I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you scheming there, Lady Human?
Me: Scheming? That’s not very nice. What do you take me for?
Stella: A schemer, just like all humans. You are always planning to clip our toenails, get us to take medicine disguised as treats, clean our dirty ears…
Me: Then you do admit that your ears are dirty…
Stella: No, of course not, not dirty at all. What do you have in your hand and don’t you dare put it on me.
Me: It’s that really big sweater I crocheted for you a few years back.
Stella: That’s what I thought. Take it away. I am a bulldog. I don’t wear things like that.
Me: But it’s getting colder and I thought…
Stella: You thought wrongly as usual. I will tuck into my covers for warmth, free and naked. Why are you smiling?
Me: I never think about dogs being naked, but I guess you are.
Stella: How rude!
Me: Hey, you’re the one who brought it up.
Stella: Even so, no excuse for rudeness.
Me: Well, alright. I’ll just add the sweater to your blanket pile on the bed. I did find this other sweater on sale…
Stella: Nope.
Me: It fits closer than the other one…
Stella: Nope.
Me: You might like it…
Stella: Nope.
Me: I just thought…
Stella: What are those big word books you humans use?
Me: Dictionaries?
Stella: Yes. You should get one. You don’t seem to understand what the word ‘nope’ means.
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Bulldoggy 