I am Stella, Queen of the…what is that horrible noise? Anyway, I am Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and…why doesn’t it stop?
Me: What noise?
Stella: Don’t you hear it? It is coming from the trees. All the trees. Are the trees screaming?
Me: I don’t…oh, you mean that noise, like a wind-up toy, only it doesn’t stop. The trees are not screaming. We’ve talked about this before, remember? It’s the locusts. Well, we call them locusts. Properly, they are cicadas. They come every summer. It’s how we know the heat has arrived.
Stella: Locusts? You mean those big bugs? And I don’t need bugs to tell me that the heat has arrived. If you need bugs to tell you it’s hot, I think bulldogs are smarter than humans. And just because it’s hot, why do they have to make that awful noise like a wind-up toy, whatever that is?
Me: I believe it has to do with their mating.
Stella: Mating! You mean they are trying to make more of themselves! So they can get even louder! NO!!!
Me: But remember, the eggs they lay this summer won’t hatch for 14 years or more, therefore, no amplification.
Me: There won’t be any more of them this year, so they are probably as loud as they are going to get. As an interesting aside, that gear noise they produce comes from their abdomens, not their wings or legs. At least that’s what I was told.
Stella: Abdomens? Another human nonsense word. Humans find that interesting?
Me: Abdomen means tummy.
Stella: Gross. When I make noise with my tummy, you all complain about the smell. And what do you mean about wings?
Me: They have wings.
Stella: And they do what with their wings?
Me: What do wings usually do? They fly.
Stella: They FLY? NO!!! Noisy flying giant bugs! Protect me!
Me: They usually only fly from tree to tree, but if you see one on the ground and if it’s still alive, don’t eat it and don’t step on it because…you know…noisy flying giant bug.
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