Me: Sweetie? What’s going on?
Sweetie: Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Nothing to trouble you. Just go on about your business.
Me: If you are thinking about digging in the trash, it is most certainly my business.
Sweetie: Just patrolling to make sure you all aren’t wasting any food. But you’re okay. Everything here stinks to high heaven, and not in the good way. Not one item to tempt a bulldog or a human, and we know how loose human standards are.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges and…
Me: Stella, girl, it’s cold. If you’re finished, let’s go in.
Stella: Not finished. Still sniffing.
Me: Okay.
Stella: What is that noise you’re making?
Me: I’m humming. You’ve heard me do that before.
Stella: Please stop. It is interfering with what I am doing.
Me: You’re sniffing.
Stella: Yes.
Me: How can humming interfere with sniffing?
Stella: Sniffing is a delicate art. Anything can interfere with it.
Me: Well, can you cut the sniffing short a little bit? It’s cold out here and I’d like to get back inside.
Stella: You know how you sit down with a cup of that stuff you call ‘coffee’ and, no matter how we try, you don’t get up until you have your silly ‘coffee break’?
Me: Coffee breaks aren’t silly. They are necessary hedges against the intrusions of insistent bulldogs. If I give in, my coffee gets cold.
Stella: Sniffing isn’t silly either and sniffing can’t be cut short.
Me: How long can you sniff the same ground over and over?
Stella: Sniffing is my coffee break, only without the coffee. Now let’s go in. It’s chilly out here. Sniffing break’s over. My sniffer is getting cold and a cold sniffer has to be worse than cold coffee.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 