The Queen Has To Be The Queen All the Time – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Me:        The barking is deafening. What’s going on? Stella?

Stella:    Huh?

Me:        The whole pack just erupted in barking and I can’t tell why. So… why?

Stella:    I don’t know. Whatever.

Me:        Excuse me, but where is the Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges?

Tiger:     Right here. Ready to take over.

Me:        It was a rhetorical question, Tiger.

Tiger:     Still ready, willing, and able, ma’am.

Me:        Maybe you can tell me what caused the outburst just now.

Miss Sweetie:    I can! I can! Me! Me! Me!

Me:        You caused it, or you know why, Sweetie.

Miss Sweetie:    Both. Wait. What was the question?

Doodlebug:        You started barking because of the cat.

Wiggles:   No, I started barking because of the cat.

Me:        Stella, why did everyone start barking at the cat? She was sitting on top of the big chair, minding her own business.

Stella:    I don’t know.

Me:        Why not?

Stella:    I was watching the Picture Box. That show with big waves and humans turning around fast was on. I love that show!

Me:        But you are the Queen. I count on you to let me know what’s going on.

Stella:    Oh, all right. I did hear the cat. She was hacking up one of those yucky globs of goo and hair, and the others thought it was a big deal.

Me:        Moon was hacking up a hairball? That’s what started all the barking?

Stella:    Yeah, it’s a pretty ugly noise, but not enough to interrupt a good Picture Box show.

Me:        But you are the Queen.

Stella:    Even the Queen needs a day off now and then.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

What is Jury Duty? Do They Serve Food?

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human awakened us for breakfast at an unreasonable hour this morning. It was still dark. Food is good, but not in the dark. Why, Lady Human, why, oh why?

Me:        Hey, at least you all got to go right back to sleep. I had to catch a train into town so I wouldn’t have to deal with traffic and parking.

Stella:    Why, oh why would you get up and leave in the dark to go someplace  called ‘town’ where you never go?

Me:        Jury duty.

Stella:    Nonsense.

Me:        No, jury duty is a real thing.

Stella:    What I mean is that those are just more human nonsense words. What would drag you out in the middle of the night away from your loving bulldogs?

Me:        It was just a little before sunrise, not the middle of the night. Still…you’re right. Every once in a long, long while, people get a jury summons. Our court system calls us to serve on a jury to judge the facts of a case.

Stella:    As I said, nonsense. Blah, blah, blah.

Me:        Suffice it to say, I had to go downtown. I had no choice. To get there on time, I had to leave ultra-early.

Stella:    So, you did this jury duty nonsense thing?

Me:        I showed up. They didn’t need me so they sent me home.

Stella:    Darn tootin’ they sent you back! How dare they take you away in the first place?

Me:        Humans have responsibilities to other humans. This is one of the more minor ones.

Stella:    Is jury duty fun?

Me:        Mmmmm.

Stella:    No fun. Is there a bunch of food? Do you get fed for going to ‘jury duty’?

Me:        Nope. No food. I took my own sack lunch.

Stella:    No fun. No food. Do you play games?

Me:        Nope. No games. It’s all pretty serious.

Stella:    No fun. No food. No games. Do you make a lot of that stuff you call ‘money’?

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    No fun. No food. No games. No money. Why do it then?

Me:        Duty.

Stella:    I don’t want to know any more. Duty does not sound like a bulldog thing.

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.