Side Bumping – Conversations with Stella, Wiggles, and Miss Sweetie


I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am appalled. I have never seen anything so undignified in my life.

Me:  And for a bulldog, that’s saying a lot.

Stella:  Lady Human, whatever do you mean?

Me:  I just mean that bulldogs do so many things that are undig…well, you know…I can’t imagine that this takes the cake for undignified.

Wiggles:  Stand right there, Sweetie. Boom!

Miss Sweetie:  Oh, no, you don’t. Here I come! Boom! Boom! My side bump was bigger than yours.

Wiggles:  Just you watch this! Boom!

Stella:  Stop that immediately. You’re knocking into each other like you are cows or pigs or some such.

Me:  I recall you doing it more than a few times, Stella.

Stella:  How dare you!

Me:  Yeah, you’ve done it to me back on my own bed. All of a sudden, boom! I figured it was a bulldog game. Still, it was a little surprising.

Stella:  That was different. I was imitating those humans on the Picture Box, the ones who run around wearing funny clothes and big balls on their heads.

Me:  Big balls on their heads? What?

Stella:  You know the ones. All the humans are yelling and the humans on the grass bump into each other.

Me:  Football?

Stella:  If that’s what you want to call it. I call it side bumping and, while humans do it, I disapprove any such activity for bulldogs. But …if you want to play it with me, Lady Human, I will allow it. Boom!






Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

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