh, no. What now?
Me: The useless, popup barking at dawn. Way too early to get up. Nothing was going on worth reporting. I am here to tell you that y’all are not roosters so no daybreak barking!
Tiger: Are you sure we are not roosters? And what are roosters?
Wiggles: They are boy chickens and they are very loud early in the morning and I am glad that there are not any of them here.
Miss Sweetie: Can I be a rooster?
Me: No, ma’am. As y’all are always telling me, you are bulldogs.
Doodlebug: I am a boy. I am a bulldog. I can be a bulldog rooster.
Me: No, absolutely not.
Doodlebug: Where do I apply to be a rooster?
Me: That’s not the way that works. Born a bulldog. Always a bulldog.
Me: Look. I understand that you bark. I just don’t want the barking at dawn.
Stella: Okay. Everybody, schedule your barkers for midnight.
Stella: Why not? Do roosters bark at midnight?
Me: Roosters crow, but not usually at midnight.
Stella: Too many rules. Don’t bark at dawn. Don’t bark at midnight. Don’t crow because you’re not a rooster. The humans are confused. Everybody, back to auto-bark.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.