The Joy of Cooking with Bulldogs – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and today I am in the kitchen, helping Lady Human prepare whatever the mess is that she is cooking.

Me:        Mess? I beg your pardon?

Stella:    Pardon granted. We may be able to salvage some of it. It is hard to tell at this point.

Me:        Wait! I just dropped that. Let me clean…

Wiggles:   Never mind. All cleaned up.

Me:        Oh, okay. Thanks. But don’t clean up any garlic or onion that I drop. Not good for you.

Miss Sweetie:    What is that on the floor there?

Me:        I don’t know. The cat was interested in that spot a while ago, too. Wait!

Snoopey:   No problem, Lady Human. I got it. Kind of sweet.

Me:        All right. I don’t know what that was. Let me get the rest of my ingredients into the slow cooker.

Tiger:     Slow cooking is not a problem for me. I eat most things raw.

Me:        Well, this is for me and I like to blend the flavors in a slow heat.

Stella:    For you? How selfish!

Doodlebug:   When this recipe doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, I will be happy to gobble up the wreck. That is my purpose in life. To clean up human food messes.

Me:        This will not be a wreck.

Stella:    Promises. Promises.

Wiggles:   Just toss what you don’t want on the floor. We are waiting.

Me:        I am not tossing good food on the floor.

Stella:    Who said anything about good?

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

What’s Cooking? More Importantly, Is It for Me? – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and food is cooking in the kitchen. It has been flavoring the air for hours and hours. I can see steam coming out of the red pot. I know it holds something wonderful.

So, Lady Human, where is mine?

Me:        Oh, that’s Tall Man’s special stew. He makes it up so that he always has something ready to eat when he gets home from work. He is trying to eat healthier.

Stella:    I am trying to eat healthier so…

Me:        No, that is for Tall Man. You have your healthy food already.

Stella:    It smells so good. What is it?

Me:        Well, he puts some water in the crock pot and then adds about 1 pound of beef, some small sweet potatoes cut up, spinach, a small onion cut up, and two handfuls of kale, and he lets it cook on a low setting, then it’s ready when he gets home.

Stella:    Beef – check. I’ve had that. Sweet potatoes cook into a tasty treat. I’ve had that. Spinach? I don’t know. Onions?

Me:        No. No. No. Not good for dogs.

Stella:    Kale? What is that?

Me:        It’s a green leafy vegetable like spinach is.

Stella:    You mean like a bush in the front yard.

Me:        Sort of, but not quite.

Stella:    Not interested. Okay, I will take the beef and the sweet potatoes. You can keep the rest.

Me:        No deal. Tall Man would be very disappointed to come home and find his dinner half eaten.

Stella:    He can make more.

Me:        Nope. Not today. He used up his ingredients in this batch.

Stella:    That was poor planning on his part.

Me:        It’s his food, Stella, not yours, not even mine.

Stella:    How dare he make something smell so good that is healthy! Has he no respect? Doesn’t he know we are bulldogs?

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.