I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and food is cooking in the kitchen. It has been flavoring the air for hours and hours. I can see steam coming out of the red pot. I know it holds something wonderful.
So, Lady Human, where is mine?
Me: Oh, that’s Tall Man’s special stew. He makes it up so that he always has something ready to eat when he gets home from work. He is trying to eat healthier.
Stella: I am trying to eat healthier so…
Me: No, that is for Tall Man. You have your healthy food already.
Stella: It smells so good. What is it?
Me: Well, he puts some water in the crock pot and then adds about 1 pound of beef, some small sweet potatoes cut up, spinach, a small onion cut up, and two handfuls of kale, and he lets it cook on a low setting, then it’s ready when he gets home.
Stella: Beef – check. I’ve had that. Sweet potatoes cook into a tasty treat. I’ve had that. Spinach? I don’t know. Onions?
Me: No. No. No. Not good for dogs.
Stella: Kale? What is that?
Me: It’s a green leafy vegetable like spinach is.
Stella: You mean like a bush in the front yard.
Me: Sort of, but not quite.
Stella: Not interested. Okay, I will take the beef and the sweet potatoes. You can keep the rest.
Me: No deal. Tall Man would be very disappointed to come home and find his dinner half eaten.
Stella: He can make more.
Me: Nope. Not today. He used up his ingredients in this batch.
Stella: That was poor planning on his part.
Me: It’s his food, Stella, not yours, not even mine.
Stella: How dare he make something smell so good that is healthy! Has he no respect? Doesn’t he know we are bulldogs?
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Bulldoggy 