Hello! I am Stella, Illustrious Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello! Oh, I already said that, didn’t I? I have so much on my mind these days. All the humans feel tense which makes me feel tense.
It must have something to do with those loud humans on the Picture Box, always talking, talking, talking. Nothing else is wrong. There is food. There are treats. The outside is tolerable. It still could be cooler, but they keep saying that the cool is coming. I think that my humans are gullible. They keep believing what the weather people on the Picture Box tell them.
I think that the Picture Box was invented by cats.
When our humans are too busy to play, we bulldogs find our own fun. We can make a game out of anything. Really! ANYTHING!
A stick? Tasty AND a great toy. I prefer pecan, but mesquite or oak will do in a pinch.
A rock? If it’s big enough, stand on it like one of the human statues. Impressive. Bulldoggy. Only don’t stand there too long. They will try to take your picture with one of their little boxes. If the rock is small, roll it with your nose or kick it with your foot.
And then there are the fun things that my humans leave outside. Wooden gates that are a challenge to dismantle. Great puzzles for bulldog brains. We know how to pick them apart.
The latest toy – a long, long green plastic rope. Lady Human did get upset when she saw the use we made of it. I heard her tell Tall Man “electrical cord” and “at least it was not plugged in”, whatever that means. And he said, “Oh, great.” So at least he saw what a good job we did of chewing it up.
So keep your eyes open, bulldogs and all fellow dogs! Don’t depend on humans for fun. Make your own! Just depend on humans for food, treats, beds, air conditioning, clean ears, clean wrinkles, cool store-bought toys, human-made chew sticks, head pets, massages, manicures, walks, belly rubs, brushing, scratching on your chest and anywhere else you can’t reach, the rare bath (admit it, sometimes we need one), and vet visits (yuck). Have I left anything else out? Well, if I have, just depend on the humans to think of it.
I declare this to be official pre-bedtime nap time. Good night, all dogs everywhere!
Signed, Queen Stella the Illustrious
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.