I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. You are going to have to tell Sweetie again, Lady Human. Tell her not to try to catch the big bomber beetles.
Me: The locusts?
Stella: YES! Silly girl! I don’t see what the attraction is.
Miss Sweetie: They buzz me when I am trying to enjoy myself outside. Nobody buzzes me!
Me: If you catch one, you won’t be happy.
Stella: That’s what I told her.
Miss Sweetie: Why not? They look delicious. They are round and colorful. Big fat treats in the air.
Me: And they don’t stop buzzing in your mouth. I know. I’ve been privileged to see a cat catch one.
Stella: Was it Moon Cat? Tell me it was Moon Cat.
Me: No, it was a cat many, many years ago. She was hanging around the front porch one evening when a locust landed. She went for it, caught it in her mouth, and then…
Miss Sweetie: …and then she ate it and lived happily ever after.
Me: No, she did live happily ever after, but not during the half minute she had that thing trapped in her mouth. She had a tiger by the tail and didn’t know what to do with it.
Stella: I thought you said she caught a locust in her mouth. Where did the tiger come from? Were tigers wandering around in those days? ‘Cuz if they are still around, I would like to meet one.
Me: No, you wouldn’t, and no, they didn’t. “Tiger by the tail” is an expression that refers to when someone gets ahold of something they can’t handle.
Stella: Oh, never mind, Sweetie, it’s just another meaningless bunch of human words.
Miss Sweetie: I think I’d still like to catch one of those flying bugs.
Stella: Just let us know if you ever do.
Me: Oh, she’ll let us know all right. I doubt we’ll miss that. There’ll be jumping and head shaking and big-time drooling.
Stella: That sounds great! A popcorn event.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.