Why Do Cats Get Special Food? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Sure, we bulldogs get food. Lady Human measures it out to us every morning. She says the white coat lady whom she calls Vet (humans have such bizarre names) says that we should not eat too much, or we will get fat. Very well. But why shouldn’t we get special food, especially if we are not allowed to overeat?

Me:        What special food are you talking about?

Stella:    You can’t fool me.

Me:        I didn’t know that I was trying to fool you.

Stella:    I see when you sneak great smelling stuff into the cat’s bowl, ignoring the rest of us.

Me:        Great smelling stuff like…tuna fish? Salmon? Really?

Stella:    Just proof that you don’t love us as much as you love Moon the Cat…wait, sorry, MOONCAT.

Me:        You’ve gotten special salmon dog food before.

Stella:    When?

Me:        I don’t remember. Sometime.

Stella:    If it didn’t happen in the last ten minutes, it didn’t happen. Step up your game, Lady Human. Do you eat the same thing every day?

Me:        Yeah, until the leftovers are gone.

Stella:    Leftovers? What are leftovers?

Me:        Something a bulldog would never experience.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Right Reserved.

 

 

The Joy of Cooking with Bulldogs – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and today I am in the kitchen, helping Lady Human prepare whatever the mess is that she is cooking.

Me:        Mess? I beg your pardon?

Stella:    Pardon granted. We may be able to salvage some of it. It is hard to tell at this point.

Me:        Wait! I just dropped that. Let me clean…

Wiggles:   Never mind. All cleaned up.

Me:        Oh, okay. Thanks. But don’t clean up any garlic or onion that I drop. Not good for you.

Miss Sweetie:    What is that on the floor there?

Me:        I don’t know. The cat was interested in that spot a while ago, too. Wait!

Snoopey:   No problem, Lady Human. I got it. Kind of sweet.

Me:        All right. I don’t know what that was. Let me get the rest of my ingredients into the slow cooker.

Tiger:     Slow cooking is not a problem for me. I eat most things raw.

Me:        Well, this is for me and I like to blend the flavors in a slow heat.

Stella:    For you? How selfish!

Doodlebug:   When this recipe doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, I will be happy to gobble up the wreck. That is my purpose in life. To clean up human food messes.

Me:        This will not be a wreck.

Stella:    Promises. Promises.

Wiggles:   Just toss what you don’t want on the floor. We are waiting.

Me:        I am not tossing good food on the floor.

Stella:    Who said anything about good?

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.