I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I am the scorekeeper for the bulldog
games. What are they? I have no idea. When are they? Whenever. At Christmas time, the humans sing a song about reindeer games. If I don’t know what bulldog games are and I am a bulldog, I sure don’t know what reindeer games are. It is all too confusing and tiring. I am going to take a nap. At least I know what that is.
Me: I just started a treat catch game with Doodlebug and Tiger. Do you want to try it? All I do is hold a treat up above each of their heads and I drop it. They try to catch it in their mouths. Tiger is really good at it. She’s running about 90% accuracy.
Stella: And Doodlebug? He has the biggest face and biggest mouth of us all. How is he doing?
Me: Well, he moves his head a lot and the treat bounces off his nose most of the time. So…
Stella: He’s a loser.
Me: No, I wouldn’t say that.
Stella: I would. He can’t catch a treat in his big ole mouth because he won’t stop moving.
Me: Treat catch is just not his particular game. Every once in a while, he gets one. So…
Stella: He’s a part-time loser.
Me: And a part-time winner.
Me: Stella! How rude!
Stella: Let me try that treat catch game.
Me: All right. Here goes!
Stella: Awww! It bounced off my nose. Here, let me eat it.
Me: Want to try again? 1…2…3…
Stella: Aaagggh! It bounced off my nose. Where did it go?
Me: Never mind. I’ll find it later.
Stella: Never mind ‘never mind’. I’ll find it later!
Me: One more try, okay?
Stella: I CAUGHT IT! Right in my mouth! Yay, me!!! Aacckk! Aacckk! Aaaaghh!
Me: Chew it slowly.
Stella: What kind of a stupid game is this? The Choke a Bulldog by Throwing Food Game?
Me: No, that’s why the pieces are small. You just have to chew what you catch.
Stella: Oh, I’m sorry. I thought the treats were small because you were being stingy.
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