Splitting Hairs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you have a big tangle of long hairs in your hand. Are you collecting them?

Me: No, I am throwing them away.

Doodlebug: How come they’re in your hand and not on your head where they ought to be?

Me: I’m shedding a lot right now and some are breaking off. Not enough protein, I guess.

Sweetie: Eat our food! We shed a lot and we’ve still got tons of hair. Take some of our shed hair, too, and glue it on to yours. We’ll share!

Me: You already do.

MoonCat: Never accept a donation of hair from a bulldog. They won’t take it back and it will stay with you forever.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Parakeet Hair – Conversation with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I must file another complaint, Lady Human.

Me: Oh, must you? And we have an official file now?

Sweetie: Yes, you always say keep everything in good order.

MoonCat: And good order would apply to a bulldog how?

Sweetie: The parakeets are shedding hair all over the place.

Me: Parakeets don’t have hair to shed.

Doodlebug: But there’s all this fluff here.

Me: Feathers. And what’s all this fluff here? Looks like…bulldog hair!

MoonCat: As usual, fluff and nonsense.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.