I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, whatcha doin’?
Me: I am hurriedly wrapping packages at the last minute before…
Stella: The little human comes? Yay! But why are you hurrying? Why is it last minute? Is this one of those things you were supposed to do but didn’t do because you were too busy being lazy?
Me: Well…let’s change the subject.
Stella: Why are you hiding the gifts in paper? Is the little human supposed to chew her way through? Is this a human training exercise so she can learn to hunt for food?
Me: No, it’s just colorful and decorative and makes the gifts more surprising.
Stella: Why not bury them in the ground and let her dig them up? That would be surprising.
Me: Yeah, and a quite a bit dirtier.
Stella: And what do you do with the paper after? Eat it?
Me: What is this with you and paper eating?
Stella: Just trying to put a bulldog twist on your human ways.
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Bulldoggy 